{"id":131,"date":"2005-02-02T13:28:16","date_gmt":"2005-02-02T18:28:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.summerofjim.com\/?p=131"},"modified":"2005-12-16T08:13:30","modified_gmt":"2005-12-16T13:13:30","slug":"joke-clinic-47-the-accent-joke","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/summerofjim.com\/?p=131","title":{"rendered":"Joke Clinic #47: The Accent Joke"},"content":{"rendered":"

I have long since forgotten the source for this piece of humor… it matters not.\u00a0 This joke is hilarious.\u00a0 The accent<\/em> portion in the tag line should be accompanied by a shrug.<\/p>\n

THE AMAZING GOLDSTEIN<\/p>\n

A traveling salesman visits a small town in the Midwest and sees a circus banner reading, “Don’t Miss The Amazing Goldstein.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Curious, he buys a ticket.<\/strong><\/p>\n

The tent goes dark. Suddenly, trumpets blare and all eyes turn to the center ring. There, spot lit in the center ring is a table with three walnuts on it.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Standing next to it is an old Jewish man.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Suddenly the old man unzips his pants, whips out a huge shlong, and smashes all three walnuts with three mighty swings!<\/strong><\/p>\n

The crowd erupts in applause as the elderly Goldstein is carried off on the shoulders of the clowns.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ten years later the salesman visits the same little town and he sees a faded sign for the same circus and the same “Don’t Miss the Amazing Goldstein.”<\/strong><\/p>\n

He can’t believe the old guy is still alive much less still doing his act!<\/strong><\/p>\n

So he buys a ticket. Again, the center ring is illuminated. This time, instead of walnuts, three coconuts are on the table.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Goldstein stands before them, then suddenly unzips his fly and smashes the coconuts with three swings of his amazing shlong.<\/strong><\/p>\n

The crowd goes wild!<\/strong><\/p>\n

Flabbergasted, the salesman requests a meeting with him after the show.”You’re incredible,” he tells Goldstein. “But I have to know something. You’re older now. Why switch from walnuts to coconuts?”<\/strong><\/p>\n

“Vell,” says Goldstein, “My eyes ain’t vhat dey used to be.”<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I have long since forgotten the source for this piece of humor… it matters not.\u00a0 This joke is hilarious.\u00a0 The accent portion in the tag line should be accompanied by a shrug. THE AMAZING GOLDSTEIN A traveling salesman visits a … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-131","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-ministry-of-jokes"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/summerofjim.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/131","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/summerofjim.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/summerofjim.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/summerofjim.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/summerofjim.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=131"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/summerofjim.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/131\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/summerofjim.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=131"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/summerofjim.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=131"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/summerofjim.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=131"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}