{"id":260,"date":"2007-03-16T09:02:41","date_gmt":"2007-03-16T13:02:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.summerofjim.com\/2007\/03\/16\/from-caesars-diary\/"},"modified":"2007-03-16T09:02:41","modified_gmt":"2007-03-16T13:02:41","slug":"from-caesars-diary","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/summerofjim.com\/?p=260","title":{"rendered":"From Caesar&#8217;s Diary"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><em>Ides of March <\/em><\/p>\n<p>Dear Diary:<\/p>\n<p>I don&#8217;t feel like going to the Senate today.\u00a0 I think I am going to get a haircut instead.\u00a0 Besides&#8230; it&#8217;s always the same guys&#8230; Cassius, Brutus and that new guy Russell Crowe.\u00a0 Big deal.\u00a0 A bunch of losers.\u00a0 Hey!\u00a0 I&#8217;m the Emperor&#8230; I can do what I want!\u00a0 Fuck the Republic <em>and<\/em> the Senate, too.\u00a0 I don&#8217;t need them!\u00a0 Hah!\u00a0 I&#8217;ll send their sorry asses to the Russian Front!\u00a0 That&#8217;s what I can do.\u00a0 No wine and no women for them&#8230; they can go freeze their kishkes off outside the gates of Moskva.\u00a0 Yeah!\u00a0 That will put an end to their whispers!\u00a0 They think I don&#8217;t know what&#8217;s going on!\u00a0 I&#8217;m Emperor&#8230; I know what&#8217;s going on!\u00a0 Telling lies about me&#8230; making up stories.\u00a0\u00a0Twenty below zero\u00a0(and we&#8217;re talking <em>farenheit <\/em>baby) <strong>and <\/strong>no underwear will put a stop to that.\u00a0 Oh, I can&#8217;t wait&#8230; the hell with a haircut, I am going to march right up to the Senate and put on my best shit-eating grin, &#8220;Brutus!\u00a0 Pack your bags! You have just won an expense paid trip to Siberia!\u00a0 See you in 25 years, pal!&#8221;\u00a0 Being Emperor ain&#8217;t so bad&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Yeah, the Senate&#8230; what a bunch of shit heads!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Ides of March Dear Diary: I don&#8217;t feel like going to the Senate today.\u00a0 I think I am going to get a haircut instead.\u00a0 Besides&#8230; it&#8217;s always the same guys&#8230; Cassius, Brutus and that new guy Russell Crowe.\u00a0 Big deal.\u00a0 &hellip; <a href=\"http:\/\/summerofjim.com\/?p=260\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-260","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-ministry-of-jokes"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/summerofjim.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/260","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/summerofjim.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/summerofjim.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/summerofjim.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/summerofjim.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=260"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/summerofjim.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/260\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/summerofjim.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=260"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/summerofjim.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=260"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/summerofjim.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=260"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}