An Astonomical Gripe, From the Bile of Philo Kvetch

Posted on July 14, 2006 by Jim

So the great Galileo Galilei discovers 4 moons around Jupiter… and names them Io, Europa, Callisto & Ganymeade… they were named after his cats. I don’t like cats, but that’s not my gripe here.

I want to know why Jupiter got so many moons and we only got one! I mean it’s not like there are people living on Jupiter who could appreciate this heavenly largesse!

And not only do they have so many moons; but Galileo took the time to name them! Did he take the trouble to name our moon? No! Maybe he ran out of cats?

But the fact remains, Jupiter’s got a helluva lot more moons than we do! And they got fancy names, too! It just doesn’t seem right. Look, Jupiter has nothing right? Not even a place as good as South Beach… or a South Beach Diet. Have you ever heard of the Jupiter Diet. I don’t think so! But they have all these moons – with neat sounding names!

And when they finally get around to naming stuff on our moon we get a bunch of second hand garbage like the Sea of Copernicus. What kind of name is that? I’ll tell you what… it’s a dumb name! Why can’t we have cool names like Lower East Side Sea or New Lake Michigan? Good names!

But nobody cares! And do you know why? Because we only have one moon… who cares about one moon? No one! But if we had a bunch of moons like Jupiter, then folks would notice! You better believe they would take notice! Then Christopher Cross would have to change the lyrics in “Arthur’s Theme” to if you get caught between the moons and New York City. You see! Even the song is better already!

And now you know why I’m so angry! We only got one stinkin’ moon. And I’m tired of it!

And I’m going to do something about it! I am going to start by changing the name of the Sea of Copernicus… from now on when you cast your eyes to our Moon, take pride in looking at the Sea of Johnny Unitas… and there will be other changes, too… the Valley of Wilt Chamberlain & Wild Turkey Mountain.

There… I think that’s a reasonable start…

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Another Hand

Posted on July 11, 2006 by Jim

The photograph of my Mother and Father in the 1952 MG TD in front of Buckingham Palace keeps showing up. This time nestled in an old family photo album. It was one of many loose photos stuck inside of the front and back covers. The album itself housed pictures mostly of Paul & Lynn (before I was born)… but there were shots of Mom & Dad, Mommie Soph, Bubie Lena, my Cousin Paula and other members of my extended family. Towards the back of the book even I made an appearance.

The photos were held in place by those tiny little black triangles that my Mother would glue down. Although in some cases the glue had dried out, and a few of the photos in some way had slipped from their moorings. Above a few photos, my Mother’s clear and precise printing: “Labor Day – Sept – 1945” or “Sept 46” or “Morty Beroza”.

The last time the “MG” photo surfaced was a little over two years ago. Tiny had the photo amongst her family memorabilia and passed it along to Lynn. That version of the snapshot carried the inscription on the reverse side in my Mother’s distinctive cursive script.

Having seen a copy of the photograph itself many times before, it was the inscription that captured me. Not the content of the inscription; but rather the very strokes and curves of her handwriting… the expression of her hand.

And now, the same photograph, but larger, and on its reverse side this time is my Father’s handwritten inscription:

“Lynn, Paul & Jimmie

Here it is our little red beauty outside of Buckingham Palace. July 1st my Birthday. Mother and I are truly as happy as we look and having lots of fun. You will love the MG and can’t wait to give you a run and show you its wonderful easy handling. I can see Paul & Lynn driving it a few years from now. Jimmie will have to keep to trucks + buses.

Love Mommie + Dad”

It’s been a while since I have seen my Father’s handwriting… his hand. His “L”s, “D”s, “F”s and “G”s have these wonderful loops that give roundness to his script. It lacked Mom’s precision; but I think reflected his character well… readable, yet whimsical… something that would play well to sentiment.

This is also the first time in decades since seeing the variant spelling of my name… Jimmie with an “ie” instead of “y”. Both my Mom and Dad would use this from time to time… alternating the spelling form “ie” to “y”. But maybe when this was written (I was only three), they hadn’t decided how to spell my nick name? For sure, I only spelled my name with a “y”, and certainly by the time I went to Union “ie” was no longer in use (not even by my Mom).

Well… it’s good to see my Dad’s handwriting again. I can hear his voice behind the words… hear the chuckle, too.

Yes, we all got to love the MG.

And 53 years after its original penning, I love seeing my Father’s hand just as much.

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Guess Who is Coming to Dinner?

Posted on July 8, 2006 by Jim

I have been reading M.F.K. Fisher again. She is a marvelous writer, great essayist. Whether she is reflecting on her life spent in a variety of locations, or whether she is writing about food and its special qualities… she writes in a wonderful sensuous style. Great phrasing and an economical use of words (not my strong suit).

Wouldn’t it be fun to talk to her?

Well… there you go. Talking to a food writer… obviously over dinner. Who else would I invite…

Here is the list:

M.F.K Fisher… writer, traveler, storyteller, lived life filled with parents, grandparents, children, lovers both here and Europe and knew how to pick out great produce.

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart… my favorite composer. Musical genius. If nothing else he could play some music after dinner.

Red Smith… sports writer. He had a marvelously literate style and he spanned a time from Grantland Rice to current writers covering sports. It would be a gas to listen to his anecdotes.

I have already picked out the menu.

We will start with the freshest of oysters accompanied by an Alsatian Pinot Blanc that I have just tried by Jean Baptiste. Normally I would have put a Chablis with this course… but this Pinot Blanc has a delightful smokiness that would pair perfectly to the briny oysters.

A simple bistro entree… Steak Frites served with another wine that I have just picked up… Delas Seigneur de Maugiron Cote Rotie.

For dessert Creme Brulee served with Ch. D’Yquem. I adore this Sauternes. And my advice to you is acquire any vintage of this wine, it really makes so little difference. It is always the best dessert wine and “bad” vintages (or vintages of lesser quality, if you prefer) just cost less.

Excellent… OK, Wolfie… what are you going to play tonight?

I think I may do this again.

********************

You can plan your own dinner and guest list. But first a few ground rules. No one living. It’s only dinner and conversation. Everyone has to keep their clothes on.

By the by… this little exercise also regularly appeared (and maybe still does) on the back page of Bon Appetit as part of questions put to various notables… you know… name three things you keep in the frig, name three people you would like to have dinner with, etc., etc.

Posted in The Ash Creek Bourbon & Conversation Corner | 2 Comments

Barb

Posted on July 7, 2006 by Jim

And then there was the day that Barbara gave me the finger. I forget what prompted it. I must have said something smart-assed. But I always say smart-ass stuff, it had to have been special smart-ass to warrant the finger. Giving the finger is not something we expect from our Barbara.

I just laughed, made a remark about the impropriety of the gesture, how it violated the decorum of the Bullpen… and then I concluded, “I love when a woman talks dirty to me.”

Then Barbara gave me her Grade “A” smile… a smile which I rank in the Top Ten of smiles.

There is good and bad about working in a small place. There is an intensity that is shared when there are fewer in number traveling the same road… experiencing the same peaks and valleys of the business day.

Grapes is a small business. On the good days the richness of the laughs and re-couping the day’s selling successes is unmatched. On the bad days the failures cut deeper, the sting of not hitting our objectives is acutely felt.

Each day we face a challenge… either real or contrived. This brings to mind a quote from Theodore Roosevelt. He referred to,

“the man who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred by the dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes up short again and again; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions and spends himself in a worthy cause, and who, at worst, if he fails, at least fails daring greatly; so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory or defeat.”

Good quote, no? Perhaps a bit “over the top” considering what we do at Grapes… sell wine by the case over the phone.

Somehow, though, I have always seen our selling area (a collection of desks, PCs and phones), what I have called our “Bullpen”, as an arena of sorts… And I can’t tell you the number of nights I felt covered in dust, sweat & blood at the close of our business day at 9:00PM.

At our “closing bell” I would look over to Barb’s desk… her smile would restore me. And a pat on the back felt good, too.

Barb’s work day with us would begin with our evening “sell session” at 6:00PM. Her activity at Grapes was her second job (she works in the Insurance industry by day)… she held a variety of positions in her years at Grapes. Her most recent responsibility was doing our order entry, invoicing, running the credit card transactions, handling customer issues on the phone. Detail stuff. Taken for granted; but oh, so important.

But as important as that function was, it barely describes her importance to our business, and why she will be sorely missed now that she has put a close to her chapter at Grapes and has moved to softer pastures (and closer to her daughter!).

Barb gave us a soul… she provided a steady hand, she was a calming presence. And if we became slack in a sales call, or in our paper work, she would snap a whip (but in a way that still left us whole). She never lost her sense of dignity… of doing the right thing, of trying to help us along… trying to make our enterprise better, regardless of the challenges.

In an industry that has a “smarmy” side, Barb was a lighthouse of civility.

Even when she gave me the finger.

Oh… how I will miss that.

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