This has been in my inventory for many years\u2026 first told to me by\u00a0my Brother-in-Law\u00a0Alan. \u00a0I took it off the shelf yesterday and shared it with someone with whom I regularly trade stories.\u00a0 Today he asked me for an abbreviated<\/i> version of the joke.\u00a0 Can you imagine asking Leo Tolstoy to take out 200 pages of War and Peace<\/i>?\u00a0 See my point?<\/p>\n
But the guy is a good friend so I spent the better part of a day agonizing over what to trim.\u00a0 I have a desk full of drafts, and an ashtray full of cigarette butts in front of me.\u00a0 And I don\u2019t even smoke! {I use the butts for inspiration\u2026 the great Anthony Burgess said he couldn\u2019t write a word without a mountain of cigarette butts in front of him.} I cut this, I cut that. I changed tenses at least three time and\u00a0in two places I modified the syntax… and I’m not even sure what syntax is! {When I was in the 8th Grade a classmate told me it had to do with a girl’s “moon time”, and here I thought it was a model name for a Chevy convertible}<\/p>\n
I hesitate sending this joke to you in this condition\u2026 some of my best lines, parenthetical diversions\u00a0and elaborate details have been omitted. But, as I say\u2026 he\u2019s a friend!<\/p>\n
*ach<\/b>* What we do for our friends!<\/p>\n
\u00a0***<\/p>\n
Sammie and Beckie have been married for 40 years… and lately Sammie has noticed a decline in Beckie\u2019s enthusiasm in their lovemaking.\u00a0 Distraught over not satisfying the love of his life, he turned to someone he trusted for help\u2026 his Rabbi.<\/i><\/p>\n
The Rabbi offered him some special prayers to say before their lovemaking.\u00a0 Which he dutifully did; but to no success.<\/p>\n
He went to the Rabbi a second time and confessed that the prayers, although very special, didn\u2019t work.\u00a0 Beckie was merely going thru the motions & he was heartsick.<\/p>\n
The Rabbi, listened carefully, then excused himself to go into the adjacent bathroom and returned with a wash cloth.<\/p>\n
\u201cSamuel, I am giving you this very special cloth to which I have blessed using a unique prayer used by Solomon the Great.\u00a0 I want you to seek out a verile young male in our community and invite him to Sabbath dinner.\u00a0 After dinner have the young man join you and Rebecca in your bedroom.\u00a0 You say the prayer I have already given you, and while you are making love to your bride, let the young man wave this sacred<\/i> cloth over you.\u00a0 Rebecca will weep tears of joy!\u201d<\/p>\n
Sammie did as told.\u00a0 Still no success.<\/p>\n
Too embarrassed to go back to the Rabbi, Sammie looked at the young man and said, \u201cYou!\u00a0 Stay where you are! Don\u2019t go anywhere! We\u2019re going to do this one more time\u2026 but this time we\u2019re switching positions! Give me that cloth!\u201d<\/i><\/p>\n
And with this, Sammie hops out bed, and grabs the towel from the young man.\u00a0 The young man assumes the position in the bed and soon Beckie is overcome, crooning and groaning and delight, \u201cOy, oy\u2026. Yes!\u00a0 Yes!!\u00a0 Yeessss… 000h, so true!\u201d<\/p>\n
Sammie\u00a0glares in\u00a0amazement, \u201cYou see!\u00a0 YOU SEE!!\u00a0 THIS IS HOW YOU WAVE A TOWEL!!\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
This has been in my inventory for many years\u2026 first told to me by\u00a0my Brother-in-Law\u00a0Alan. \u00a0I took it off the shelf yesterday and shared it with someone with whom I regularly trade stories.\u00a0 Today he asked me for an abbreviated … Continue reading