First, I am not keen on this Father’s Day stuff. It is an arbitrary day (and in this case, a supplement to the earlier creation of Mother’s Day… itself another arbitrary day); and Father’s Day has become a spring board for commercial opportunity.
Thank you Hallmark Cards; thank you Father’s Day sales, thank you restaurants with special brunches.
But make no mistake… it is an arbitrary day. As far as I am concerned, if we are going to have a day for Fathers, I think it should be the Monday after Super Bowl… and that day should be a day off for all Fathers regardless of station.
OK… pick the day: the third Sunday in June or the Monday after the Super Bowl… what of the other 364 days of the year? Do we cease being proud Fathers of our children? Do we cease being Sons and Daughters following the path of our Fathers?
Second, I miss my Father. I think of him often, and luckily for me, he still visits, from time to time, in my dreams. There are nano-seconds when I first arise in the morning when I think he is still here… and not on the “other side of the river” as he has been these past twenty-two years.
Still, yesterday — being the “declared” Father’s Day — it was nice to associate the final round of the U.S. Open with all the marvelous Sundays that Dad, Paul and I played golf together.
I have never let my memory exaggerate how good I was at the game. Nor will I let my memory underestimate the joy I had in playing the course at Race Brook with Paul and Dad.
I haven’t played that course in 33 years, yet I can draw its layout off by heart. I have played just one round of golf in the past 33 years (at Shorehaven in Norwalk), and to be honest, I miss it not.
But I do miss Dad… and every time I pull for Tiger Woods’ success on Final Round Sundays, I think of my Dad and the fun we had playing the game. Yesterday was another Sunday where Tiger was in the “hunt”. I didn’t get to watch him play; but it didn’t matter. I knew he was there and I knew that Dad was probably lying on the couch watching some & sleeping some. Good for you Dad!
Third, being a Dad is a life’s treat. I pray that Zack will experience it, too. When I think back to my kids when they were little, smiles just flood my soul. Then I reflect to times when they went thru the “vexing” stage, and I scratch my head… “how did we survive?” But the sweetness I feel today as I see Zack, Shaina and Suzy maturing as adults is better yet.
There is a part of me that will always see them as little again, and there is a part that will deal with vexing issues that still exist, or will exist down the road. But I guess what I value most today, is that with each of my children, I feel safe in sharing how I feel. And I think they feel the same in return.
I no longer feel the need of projecting invincibility… or of living up to standards established by others.
I am not perfect. I’m no angel. I make mistakes. I can make bad decisions. Sometimes I can hurt someone’s feelings, even when I love them.
So… call it “letting your hair down”. I thank the good Lord I feel so comfortable with my children… that I can share not just my laughs; but also my tears… things that give be unbounded joy, things that make me despair… and everything in between.
I look for their ideas and their opinion. But more than anything it is their trust that I value.
Yes, I love sharing the full range of emotion that is a part of us all.
And part of the emotion is pride. I don’t need an arbitrary day of the year to give me that. It fills my breast every day… even on the dismal days.
So there it is. A day when the “powers that be” compel us what to think on Father’s Day… and yes, I admit, I think of it, too (in spite of the earlier impressions I may have given you).
But then again, on any day of the year, I never forget that I am a Son & that I am a Father.
How lucky is that?
How beautiful this is!