On a day that I was thinking about, our friend Rabbit found himself in a fit of worry and agitation. He paced the greeting spot of his well tended home that was comfortably tucked into a corner of 100 Acre Wood. Now Rabbit was by nature a worrying sort of rabbit, it was just that on this day he was expecting a visit from his Tax Attorney, Edward Bear, who would also be known as Winnie the Pooh, and sometimes Pooh Bear; and that increased Rabbit’s sense of worry and agitation.
As Tax Day neared it always brought an air of joy for Winnie the Pooh because it gave him the chance to visit all of his friends in 100 Acre Wood, help them file their returns and stay for perhaps a light snack. Briefcase in hand, as Pooh Bear neared Rabbit’s Howse he launched into one of his favorite hums:
It’s such a grand ol’ day
And someone has to pay
And pay all day on such
A grand ol’ day
tump-tiddie-day, tump-tiddie-day
Meanwhile, Rabbit scurried around his abode hiding away his recently harvested vegetables. “Oh dear, dear! I think I hear him outside!” the nervous Rabbit said to himself.
“Halloooo Rabbit!” Pooh called out.
“Wh-wh-who is it?” Rabbit trembled.
“I think it is me”, answered Winnie the Pooh.
“Is that y-y-you Pooh Bear?” Rabbit asked, after he finished storing away his prize cabbage.
“It is if you say so Rabbit!” Pooh happily replied, and with no further encouragement Pooh Bear entered thru Rabbit’s front door, although there was no door to speak of.
“Er, hello Pooh Bear – it’s so n-n-nice to see you again, I think. It’s that time of the year, I suppose…” Rabbit nervously observed.
“You must be referring to T-A-X time Rabbit, and you must be right because I brought my brief case, and I only bring my brief case when it’s that time of the year! Oh, bother!”
“Is there something wrong Pooh Bear? Did you forget something?” Rabbit asked, thinking that his return might be a matter of difficulty.
“Well, Rabbit…” And Pooh Bear wandered over to Rabbit’s cupboard, “I am glad you asked. It’s a smallish matter really. You see, I feel a distinct rumbly in my tummy and I was thinking that I might enjoy a smackerl of something to eat.”
And before Rabbit could say “oh, dear”, Pooh Bear was in the cupboard peering into each stored jar and moving this and that. And while he surveyed the contents of Rabbit’s larder, Pooh Bear quietly hummed:
There’s a rumbly in my tummy
And I know it, and I know it
Eat a carrot, munch an onion
And you fix it, and you fix it
There’s a rumbly in my tummy
Pooh will fix it, Pooh will fix it!
It only took Pooh Bear a few minutes to collect all manner of vegetables which he then dutifully presented to the unbelieving Rabbit, “Why Rabbit, look what I found! A few ribs of celery, two bulbs of fennel, a bunch of heirloom carrots, a head of romaine, 3 Vidalia onions, some beautiful turnips, six beef steak tomatoes, lovely radishes and an exceptional cabbage!”
“My cabbage! B-b-b-but…”
“Nonsense Rabbit. These are perfect for you to make into a very tasty snack! While you stir-fry, I will find us something to wet our whistles!” And Pooh Bear went to the pantry where Rabbit stored his beverages.
“Oh, d-d-d-dear” the worried Rabbit stammered, and he proceeded to rinse, pat dry, chop and begin stir-frying the entire contents of his cupboard, including his prize cabbage.
Pooh Bear shuffled thru the bottles in the pantry, “Maybe a nice Chardonnay Rabbit?”
“Ch-ch-ch-Chardonnay? Oh, that would be fine Pooh Bear… I think.”
“Why Rabbit! You have a Corton-Charlemagne from Burgundy!” And before Rabbit could offer an objection, the sound of a popping cork could be heard and Pooh Bear emerged from the pantry with the opened bottle of Grand Cru and two good sized glasses and he joyfully began his I Love Burgundy Hum…
B-U-R-G-undie, undie!
I love it, I love it!
With fish cakes and rice
It’s so nice…
And Pooh stopped his hum, “Oh, bother! Rabbit, we’re not having fish cakes and rice and I don’t think I can fit V-E-G-table stir-fry into my hum!”
Rabbit called a temporary halt to his cooking, “Pooh Bear, if you’re disappointed about the fish cakes and rice, I can put these vegetables away and perhaps we could look at my t-t-t-tax return?”
“Nonsense Rabbit! The stir-fry smells deeee-lish-usssss! And besides, it will be so good to have with this deeee-lish-usssss C-O-R-T-O-N Charlemagne! Oh, bother!”
“Now what is it Pooh Bear?”
“I seemed to have finished off this bottle of Burgundy all by myself! But no fear Rabbit, I espied another bottle hiding in your pantry behind a dusty bottle of some dumb Chardonnay!”
Rabbit ran to block Pooh Bear’s path to the pantry; but he was two steps too late… “W-w-w-wait Pooh Bear!!” But before Rabbit could get out another word, the tell tale sound of a popping cork told Rabbit that his last bottle of Grand Cru Corton-Charlemagne had been opened! Poor Rabbit had to resign himself to the situation, and he set to putting out modest plates of vegetable stir-fry on the dinning room table.
“This is a very fine snack, Rabbit. Although I find the portion size to be on the S-K-I-M-P-Y side.” And with this, Pooh Bear wandered back to the kitchen and helped himself to all that remained of the vegetable stir-fry. “This is just what I needed to go with my Burgundy,” and with perfect efficiency Pooh Bear finished off all that remained of the Burgundy… making the wine and the stir-fry come out even. “There! Deeee-lish-usssss! Why Rabbit… you didn’t get to taste any Corton-Charlemagne!”
“I n-n-n-noticed,” was all that the worried Rabbit could say.
And Winnie the Pooh placed his napkin back neatly on the table, stood up, patted his full tummy, took his brief case and walked to the front door, which was really not a door, and announced, “Thank you Rabbit! I’m off to Kanga’s home! She makes exceptional pot-stickers and she has an admirable Châteauneuf du Pape!”
“B-b-b-b-but Pooh Bear….”
“TTFN Rabbit!!” And our stalwart Edward Bear, the most acclaimed Tax Attorney in all of 100 Acre Wood, marched off, brief case in hand, in the direction of Kanga and Roo’s place… and he picked up his favorite hum:
It’s such a grand ol’ day
And someone has to pay
And pay all day on such
A grand ol’ day
tump-tiddie-day, tump-tiddie-day