{"id":346,"date":"2009-05-13T07:58:35","date_gmt":"2009-05-13T11:58:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.summerofjim.com\/2009\/05\/13\/the-incarceration-of-penelope-whistle-smythe\/"},"modified":"2009-05-13T08:03:33","modified_gmt":"2009-05-13T12:03:33","slug":"the-incarceration-of-penelope-whistle-smythe","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/summerofjim.com\/?p=346","title":{"rendered":"The Incarceration of Penelope Whistle-Smythe"},"content":{"rendered":"

You know… I’m still giggling over this.\u00a0 It’s just a matter of time when they will have a day, week or month given over to celebrating\u00a0every\u00a0something or other <\/em>known to mankind.\u00a0 <\/em>And then… as a natural extension, some wayward locale will hold a festival <\/em>honoring the something or other <\/em>like… like?\u00a0 The Garlic Festival in Gilroy, CA!\u00a0\u00a0Or the Marshmallow Festival in Ligonier, IN!\u00a0 And maybe there\u00a0will even be an associated Hall of Fame!\u00a0 I just shake my head, can you imagine: The C.P.A. Hall of Fame and Gift Shop (I hope I can find a parking space<\/em>… OK kids, I want everyone go to the bathroom now<\/u>, then remember, we’re going thru the exhibits first, don’t touch anything, no shouting or pushing, then if you behave<\/em>, we can go to the gift shop<\/em>).\u00a0 <\/p>\n

What would intelligent life from another planet think about this? Do you see why I’m giggling?\u00a0 Oh, no… not about the C.P.A Hall of Fame… I just made that up.\u00a0 But about the Marshmallow Festival in Ligonier, Indiana which I am not <\/em>making up!<\/p>\n

Sure… if you have nothing planned on Labor Day Weekend, why not head over to Ligonier and take in the festivities honoring the greatness of the marshmallow.\u00a0 <\/em>Be forewarned, however, there is a prohibition against pets, roller blades, roller skates and skateboards in the festival areas! Significantly, there is no <\/em>prohibition\u00a0against 79 year old women wielding 8 litre galvanized Haws watering cans.\u00a0 A detail that caught Etienne Lartigue off guard.<\/p>\n

Let’s consider the central item of worship in Ligonier: the marshmallow.\u00a0 It’s origin is not clear.\u00a0 But they have been around since the mid 19th Century with commercial brands being made\u00a0in the 1890s.\u00a0 For the record… stems of the marsh mallow <\/em>plant were peeled to their soft spongy pith.\u00a0 The pith was then boiled in a sugar syrup and dried to produce a soft chewy confection that was then cut into sections, rolled in a combination of corn starch and confectioners sugar… voila<\/em>: the marshmallow we know and love.<\/p>\n

From its humble beginnings it moved on to mass production (gelatin replacing the plant)\u00a0and its use in mallomars, Rice Krispie treats, s’mores, Marshmallow Fluff, and of course as that cookout and campfire staple — the toasted marshmallow.\u00a0 <\/em>Of the latter, there are two schools of preparation: the softly-toasted-to-a-light-golden-brown<\/em> and the flame-and-burned-to-a-charred-crisp.<\/em><\/p>\n

The joy of the marshmallow is not confined to the campgrounds and backyards of America.\u00a0 It was already well established in County Shropshire, England by 1929 when Penelope Whistle-Smythe came into this world.\u00a0 It would be seven years before Penelope would have what she described as “a defining moment in my life.”<\/p>\n

On a warm July day in 1936, Penelope’s extended family went on an\u00a0outing to the River Severn, not far from her Oswestry home.\u00a0 The children of the family went off\u00a0from their parents to enjoy independent fun and games.\u00a0 Penelope, the youngest of the children,\u00a0was given over to her teenaged cousin Richard, eldest of the children, and by all accounts, the ringleader <\/em>of the troop.\u00a0 It was he who came up with the idea of making a campfire in the protected glen close to the river.\u00a0 It was he who produced a handsome bag of fresh marshmallows.\u00a0 And it was he who sent all his younger charges out looking for appropriate sticks for use in roasting the\u00a0marshmallows.\u00a0 The kids, including Penelope, set out to the River with its stand of white birch trees, that area being deemed as an ideal location for sticks and twigs.<\/p>\n

Why it took Penelope longer to find a stick, we can’t really say.\u00a0 Maybe she kept rejecting candidates because they were not of acceptable length, or maybe one that was long enough didn’t have a proper bend?\u00a0 Regardless, when she finally selected one she returned to the glen to find her cousins already deeply involved in scarfing down the sticky toasted marshmallows.<\/p>\n

What transpired next would cast an imprint in the mind of young Penelope… it would remain with her for the rest of her life.\u00a0 She began to complain bitterly to her cousins that they should have waited for her to return.\u00a0She\u00a0cried that there wouldn’t be any marshmallows left for her!\u00a0She called them rude, selfish and\u00a0ill-behaved.\u00a0 The cousins did not\u00a0take well to\u00a0being dressed down by the youngest and smallest of their number!\u00a0 If they wanted to be lectured about behavior they would have remained with their parents!<\/p>\n

Richard would have none of it.\u00a0 He took things into hand.\u00a0 He looked at his cooking stick, racked with four marshmallows burned to a crisp.\u00a0 Determined that they were sufficiently cooled, he slipped the blackened marshmallows from the stick, examined them for their consistency… satisfied, he took the m\u00e9lange and rubbed them into Penelope’s hair.<\/p>\n

On cue, the other cousins removed their cooked marshmallows… golden browns and burnt crisps… and mashed their gooey contents into the crying Penelope’s hair, face and arms.\u00a0 It’s a cruel world.\u00a0 Kids know how to take unfair advantage of a situation.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

Eight years later, Richard, Penelope’s protector<\/em>, would make the supreme sacrifice <\/em>during the Battle of the Falaise Pocket.\u00a0 If Penelope had remorse for the loss of her cousin, she never showed it.\u00a0 Who can blame her?\u00a0 Although years later while addressing the Annual Meeting of the Shrewsbury Chapter of the Society For The Prevention Of Cruelty To Confections, she stated, “I owe my commitment and love, <\/em>to this noble cause to my dearly departed cousin, Richard.”<\/p>\n

Yes, Penelope Whistle-Smythe had found her calling.\u00a0 If she caught wind that there was to be a taffy pull<\/em> on the Isle of Wight she’d be there!\u00a0 Placards and umbrella in hand… and she wouldn’t think twice about whacking a contestant on the noggin, and finishing it off with a\u00a0“that will teach you… you perfect beast<\/em>!”<\/p>\n

And with the\u00a0arrival of the internet and its “information highway”, Penelope was no longer bound to local\u00a0news and events.\u00a0 She\u00a0could go\u00a0global.\u00a0 <\/em>And she did.<\/p>\n

While the “defining moment” in Penelope’s life is clear, the defining moment for Etienne Lartigue is less so.\u00a0 I suppose you could say that it was May 2, 1980 — the day of his birth.\u00a0 The day when the results of the unique joining of genetic matter of Claudine and Henri Lartigue produced a healthy baby boy who was destined to reach the mere height of 5’… although that might not have been evident on that Friday in 1980.<\/p>\n

There are far worse things in life than being painfully short.\u00a0 But tell that to a boy who was the shortest person, boy or girl<\/em>,\u00a0at every grade level in school.\u00a0 Tell that to a boy who had no athletic skills.\u00a0 No chance for him to be a demon of speed on the soccer pitch.\u00a0 Nor was he academically gifted.\u00a0 When Etienne came of age he narrowed the paths for self esteem to just two: become a high stakes jockey or join\u00a0a circus.<\/p>\n

He hated horses.\u00a0 <\/p>\n

One day, with little ceremony, he left his childhood home in Cherbourg and headed to the touring Cirque Medrano.\u00a0 His first assignment was helping with the care of Camela… one of the\u00a0famous Medrano Elephants.\u00a0 This didn’t last long… Etienne liked elephants even less than horses.\u00a0 And further, the owners feared that one of the elephants would eventually crush him.<\/p>\n

The owners tried putting him into some of the other acts.\u00a0 But he was too tall to be a clown midget, he couldn’t juggle worth a damn… but he began to have success with some of the aerial acts, and some of the stunt motorcycle routines… then a motor cycle on the high wire number.\u00a0 And finally a stint as the human cannonball.\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

The crowds loved him! Etienne Le Courageux!!<\/p>\n

Etienne had found his<\/em> calling.\u00a0 It was the going for the\u00a0thrill.<\/em>\u00a0 It was doing something, anything,\u00a0that surpassed his diminutive height.\u00a0 And he set his course to the pursuit of enterprises that would demonstrate his ability to overcome physical or emotional challenges.\u00a0 And it wasn’t long before he left Cirque Medrano, its elephants and adoring crowds for the uncharted territory of the bizarre.<\/em><\/p>\n

He would scale the imposing facade of the ADIA Tower in Abu Dhabi, bungee jump from a hovering helicopter over the Victoria Falls and shinny up the Gateway Arch in St. Louis.\u00a0 Etienne Le Courageux!\u00a0 The film crews followed him everywhere.\u00a0 Oh, look!\u00a0 There is Etienne swimming off the Barrier Reef… I hope a Great White doesn’t get him!<\/em><\/p>\n

It is unclear whether the organizers of the Marshmallow Festival spawned the idea, or whether it was something that Etienne cooked up… but the Labor Day weekend of 2008 found the dare devil putting the final touches to his planned jump to take place on Sunday.<\/p>\n

Lartigue had selected the First Bank Building on West Jefferson Blvd as the best location for his planned jump.\u00a0He had constructed a platform block of marshmallows 10′ X 15′ to a depth of 8′ on the sidewalk next to the bank building… the idea being that the marshmallows would adequately cushion his fall from the four story precipice.\u00a0 Or so the organizers and Etienne had hoped.<\/p>\n

Etienne had actually\u00a0looked for a taller building.\u00a0 But this was Ligonier.<\/p>\n

Lacking a building of greater height, Etienne decided to add interest to the fall by\u00a0holding on to\u00a0an anvil to speed his descent.\u00a0 As far as the anvil was concerned, it wasn’t a matter of strength… Etienne was as strong as an ox, albeit a small one.\u00a0 Still, one could question whether is was necessary to take on the added risk.<\/p>\n

At the appointed hour of 3:00PM on Sunday, before a crowd of five hundred or so interested citizens (and a film crew), Etienne took his leap into the awaiting bed of marshmallows.\u00a0 Later he admitted that he should have let go of the anvil in midflight. As it developed, clutching on to the heavy weight\u00a0caused some collateral damage to his private parts when he\u00a0crashed into the marshmallow block.\u00a0 And when he emerged from the marshmallow encasement, in pain, gasping for air, chunks of marshmallow clinging to his face\u00a0he was met by Penelope Whistle-Smythe.<\/p>\n

Penelope was\u00a0being escorted\u00a0from the festival grounds.\u00a0 She was asked to leave after she barged her way thru to the Cub Scout Pavilion… the scouts were busy toasting marshmallows over an open campfire for the benefit of the hungry throng.\u00a0 Penelope, armed with her favorite Haws watering can, had taken it upon herself to put an end to this dastardly rite (as she referred to it), and she calmly, but firmly, doused the flame to its death.\u00a0 Satisfied that she had taken care of the fire, she glared at the boys, “Be off with you… you nasty beasts!<\/em>“<\/p>\n

Civil disobedient, maybe.\u00a0 But Penelope was not one to give undue problems to the authorities.\u00a0 She felt that she had made her point, “marshmallows will be forever identified as the Joan of Arc of confections!”.<\/em>\u00a0 Time to leave.\u00a0 But when she caught sight of the spectacle that was attending to the dare devil’s plunge into a bed of marshmallows, she had to pause.<\/p>\n

Aghast at the hoopla and fanfare, she could not contain her displeasure and anger.\u00a0 And when Etienne staggered from the\u00a0marshmallow heap, obviously in distress, clutching at his pride and joy<\/em>, Penelope thought not twice as she approached him and purposefully slammed her Haws watering can into the side of his head, knocking\u00a0the Frenchman unconscious\u00a0to the ground.\u00a0 She looked defiantly at the fallen Lartigue, “Serves\u00a0him right!”<\/p>\n

Etienne recovered… eventually.\u00a0 <\/em>Penelope Whistle-Smythe was sent to the hoosegow for an overnight.\u00a0 “I go willingly to your gaol… a small inconvenience for publicizing the brutality of this ungodly Festival!”<\/p>\n

(September 1) The peaceful activities of the Marshmallow Festival in Ligonier were disrupted on Sunday\u00a0when an elderly woman from <\/em>Shropshire<\/em>, <\/em>England<\/em> beat the renowned French Dare Devil Etienne Lartigue on the head\u00a0with a galvanized watering can. Mr. Lartigue is not pressing charges.\u00a0 Ms. Whistle-Smythe, as she was\u00a0taken from the festival grounds, was heard to claim, “that man was a perfect beast.”\u00a0 After spending a day in jail on the charges of disorderly conduct, Ms. Whistle-Smythe was released on her own recognizance and her pledge to appear before the\u00a0<\/em>County<\/em> <\/em>Judge<\/em> on\u00a0September 17. — The <\/em>Elkhart<\/em> Truth<\/em><\/p>\n

OK… call me cruel.\u00a0 I’m still giggling over all this.\u00a0 I had penciled in the Marshmallow Festival for this Labor Day Weekend… sounds too good to miss.\u00a0 But alas, my nephew is getting married over the weekend.\u00a0 Maybe I’ll bring some marshmallows…<\/p>\n

\"File:RoastingMarshmallow.jpg\"<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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