{"id":345,"date":"2009-04-10T10:45:33","date_gmt":"2009-04-10T14:45:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.summerofjim.com\/2009\/04\/10\/history-re-visited-what-really-went-down-in-sinai\/"},"modified":"2012-06-14T19:38:52","modified_gmt":"2012-06-14T23:38:52","slug":"history-re-visited-what-really-went-down-in-sinai","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/summerofjim.com\/?p=345","title":{"rendered":"History Re-Visited: What Really Went Down in Sinai"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"cap\" id=\"ContestVoteSubmit1_ContestImage\" style=\"width: 465px; height: 347px; border-width: 0px\" src=\"http:\/\/www.newyorker.com\/images\/2009\/03\/30\/p465\/090330_contest_p465.jpg\" border=\"0\" \/><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><em>MOSES: The Lord has given us the take-out menu to the Manna From Heaven Dumpling and Noodle Shop.\u00a0 How many want eggroll?<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>DATHAN<\/em>:\u00a0 What about the Commandments, Moses?\u00a0 We want Commandments!<\/p>\n<p><em>MOSES<\/em>:\u00a0 You want Commandments?\u00a0\u00a0Are you nuts?\u00a0 OK, I&#8217;ll give you Commandments!\u00a0 First, &#8220;Remember to put down the toilet seat.&#8221; Next, &#8220;Take two pitches and hit to right field.&#8221; Third, &#8220;The sign that says <em>Last Gas for Fifty Miles&#8230; <\/em>believe it!&#8221;\u00a0 Then, &#8220;Look both ways when you cross the street.&#8221;\u00a0 Fifth, &#8220;If you want to find happiness go to Costco, Aisle 3.&#8221;\u00a0 Next, &#8220;After eating you have to wait an hour before you go swimming.&#8221;\u00a0 Seventh, &#8220;The lucky numbers in the fortune cookies aren&#8217;t lucky.\u00a0 Let that be lesson to you!&#8221;\u00a0 Eighth, &#8220;I before E, except after C&#8230; or is it the other way around?\u00a0 Oh, just do your best. &#8221;\u00a0 That&#8217;s enough with Commandments, just treat everybody as you would like to be treated, and we&#8217;ll be fine.\u00a0 Now&#8230; how many want eggroll?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u00a0 MOSES: The Lord has given us the take-out menu to the Manna From Heaven Dumpling and Noodle Shop.\u00a0 How many want eggroll? DATHAN:\u00a0 What about the Commandments, Moses?\u00a0 We want Commandments! MOSES:\u00a0 You want Commandments?\u00a0\u00a0Are you nuts?\u00a0 OK, I&#8217;ll &hellip; <a href=\"http:\/\/summerofjim.com\/?p=345\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-345","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-history"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/summerofjim.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/345","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/summerofjim.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/summerofjim.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/summerofjim.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/summerofjim.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=345"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/summerofjim.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/345\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":998,"href":"http:\/\/summerofjim.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/345\/revisions\/998"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/summerofjim.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=345"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/summerofjim.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=345"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/summerofjim.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=345"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}