National Groundhog’s Day

Look at our calendar.  It’s filled with “holidays” that are flawed in one way or another… and I think it is sapping our National strength.

First… let’s define a holiday.  A “proper” holiday is a day when banks are closed, National, State & Local Government agencies are closed, the financial markets are closed, schools are closed… and (this is important) people over 21 have the day off

Second… there are not enough proper holidays in the calendar.  And, as noted above, too many of our holidays are built on fundamentally weak frameworks.

All those holidays based on religion are at root horrible.  The sweep of history is filled with violence carried out in the name of religious beliefs.  And so we declare a day a joyous occasion… we decorate, we toast, we cheer, we celebrate, exchange gifts perhaps, we say thanks… and for those who don’t follow our precepts we will burn at the stake.

Then we have holidays based on war and its aftermath.

Or “holidays” that are product of the very powerful FTD Florist/Hallmark Card/Godiva Chocolate lobby, turning beautiful sentiment into a contrived exercise.

Even a neutral holiday like “Labor Day” has its problems.  Once a signal to the end of Summer & Summer vacation, it is now in most parts of the country an interuption in the regular school calendar.  Its connection to “labor” is largely lost… and when the rest of the European connected world celebrates labor on May Day, we let our paranoia for socialism show below our hem and run for cover.

And let’s take a closer look at Thanksgiving… an American holiday… our holiday.  Don’t forget that the celebration is built on a Puritan background.  You remember the Puritans and the Pilgrims?  Hey… you get caught looking up a dress and you were punished… severely punished.  No stern talking to, or a slap in the face… you were put into stocks or a ducking stool.  No wonder we were a supressed people. 

Then the Native Americans teach us how to eat lobster with sweet corn and make a clam bake… and how do we say thank you? How do we repay them?  We give them small pox.

And then we buy Manhattan for $26 (after rejecting New Jersey for $4.38… as it was written, “we were offer’d the lands & rivers of The Jersee; but it smelled of swine & foul oil).

So let’s raise a glass, stuff ourselves on turkeys that have been raised in cruelty and give thanks… and pray that the Detroit Lions produce a competitive football team for a change.

400 years after the fact, the Mashantucket Pequots are saying thanks… from their casinos.

A tad hypocritical, no?

I think it is clear that we need some quality holidays… celebrations not based in death & discrimination. Holidays without political attachment.  Holidays that do not promote over-indulgence.  A day that has no “sales days”.  A day where there is no need for cards, flowers or candy.

I know what you’re thinking… “that doesn’t leave alot.”

Well my friends… I am here to tell you that there is a day at hand… ripe for the picking.

The origin of Groundhog’s Day goes back to the Celts of Germany and France circa fifth century.  It was beleived that animals had supernatural powers that came into play on certain days or times of the year.  On the cross-quarter day (the day that is half way between the Winter Solstice and the Vernal Equinox), marmots and bears emerging from their winter dens would beat a hasty retreat if they saw their shadow… and there would be six more weeks of winter.  Cross-quarter day: February 2nd.

Early Christians called this Candlemas Day, or Hedgehog Day.

Earliest reference to this day in America can be found in the diary Berks County, PA storekeeper James Morris… his entry for February 4, 1841: “Last Tuesday, the 2nd was Candlemas day, the day on which, according to the Germans, the Groundhog {a large member of the marmot family} peeps out of his winter quarters and if he sees his shadow he pops back for another six weeks nap, but if the day be cloudy he remains out, as the weather is to be moderate.”

Well… there you are.  Simple enough.  It’s a grand day! Totally fun!  We don’t kill the little beast and eat him… we just watch him!  How good is this?

No songs.  No baked goods.  No cards. No post-holiday blues!  The perfect Holiday!

Well… almost a perfect Holiday.  We just have to elevate the day to National Status.  To take it beyond the borders of Punxsutawney, PA (home to the famous Groundhog, Punxsutawney Phil). 

We have to close government offices, close the banks, close the schools, close the financial markets… and then most important… a day off for everyone over 21.

I can see the fibre of this Country being restored already.

And now that we have that settled… we can move on to New National Holiday #2: “The Monday After Super Bowl Holiday.”

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