{February 44B.C.E. Rome} <\/p>\n
ALFIE: Reggie, maybe you ought to look for a different line of work.<\/p>\n
REGGIE: What d’ya mean Owfie?<\/p>\n
ALFIE: I mean that you’re not doin’ too well with this soothsaying<\/em>. I mean you’re not makin’ a livin’ Reggie.<\/p>\n REGGIE: But I’m good! I am better <\/em>than good, Owfie! I can’t ‘elp it if no one listens to me. Besides, what else could I do?<\/p>\n ALFIE: They’re looking for blokes at the baths. <\/em>You could ‘and out towels at the Baths.<\/p>\n REGGIE: I don’t think so… ooops, here’s one comin’ now. \u201cBuy low, sell ‘igh<\/em>.\u201d There, that’s a pretty good sooth! What d’ I tell you Owfie? I’m good!<\/p>\n ALFIE: What’s it mean, Reggie… “buy low, sell ‘igh”?<\/p>\n REGGIE: ‘aven’t the foggiest. That’s not my callin’. I just tell<\/em> the sooths as they come to me.<\/p>\n ALFIE: Callin’?<\/p>\n REGGIE: Yeah… like bein’ a Rabbi.<\/p>\n ALFIE: Gawan, you a Rabbi?<\/p>\n REGGIE: Naught me silly. Besides, you think I got it bad? Those Rabbis ‘ave it worse. They ‘ave a tough time getting’ blokes to be Jews.\u00a0Ya gotta get circumcised.<\/em><\/p>\n ALFIE: Circumcised?<\/p>\n REGGIE: Right!\u00a0 Ya gotta get your dick trimmed! Do you want your dick trimmed Owfie?<\/p>\n ALFIE: No one is touching my dick, Reggie.<\/p>\n REGGIE: See, I ‘eard it said that there’s going to be this new group of Jews startin’ up where they don’t touch your dick.<\/p>\n ALFIE: Well, that wouldn’t be so bad… would it?\u00a0 I mean, it might be OK, seein’ that they don’t touch your dick.<\/p>\n REGGIE:\u00a0Shhhhh,\u00a0I am going to say another sooth, \u201cWalk softly; but carry a big stick<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n ALFIE: I got it Reggie!\u00a0“Big dick”… see?\u00a0 These Jews are never gonna ‘mount to\u00a0nuthin’ if they keep trimmin’ dicks!<\/p>\n REGGIE:\u00a0Stick <\/em>you ninny, not dick<\/em>!\u00a0 Why am I wastin’ all these\u00a0great sooths on you… will you tell me?<\/p>\n ALFIE: Well… I still say you better find a job\u00a0what pays. Why don’t you join the Army? Now there’s a good job. See the world, plenty of adventure, wear great clothes, you get to subdue people,\u00a0spoil the crops, rape and pillage…<\/p>\n REGGIE: Rape? Does it pay well?<\/p>\n ALFIE: Not as well as pillaging; but you make out awright.<\/p>\n REGGIE: Raping? Do you need experience?<\/p>\n ALFIE: I’m not sure Reggie. You might have to work your way up. You know… they\u00a0probably begin you with raping vegetables like eggplants or something, then\u00a0when you get to\u00a0be a Centurion you\u00a0get to ‘ave a go\u00a0with chickens…<\/p>\n REGGIE: I don’t know if the Missus is going to be pleased with that… OK, here’s another sooth… I think it’s from some type of drama…<\/p>\n “Soothsayer: Beware the Ides of March.<\/em><\/p>\n Caesar: What man is that?<\/em><\/p>\n Brutus: A soothsayer bids you beware the Ides of March.<\/em><\/p>\n Caesar: Set him before me; let me see his face.<\/em><\/p>\n Cassius: Fellow, come from the throng; look upon Caesar.<\/em><\/p>\n Caesar: What say’st thou to me now? Speak once again.<\/em><\/p>\n Soothsayer: Beware the Ides of March.<\/em><\/p>\n Caesar: He is a dreamer; let us leave him. Pass.<\/em><\/p>\n {Sennet. Exeunt all but Brutus and Cassius}”<\/em><\/p>\n ALFIE: That sure is a fancy sooth Reggie… and there’s a part in there for you! Although it’s not much of a part. I mean you don’t have many lines: “Beware of the Ides of March”… it probably doesn’t pay a lot. And look… Caesar doesn’t even pay attention to you! \u201cLet us leave him. Pass.\u201d Doesn’t that tell you something? I tell you what it tells you! That\u00a0the job in the baths is looking better and better, that’s what!!<\/p>\n REGGIE: You say chickens, Owfie?<\/p>\n ALFIE: Eggplants first, then chickens. By the by Reggie, what’s \u201cexeunt\u201d mean?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" {February 44B.C.E. Rome} ALFIE: Reggie, maybe you ought to look for a different line of work. REGGIE: What d’ya mean Owfie? ALFIE: I mean that you’re not doin’ too well with this soothsaying. I mean you’re not makin’ a livin’ … Continue reading