{"id":1054,"date":"2013-03-25T08:23:50","date_gmt":"2013-03-25T12:23:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.summerofjim.com\/?p=1054"},"modified":"2013-03-25T14:13:31","modified_gmt":"2013-03-25T18:13:31","slug":"the-last-supper","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/summerofjim.com\/?p=1054","title":{"rendered":"The Last Supper"},"content":{"rendered":"

{March 14, 44 BCE}<\/p>\n

CAESAR:\u00a0 Calpurnia!\u00a0 I\u2019m home!<\/p>\n

CALPURNIA: Waaaaaaaaaaah!<\/p>\n

CAESAR:\u00a0 What is it now Calpurnia?<\/p>\n

CALPURNIA:\u00a0 Waaaaaaaaaaaaah!\u00a0 Oh, Julie I feel so horrible!\u00a0 Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!<\/p>\n

CAESAR:\u00a0 Settle down Calpurnia and \u2018splain to me what happen\u2019.<\/p>\n

CALPURNIA:\u00a0 Well\u2026 I know that you were going to have a hard day at the Senate and I wanted to make you a very special supper and Little Julie was going to help me with cooking and you know how much he wants to please you and when I asked him to wash the arugula he thought I had said \u201cCaligula\u201d so he washed the cat and he didn\u2019t mean to hold the cat under the water for as long as he did but he thought that it was the only way he could clean the cat\u2019s ears and he was trying so hard to make you proud of him and the poor little dear began to cry when Caligula finally floated to the surface of the bath and after we made a funeral pyre and burned the cat that mean Senator Tillius Cimber who lives next door complained about the courtyard smelling like smoky egg farts and he said that he was going to tell our landlord Casca about it and have us thrown out even though we already want to move to that new development on the Appian Way and then I remembered that I left the ox-tails braising on the range and when I ran back into the kitchen I could smell the ox-tails burning and not just crispy the way you like them but dried out the way you don\u2019t like them and when I went to see if there were any more ox-tails there weren\u2019t any left because I had used them for Little Julie\u2019s school sandwich and the only food we have left is marinated olives, a day old baguette and a half eaten strawberry-rhubarb pie and I didn\u2019t want to disappoint you!\u00a0 Waaaaaaaaaaaaah!<\/p>\n

CAESAR: We hab\u2019 no ox-tails?\u00a0 Look\u2026 we can go out to dinner.\u00a0 Now stop cryin\u2019.\u00a0 I\u2019ve got a joke you never heard in your life.\u00a0 I know a girl who\u2019s so dumb she thinks a football coach has four wheels!\u00a0 Ha, ha, ha!<\/p>\n

CALPURNIA:\u00a0 How many wheels does it have?<\/p>\n

CAESAR: Never mine\u2019.\u00a0 Look, I\u2019ll make a reservation at Club Babalu.\u00a0 Brutus tol\u2019 me they make ox-tails with black beans, saffron rice and habanero chilies and they serve it with a Vino Nobile<\/em>.<\/p>\n

CALPURNIA:\u00a0 Waaaaaaaaaaaaah!<\/p>\n

CAESAR: Wass wrong? You no like Vino Nobile?<\/p>\n

CALPURNIA:\u00a0 Casca made me so darn mad!<\/p>\n

CAESAR:\u00a0 Now what?<\/p>\n

CALPURNIA: He said that he is going to hold us to our lease.\u00a0 We have to pay him five month\u2019s rent before we can leave.\u00a0 I guess we\u2019re stuck here!<\/p>\n

CAESAR:\u00a0 Well, now\u2026 that all depends.<\/p>\n

CALPURNIA:\u00a0 On what?<\/p>\n

CAESAR:\u00a0 On whether we can break the lease or not.\u00a0 We are going to become the two most unpleasant, disagreeable nasty people in the whole world.<\/p>\n

CALPURNIA:\u00a0 How?<\/p>\n

CAESAR:\u00a0 We\u2019ll force ourselves!<\/p>\n

\"lucydesi\"<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

{March 14, 44 BCE} CAESAR:\u00a0 Calpurnia!\u00a0 I\u2019m home! CALPURNIA: Waaaaaaaaaaah! CAESAR:\u00a0 What is it now Calpurnia? CALPURNIA:\u00a0 Waaaaaaaaaaaaah!\u00a0 Oh, Julie I feel so horrible!\u00a0 Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! CAESAR:\u00a0 Settle down Calpurnia and \u2018splain to me what happen\u2019. CALPURNIA:\u00a0 Well\u2026 I know that … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1054","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-history"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/summerofjim.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1054","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/summerofjim.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/summerofjim.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/summerofjim.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/summerofjim.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1054"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/summerofjim.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1054\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1059,"href":"http:\/\/summerofjim.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1054\/revisions\/1059"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/summerofjim.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1054"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/summerofjim.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1054"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/summerofjim.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1054"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}