Displays

The next time you see Lance Heartthrob at the bar, hair carefully coifed, teeth gleaming white into a fixed grin, open collared shirt revealing a touch of manly hair, sipping a dirty martini… don’t think unkindly of him… he is not that unique in the animal world… he is merely involved in a form of display.

Typically animals use display in courtship or as a threat. That in itself can lead some embarrassing situations and understandable confusion.

We are all too familiar with a Tom Turkey or a Peacock fanning its tail when trying to impress the ladies. Hard to resist that.

Male bulls like to pee in the dirt and then roll in it. I’ve tried that… it didn’t work for me (although one time a Guernsey did wave her tail at me. She was either swatting a fly, or it was a “come on”).

You can’t miss a Pigeon on the prowl. It puffs out it’s chest, bobs its head continually, executes several deep bows & pivots in circles first to the left and then to the right. I’ve tried this, too. First I got dizzy, then nauseous… then I threw up. This turned into a display of a different sort… not quite a threat (which will be discussed shortly); but certainly not what I had intended. Well… it works for Pigeons real good that’s for sure.

Male hogs love to nuzzle their snouts around the rumps of females, they make a few sounds of appreciation (not a grunt, that comes later). Lance Heartthrob tried that at Ash Creek Saloon the other night… they say that once the swelling goes down he should have nearly full vision restored to his right eye.

Threat displays are of a territorial nature. It’s the way for males to establish their dominance over their peers without resorting to a death battle. This is my ‘hood!

displays are of a territorial nature. It’s the way for males to establish their dominance over their peers without resorting to a death battle. This is ‘hood!

The Rhode Island Red that is strutting his stuff crowing at all times of the day puts other roosters on notice to stay clear of this here coop!

Approach a high mountain meadow in the spring time and the crack you hear is not a rifle shot. It’s the sound of two Big Horn Sheep smashing their heads together after taking a twenty yard run at each other (that’s not even legal in the NFL any more).

A 500lb Lowland Silver Back Gorilla standing up and beating his chest serves the dual purpose of keeping other fellas from mooching in on his turf… and at the same time it advises the women folk that “the laundry better be done and dinner on the table!”

Here are a few other displays that you may not be as familiar with.

The Sumatran Pygmy Lemur engages in an ambitious exhibition of swinging from vine to vine, a series of back flips, to a flyaway double summie before sticking a landing. All done to the adoring eyes of the ladies of appropriate age.

The Slow Loris will spend two years locating an appropriate nesting site. Then he will spend another two years (sometimes longer) selecting the right material for the nest before carefully assembling it. The nest might go under several modifications before completion. This impressive display does not go unnoticed by the area females who will evaluate a male’s suitability by the quality of the nest. Many males will die before having an opportunity to mate.

The Rough Coated Felix has a musk gland that emits a concentrated scent that is so potent that it completely disables the central nervous system of nearby females (whether they like it or not). Not exactly courtly behavior, I grant you… but there you go… it’s the animal world!

Roure of France has synthesized this scent for a cologne; but few females have found the fragrance, described as a cross between a can of Hormel Chili and a bucket of vomit, as attractive (of course that didn’t stop our Lance Heartthrob from splashing a liberal amount on his face).

The Ruby Throated Hummingbird has the most aggressive display in the animal kingdom. During the mating season male Rubies turn their long bills from their task of extracting nectar from flowers, to jabbing their rivals repeatedly and without remorse. And unique to the Rubies this behavior is extended beyond their species. They will bring a merciless attack to anything that flies, earning it the reputation of being the “Great White Shark of the Air”. Famed naturalist Charles Darwin once witnessed a Ruby bringing down a Condor… he wrote in his notes, “The Ruby must have done this just for the hell of it.”

Well… we’re all animals of one sort or another aren’t we? In abstract not all that different. Lance Heartthrob? He can’t help himself.

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