So the great Galileo Galilei discovers 4 moons around Jupiter\u2026 and names them Io, Europa, Callisto & Ganymeade\u2026 they were named after his cats. I don\u2019t like cats, but that\u2019s not my gripe here.<\/p>\n
I want to know why Jupiter got so many moons and we only got one! I mean it\u2019s not like there are people living on Jupiter who could appreciate this heavenly largesse!<\/p>\n
And not only do they have so many moons; but Galileo took the time to name them! Did he take the trouble to name our moon? No! Maybe he ran out of cats?<\/p>\n
But the fact remains, Jupiter\u2019s got a helluva lot more moons than we do! And<\/strong> they got fancy names, too! It just doesn\u2019t seem right. Look, Jupiter has nothing right? Not even a place as good as South Beach\u2026 or a South Beach Diet. Have you ever heard of the Jupiter Diet. I don\u2019t think so! But they have all these moons \u2013 with neat sounding names!<\/p>\n And when they finally get around to naming stuff on our <\/em>moon we get a bunch of second hand garbage like the Sea of Copernicus.<\/em> What kind of name is that? I\u2019ll tell you what\u2026 it\u2019s a dumb <\/strong>name! Why can\u2019t we have cool names like Lower East Side Sea <\/em>or New Lake Michigan<\/em>? Good names!<\/p>\n But nobody cares! And do you know why? Because we only have one <\/em>moon\u2026 who cares about one moon? No one! But if we had a bunch of moons like Jupiter, then folks would notice! You better believe they would take notice! Then Christopher Cross would have to change the lyrics in “Arthur\u2019s Theme” to if you get caught between the moons<\/strong> and New York City. <\/em>You see! Even the song is better already!<\/p>\n And now you know why I\u2019m so angry! We only got one stinkin\u2019 moon. And I\u2019m tired of it!<\/p>\n And I\u2019m going to do something about it! I am going to start by changing the name of the Sea of Copernicus\u2026 from now on when you cast your eyes to our Moon, take pride in looking at the Sea of Johnny Unitas\u2026 and there will be other changes, too… the Valley of Wilt Chamberlain & Wild Turkey Mountain.<\/p>\n There\u2026 I think that\u2019s a reasonable start\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" So the great Galileo Galilei discovers 4 moons around Jupiter\u2026 and names them Io, Europa, Callisto & Ganymeade\u2026 they were named after his cats. I don\u2019t like cats, but that\u2019s not my gripe here. I want to know why Jupiter … Continue reading