Hand-Me-Ups

A year ago I acquired a shirt from Zack… he had either tired if it, or perhaps felt that it was inappropriate for wear on the West side of the Hudson. I have fully adopted the shirt into my sparse wardrobe. I love getting stuff from my kids.

And now I am on the cusp of taking ownership of an artifact of even greater significance.

Shaina is a week away from heading back to Keene, NH to take her career pursuit to its next level.

Earlier this spring she bought her first car. A brand spanking new Red Jeep. I had thought that her first car was going to be a VW Beetle (Yellow, if I recall). But the day she drove her Jeep onto Grapes’ Lido, I could see the pride in her eyes. Pride at being able to buy any car in the first place; but more… owning a car that is emblematic of her persona.

And the car fit her. Shaina is big of heart & soul; but small of stature. And the Jeep sits up fairly high, a real plus for Shaina. Sorta like the automotive equivalent of wearing high heels.

I got the loan of the Jeep on Saturday. What a gas. Six speed, open to the air and more stable than I expected on country turns.

This morning’s ride down from Woodbury was a particularly good ride. I was on the road a few minutes before 5:00AM. The sky was dark enough to still see the stars. When I got to Toddy Hill in Newtown I had a sliver of the moon on my left to the East, and Venus, the Morning Star, clearly below the moon. I had already picked out the “Kap Key”, otherwise known as Orion’s Belt, from among the remaining stars… If I had seen the North Star that would have completed my knowledge of the Heavens. What a morning.

I had forgotten how much fun it is to drive with the “top down” in the dark. As I made my way thru the s-curves on Toddy Hill I remembered driving the MG on Racebrook Rd heading towards Woodmont or in the other direction over to Gary’s.

Yeah, this is good car for Shaina… plenty of character and pluck to match Shaina’s. As I say, it is a good fit.

And now that she is heading back North she had a surplus of cars in inventory. When she was an undergraduate she had acquired a Subaru Outback from Grandpa Bill. In many ways that car also suited her (but not like the Jeep does). But the Subaru has remained in her backyard collecting leaves.

Lucky for me. My porsche lasted barely a year. It’s dead on the Lido as we speak. Vinnie, my mechanic on retainer, gave me the bad news… there was some belt that needed replacing… the part itself was totally insignificant in cost; but the labor to get to it was frightful. It was $400 (maybe more) to basically “change a light bulb”.

The hell with that. I feel like complaining to Maheesh that he sold me a lemon. Folks have already said that they didn’t like the porsche as well as my mercedes. Well, neither did I. But I don’t appreciate the negative comments about my selection of cheap cars.

So the porsche (nee Honda Civic) with a mere 200,000 miles on her is being sent to the glue factory.

And now I have the good luck of obtaining Shaina’s handsome Navy Blue Subaru Outback… which looks to me like a beefy hummer to me.

This is a definite upgrade. I have a radio again. Five speed and fancy 4 wheel drive to handle the hills of Litchfield County in nasty weather. I can even drive other citizens around in this car without asking them if their inoculations are up to date.

Oh yes, this is a positive hand-me-up. But I’ll confess… that Jeep is pretty sweet (very much a Jimbo type of vehicle)… maybe in Keene Shaina will remember how much she wanted a yellow Beetle.

I can see it now… Jimbo tooling around the countryside in a Red kick ass Jeep… mounted with a .50 caliber Browning M2 machine gun. Yeah, that’s the ticket! And that should take care of the negative comments about the cars I drive! ‘Til then… this hummer will do just fine.

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A Tale of Two Stories

I went to register to vote in Woodbury on the Saturday before the Primary. I can’t remember the last time I voted in a Primary (maybe never). This year I wanted to weigh in with my opinion as to whether Joe Lieberman should represent the Democratic Party for the fourth time in the Senate Election. Unfortunately, the Registrar of Voters was not open for business on Saturday. I would have to watch the Primary from the sidelines.

I promise to return to this a bit later.

But now, for the first of my stories.

Years ago Bob Goldburg and I got to talking about Israel and Menachem Begin’s Government. This was after Bob, for health reasons, stepped down from the pulpit of Temple Mishkan Israel. During his tenure as Rabbi of Mishkan Israel, it was said that ours was the only Synagogue in America that had a Foreign Policy.

During that tenure, on one Friday Night Service, he would share that pulpit with Wayne Morse, Senator of Oregon… one of only two Senators to vote against the “Gulf of Tonkin Resolution” in 1964… the resolution that opened the floodgates to our involvement in Viet Nam.

Bob also did some time in the hoosegow. He marched with Martin Luther King supporting a cause he felt was central to our prophetic traditions… Traditions that spoke to social justice and humanity. For those beliefs he was sent to jail.

Anyway… I mentioned to Bob that I didn’t like the turn of the Government in Tel Aviv. I felt that the Conservative Likud, led by Begin, was playing too much to people’s fears… that they welcomed the “blessing” and partnership of the Religious Party in the governing coalition… the Religious Right, and I found little to separate the Jewish Right, from the Christian Right, or any Right for that matter.

There seemed to be no check to the “hard line” path that Begin and Likud pursued… particularly in its policy toward Settlements in the West Bank.

And then I offered that it disturbed me that as a Nation, as a People who had just suffered the ravages of the Holocaust, who had just survived a chapter when opportunities for free societies to relieve our plight were sidestepped for the inconvenience, for the lack of caring… how could we not see a corresponding suffering of the Palestinians.

A People similarly without a homeland… But in their case mis-led by foreign mentor governments who encouraged them not to compromise, not to accommodate… and then as a result had to suffer in refugee camps, while their “patrons” relished at their suffering and pointed to the injustice.

What disturbed me further was the manner in which dissent from Likud positions was equated with collaboration with enemy — or encouraging their intransigence.

I said that all this reminded me too much of criticism over the Viet Nam protest… Our boys are in uniform — my Country right or wrong (and if it were “my Country right or wrong” we’d still be pledging allegiance to the King and England. Too many folks forget that our Nation was born in protest).

As Jews in America we were told that we had to support Israel… we had to support its policies, even if those policies were unjust… to do otherwise would be to play into the arms of our enemies who, in the worst case, wish to annihilate us, or, in the best case, simply don’t like us and don’t want us in their country clubs.

Bob listened patiently, offering words to magnify or clarify a thought. And then he finally said to take heart… that there was liberal dissent in Israel as well (it just didn’t get the play here in the U.S.)… just as there had been in this Country during Viet Nam… that it was a growing voice that would gain momentum… that Labor would return to power. And hopefully, reason and a sense of social justice would prevail.

I wonder what Bob, if he was still with us, would say today? I don’t think he would be too happy over the course of events — in this Country or in Israel. And I could well imagine that his Rosh Hashonah Sermon this year would be first, an articulate attack on the War in Iraq and the Bush Administration, and second, support for Israel, then a shot at the rogue regimes of the Mid-East, and finally, compassion for all peoples of the region who fell victim to the results of misguided policies.

To the second of my stories…

In late May or early June Norwalk High School hosts an orientation night for the students and the parents of the incoming Freshmen class. This is as much an evening for the parents as it is for the kids… especially for first time parents — as was the case for Ellen and me when Zack readied to enter Norwalk High School.

The students are taken in tow by upper classmen… shown the layout of the School, have questions answered and undoubtedly provided the skinny on what rules can be stretched and which teachers to avoid.

Parents are herded into the auditorium, and we heard an address by the Principal, John Ramos. I think the purpose of his remarks was to impress upon us the serious responsibility that he, and the Staff and Faculty, assumed in educating our children. I think his speech was meant to make us feel good, give us confidence and not to frighten us.

Then in turn he introduced the Department Heads… English, Math, Science, History, Foreign Languages, Technical and the Arts. Each Department head had been given 3 minutes to give an overview of the course work and instruction. Again, the purpose was meant to enlighten and not to frighten.

When we left the auditorium I mentioned to Ellen that I was shocked at how poor each of the oral presentations were. From Ramos on down, there had not been one well prepared speech either in its content or in its delivery. This was meant to give us confidence about the quality of instruction that Zack was supposed to receive?

It bugged the shit out of me. This was from the best Faculty of the Department? You know… three minutes… that’s two pages of material and you couldn’t do better than that? On a once a year deal? That probably doesn’t have to change from one year to the next?

And what of Ramos? A Phd and a bright guy. But a Principal has to be good in Public. A Principal has to be bright and good in Public. That’s what they get paid for. Just bright guys are a dime-a-dozen… they can sit behind desks and make good Assistant Principals.

Maybe they misplaced their notes?

Hey, wait! That was it! The well crafted speech that they used year after year was left home on the kitchen counter, and it was only discovered a half hour before show time — too late to run home and fetch it… just have to scribble out a few ideas on a couple of index cards.

Yeah… that’s what I’m going with. This was just bad luck. The teachers (and Ramos) are miles better than they just presented.

On the way home, I reminded myself of the one and only time I had to go into the Men’s Room of Grand Central Station… I was with Zack, who was 4 or 5 at the time, and we saw grubby looking bums sitting in the urinals… I thought to myself, “please let these guys be undercover cops.”

Yeah… “please let these teachers be good.”

So, let’s get back to where this started…

It was Tuesday night and Sandy and I stayed up to hear Lieberman and Lamont give their speeches of Concession and Victory.

I was not, and am not, a big fan of Joe Lieberman. When he ran for Governor I had voted for Lowell Weicker.

For many folks, however, Lieberman’s presence on the National ticket was of great symbolic importance for the American Jewish Community. He was a source of pride (maybe the way women felt about Geraldine Ferraro).

Here was a man who was not only a Jew; but he was observant. He kept a Kosher home and followed Orthodox laws that few Jews in this Country, or on a worldwide basis, practice.

And maybe it’s an over simplification; but when an ugly matter of moral conduct reared its head in the White House, it would be Joe Lieberman, a voice of integrity and high ethical standard, to advise Bill Clinton to step aside for the good of the Country.

I admired that… in much the same way I admired Barry Goldwater when he delivered similar mail to Richard Nixon.

But if I wasn’t a fan of his before, I am certainly not now… I truly didn’t want to see him representing our State any more. His support of this Administration’s Policies in Iraq is more than I can stomach. Yet I had heard the whispers about losing seniority in the Senate (I thought that was what Dodd was for)… and more disturbing — the anti-Semites will be applauding side stage.

Is that what this is about? He’s “our guy”? He’s our guy right or wrong?

Sorry… I think that because he is “our guy”, it’s terribly important that he be the right guy… he is our “face” to the rest of the Country. And I think it is time for him to plan for life after public service.

Lieberman’s speech conceding defeat aired first. He is not the best of public speakers. He is dry in his delivery. But given the force of words and sentiment, he can make an effective address. His speech was not particularly good. But it was obvious he was prepared for the outcome of the election results. He had already announced his fall back position if defeated in the polls… he intended to run for a fourth term as an Independent. His speech then, was a launch pad for his run as an Independent. It was clear that he wasn’t ready to look for another line of work.

Anyway… I wasn’t too interested in Lieberman. I really wanted to hear what Lamont had to say. If the Registrar of Voters had been open on Saturday, Lamont would have had my vote.

“Campaign Headquarters” on Election Night morphs into a “pep rally”… goofy hats, corny signs, awful music… if you’re there it might be fun… but to see it on TV, it looks like a bad fraternity party. And the unfortunate citizens who are trapped on the podium have to be reminded not to get too drunk, or look too dumb (which they do anyway… look dumb that is).

Once word that Lieberman’s speech had concluded, Ned Lamont stepped up to the microphones. Amongst the hoots, shouts, cheers and applause, Lamont smiles and settles the crowd down and said that he apologized for taking so long to get to the stand (ostensibly, he was expecting Lieberman to concede earlier), and then he said without pause, “the drinks are on me!”

I shook my head. I could see George Bush, the Father saying something stupid like that. Even the Reformed George Bush, the Younger would use something like that to appeal to a crowd of ‘ol boys. Maybe this was a Greenwich thing.

But you know how it is… say something impromptu to show the human side before launching into the prepared stuff. But prepared stuff, even though it’s staged, when it’s good, is meant to enlighten and inspire us… to give definition to ideas.

So I waited for Lamont’s prepared stuff… something well thought out and reasoned… maybe even a clever turn of a phrase… a well articulated idea that could be the foundation of the upcoming campaign.

And I waited… OK, some typical political drivel followed the “drinks are on me”… And I waited. The camera scanned the podium… his key supporters who had to smile and behave. Lowell Weicker was there… Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton… Al Sharpton? What the hell was he doing there? And Jesse Jackson… wasn’t he the guy who called New York a “Sheenie Town” (he had apologized for the insensitive remark and promised to eat a bagel and cream cheese for breakfast… maybe he can lead Mel Gibson’s rehabilitation?).

Maybe I should re-think who I will support?

I turned off the set. If Lamont had anything inspiring to share, I missed it. I’m glad that Lieberman lost. And I am glad that I turned off the TV before Lamont had the chance to further disillusion me. From his stance on the War in Iraq alone, I know I would have voted for the better guy.

Maybe the next time Lamont finds himself on the podium claiming victory or acknowledging defeat, he will have something well thought out to share, and he will do a better job of presenting it.

For sure, I will not be on the sidelines on November 7. I will be up before first light to cast my vote at Old Town Hall in Woodbury. I will vote for the best choice as I see it. And I hope that you do the same. Hopefully reason and a sense of social justice will prevail.

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Another County Heard From

A member from beyond the Hudson offers today’s entry. It was briefly delayed at the receiving desk. Our Head Librarian could not decide on its proper humor classification… “Slightly offensive to a Cultural Minority” or “Examples of brutish males taking advantage of innocent females” or “Peckers Mistaken”; but finally decided on “Traveling Salesmen and the maiden”… seeing the joke as an allegory. Personally, I don’t see it that way; but then again I had trouble with 9th Grade English when allegories were introduced. I thought they were a type of cream cookie. Well… aren’t they?

An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an old buggy one cold blustery day. The daughter said to her mother, “My hands are freezing cold.” the mother replied “Put them between your legs. Your body heat will warm them up.” The daughter did and her hands warmed up.

The next day the daughter was riding with her boyfriend who said, “My hands are freezing cold.” The girl replied, “Put them between my legs. The warmth of my body will warm them up.” He did and warmed his hands. The following day the boyfriend was again in the buggy with the daughter. He said, “My nose is cold.” The girl replied “Put it between my legs. The warmth of my body will warm it up.” He did and warmed his nose. The next day the boyfriend was again driving with the daughter and he said, “My penis is frozen solid.”

The following day the daughter was driving in the buggy with her mother, and she says to her mother, “Have you ever heard of a penis?” Slightly concerned the mother said, “Why, yes. Why do you ask?” The daughter replies, “They make one hell of a mess when they defrost, don’t they?”

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All Roads Lead to Rome

Well… not all roads. For example, Chapel St. leads to the Yale Bowl. But certainly there was a time when the extensive Roman road net linked the far reaches of the Empire, and it is accurate to say that each via did in fact lead to Rome, and specifically to the Temple of Saturn.

You see… in 20 BCE Augustus established that the bronze monument dedicated to Saturn was the beginning point of all roads. The thousands of milestones that dotted the Roman world, always noted the distance from that point to Rome, and Saturn’s Temple.

Ed Koch did the same thing a few years later declaring Times Square the center of the world with all roads leading to Temple Emmanuel. But I digress.

The purpose of roads back then was to facilitate the military in deploying its Legions. Civilian uses of the road were limited to government officials, free citizens and thieves to rob them.

Continued existence of Roman Roads to this day is the stuff of legend. Peddars Way and Watling Street in London are Roman vias. But Legion Ave. in New Haven is not. So be careful about assuming too much… it’s not about the name.

I started thinking about all this stuff when I was mired in traffic on I-95. A section in Bridgeport was being repaved for the umpteenth time, and the Connecticut Turnpike is what? All of 50 years old!

More than the inconvenience of losing two lanes to construction equipment and the delay it caused (by the by, why are they never working on it when I pass?), it just bothered me at how ineffective our repairs are. Where are the Roman engineers now that we really need them?

First, consider the preparation of their road beds. They would dig a trench the width of the road 15 feet down. Then they would place alternating layers of crushed rock, coarse concrete, rubble, sand, gravel and probably a crushed Legionary or two. The final layer would have been flat paving stones with concrete filling in the gaps. The end result was a smooth surface, remarkably resistant to rain, freezing and flooding… and they needed little repair.

Second, consider the nature of the traffic. Lotsa folks wearing sandals, carts and oxen… That’s about it, and very occasionally elephants. But certainly no sports cars, SUVs, tandem trailered trucks or the like.

Aye, there is the rub. Can you imagine how long those Roman Roads would have lasted if Hannibal kept on trooping herds of elephants back and forth across them?

This is where we can really learn from the Romans. Let’s begin with eliminating all forms of automotive and trucking vehicles. In their place we will go back to more environmentally sound forms of travel. Walking. And sandals, we don’t want klunky shoes or spiked heels ripping up the road surface.

Next. Bring back the ox. The environmentally friendly ox. And just think… after the ox has finished its usefulness we get to eat it! Try and eat a Lexus!

And another thing… no elephants!

Just think of the new industires that will blossom as a result of the simpler way of life. Sandal making will be bigger… but I’ve had my fill of the fashion world. If you could house break an ox, that line of ranching might be fun. But I think yoke making will be the real cutting edge industry… that and ox flop shovels. That’s the ticket — yokes and flop shovels.

Yes, things are beginning to come into focus. Kelly, I’ll have one more Wild Turkey. Traffic construction be damned! Here’s to Roman Roads…

We’ll consider orgies on a different evening.

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