By and large I keep to myself when I go to the gym.\u00a0 Although I no longer have the running regimen I once had, I still put myself on the treadmill in solitary activity\u2026 oblivious to those around me. <\/p>\n
My post work-out sauna is the one time when I will engage in brief conversation with fellow regulars.\u00a0 But in truth, even there I would prefer to sweat in solitude.<\/p>\n
One of my favorite regulars is Joe Debone.\u00a0 He\u2019s retired, drives a pick-up, has a big Harley for weekend cruising, is an avid hunter\u2026 and his hobby of many years is taxidermy.\u00a0 According to Steve, another regular, who has visited his digs in Norwalk\u2026 his home is a combination of the Museum of Natural History and the hunting lodge of Sven of the Fjords.\u00a0 He stuffs and mounts for other folks, too (his wait list is 6 months long); but everything on display in his \u201ctrophy room\u201d he has bagged.\u00a0 I have not asked if that includes road kill<\/em> on the Merritt Parkway.<\/p>\n I guess you could call Joe a \u201csportsman\u201d.\u00a0 I guess that goes hand-in-hand with being an outdoors man<\/em>\u2026 motorcycles and all\u2026 hunting\u2026 and maybe a bit of fly fishing and camping, too.<\/p>\n My family is no stranger to the outdoor life.\u00a0 I can recall one of my tee shots at Race Brook\u2019s par three second hole coming perilously to the swan peacefully swimming in the pond fronting the green.\u00a0\u00a0 Or joining\u00a0 my Dad on the patio of the Bagshot House in Barbados\u2026 our mission was to acquire a healthy tan.<\/p>\n I could also mention sitting on the 50 yard line for the Yale-Princeton Game in a chilling rain\u2026 but that seems a stretch.<\/p>\n Sure\u2026 sneer if you will.\u00a0 But our family did <\/em>possess a true sportsman.<\/em>\u00a0 Or should I say sportsperson<\/em>?<\/p>\n I don\u2019t think that my Mother would be fussy about the label.\u00a0 She needed no outside\u00a0acknowledgement of her quest to rid Long Island Sound of its weak fish population, nor confirmation for what that quest represented.\u00a0 I\u2019ll be honest\u2026 I think she was looking for a diversion as she pursued her true passion\u2026 acquiring a healthy tan.\u00a0 That, and schmoozing with her fishing partner, Bunty Cohen.<\/p>\n Still, there was the day when I stood at the shore of Erich\u2019s Day Camp in Branford and saw my Mother and Bunty in\u00a0Bunty’s \u201cfishing yacht\u201d (a ten foot row boat with a kick motor) hoisting their recent catch for me to see of some two dozen weak fish between them. I guess my Mother knew how to fish.<\/p>\n It was some years after, Mom got her own yacht <\/em>and still took it down the Mamauguin River to where it empties into the Sound\u2026 and she still sought to reduce the amount of fish in that body of water.\u00a0 Speak to Joe Dubone, or my Mother for that matter\u2026 and there is this strange respect<\/em> for that which they hunt.\u00a0 And maybe for the finest specimens there is a need to honor <\/em>their nature by preserving them.<\/p>\n And what compelled Joe to fill his home with the former lives of animal, birds and fish that he had \u201cexperienced\u201d, moved my Mother to do the same. \u00a0Two<\/em> of her weak fish she took to the staff of Yale\u2019s Peabody Museum to be mounted (she didn\u2019t know of Joe Dubone at the time, and neither did I).<\/p>\n The mounted fish were put on display in the breakfast room of my family\u2019s house on Alston Avenue.\u00a0 There was nothing else in that home that would give even the slightest indication of the outdoor<\/em> tradition of our family.\u00a0 So\u2026 to an outsider it\u00a0might seem out of place.\u00a0 But that\u2019s OK\u2026 to an insider <\/em>it was out of place, too.<\/p>\n And I think of it today\u2026 and say, \u201cMom, you did a helluva job.\u201d<\/p>\n I wonder if she named those two fish?\u00a0 The breakfast room (the \u201ctrophy\u201d room) is where she and Mommie Soph would light the Sabbath candles.\u00a0 A simple and beautiful ritual that has been performed by women for thousands of years.\u00a0 Cover the head,\u00a0circle the candle flame and bring the spirit to your heart, cover the eyes, say the blessing.\u00a0 So, maybe on a Friday Mom would go into the room, prepared to light the candles; but before doing so she says, \u201chello Bert and Ernie\u2026\u201d\u00a0 addressing the fish, that is.\u00a0 Or, \u201chello Abbot and Costello\u2026\u201d or \u201cShabbat shalom <\/em>Rogers and Hammerstein.\u201d<\/p>\n I don\u2019t know if she named the fish.\u00a0 But if it were my Sister Lynn, those fish would certainly have been given names.<\/p>\n And this more a story about my Sister\u00a0than it is about my Mother.<\/p>\n Lynn has a gift.\u00a0 She can identify the spirit <\/em>of something and give it an appropriate title\u2026 <\/em>a name that somehow embodies that object\u2019s essence.\u00a0 Stuffed toys, cars, pets, plants\u2026 you name it and Lynn can find the handle<\/em>.\u00a0 It sounds simple; but it\u2019s not.\u00a0 And somehow a lifeless <\/em>object or a pet becomes infused with a personality and an attitude. And more importantly, our attitude towards the object becomes more respectful.\u00a0 There is a harmonious balance between the object and oursleves.<\/p>\n Identifying what is important in something, what is emblematic, is a process.\u00a0 And I got to witness this process at close quarters.\u00a0 I had just purchased a new car, a Saturn.\u00a0 Although it was my <\/em>car\u2026 it was destined for Suzy\u2019s use.\u00a0 And I think it was Suzy who felt the car needed a name\u2026 and knowing that this was an area of Lynn\u2019s expertise, she was enlisted in choosing an appropriate name.<\/p>\n But before deciding the name, Lynn needed to know more about the nature <\/em>of the car.\u00a0 For example, it could me maternal\u2026 Lynn suggested Mrs. LaPuffsky.<\/em>\u00a0 Or maybe some what flighty or flirtatious\u2026 Lynn suggests Mitzie.\u00a0 <\/em>There was a give and take.\u00a0 Names suggested to Suzy and responses back.\u00a0 Finally a name that seems to fit the character of the car, and blend with the attitude of Suzy: Carmella<\/em>.\u00a0 Or, how it is really pronounced\u2026 Car-Mella.<\/em>\u00a0 Which, in turn, became abbreviated to Carmie.<\/em><\/p>\n And Carmie it is.<\/p>\n My Sister\u00a0is a treasure.\u00a0 It\u2019s like having a shaman <\/em>in your family. <\/p>\n It\u2019s not naming of this stuffed toy, car or pet\u2026 that\u2019s not really that hard.\u00a0 It\u2019s understanding <\/em>the toy, the car or pet\u2026 and our interaction<\/em>.\u00a0 And it is the understanding that sets Lynn apart from most other folks.\u00a0 There is an intuition.\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n An intuition that speaks of her\u00a0appreciation of life.\u00a0 And it is her\u00a0appreciation of life, that I love the most.\u00a0 And while I might not have guessed it right\u2026 I think that Bert and Ernie<\/em> would suit Mom\u2019s weak fish just fine.\u00a0 How Lynn sees it\u2026 well, that just might be another story.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" By and large I keep to myself when I go to the gym.\u00a0 Although I no longer have the running regimen I once had, I still put myself on the treadmill in solitary activity\u2026 oblivious to those around me. My … Continue reading