{"id":759,"date":"2012-03-15T18:21:51","date_gmt":"2012-03-15T22:21:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.summerofjim.com\/?p=759"},"modified":"2012-06-14T19:33:06","modified_gmt":"2012-06-14T23:33:06","slug":"these-are-the-facts","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/summerofjim.com\/?p=759","title":{"rendered":"These Are The Facts!"},"content":{"rendered":"

FACT: Gaius Julius Caesar was murdered on March 15, 44 BCE\u2026 the\u00a0Ides of March<\/em>.<\/p>\n

FACT: Caesar was forewarned about his impending doom by a\u00a0soothsayer<\/em>.<\/p>\n

FACT:\u00a0\u00a0The soothsayer did not have a union card. <\/p>\n

FACT:\u00a0\u00a0The soothsayer did not have a valid permit and tax stamp that would allow him to\u00a0sooth<\/em>\u00a0within\u00a0Rome\u2019s city limits.<\/p>\n

SIDEBAR OBSERVATION: Caesar\u2019s lack of precaution is perfectly understandable. Why would Caesar heed the warning from someone who did not have a valid license to practice his craft in\u00a0Rome?<\/p>\n

FACT: Caesar was feared and hated by the nobility and Senators of\u00a0Rome\u00a0(calling to mind the plight of Captain Alfred Dreyfus).<\/p>\n

FACT:\u00a0\u00a0Caesar wouldn\u2019t eat a ham sandwich, and he did not ride in a chariot on Saturday\u2019s.<\/p>\n

FACT:\u00a0\u00a0Caesar\u2019s father was a money lender.<\/p>\n

FACT:\u00a0\u00a0Caesar\u2019s birth name\u2026 Goniff Julius Kaiserwitz<\/p>\n

FACT:\u00a0\u00a0Caesar was bald and had a big nose.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

FACT:\u00a0\u00a0Although guilty of megalomania, Caesar\u2019s murder was a \u201chate crime\u201d perpetrated by a cabal of loyalist anti-Semites who carried out their murderous activities after learning of Caesar\u2019s true Jewish heritage (calling to mind the plight of Julius Rosenberg).<\/p>\n

These are the Facts!<\/em><\/p>\n

A preview of the next installment of \u201cThese Are the Facts!\u201d<\/p>\n

FACT: The name on Barack Obama\u2019s birth certificate: Benjamin Abramson (as if we couldn\u2019t have guessed!)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

FACT: Gaius Julius Caesar was murdered on March 15, 44 BCE\u2026 the\u00a0Ides of March. FACT: Caesar was forewarned about his impending doom by a\u00a0soothsayer. FACT:\u00a0\u00a0The soothsayer did not have a union card. FACT:\u00a0\u00a0The soothsayer did not have a valid permit … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-759","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-ministry-of-jokes"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/summerofjim.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/759","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/summerofjim.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/summerofjim.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/summerofjim.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/summerofjim.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=759"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"http:\/\/summerofjim.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/759\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":990,"href":"http:\/\/summerofjim.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/759\/revisions\/990"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/summerofjim.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=759"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/summerofjim.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=759"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/summerofjim.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=759"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}