The Day the Rum Hat Came Off

You visit a room often enough and it becomes impossible to separate the room, its “things” and its inhabitants.  So it was for me and my Aunt Meggie’s den… first in Woodbury and then re-created on the Cape in Chatham. 

As a kid, I loved Meggie’s house… the many small rooms, each containing special corners and hiding places… perfect ground for a young imagination.  No room captured me more than her den.  No room offered a better representation of my Aunt… art on the wall, figurines in the étagère, the furniture itself: Uncle Saul’s blue club chair, the thick couch, the Hitchcock rocking chair and a formal chair that no one sat on.  It was all Meggie.

Each visit I would find something new.  Not that it was new.  Just a new discovery to young eyes.  “New” because there was only so much that I could take in on any given occasion.  Sure I may have loved Meggie’s oatmeal raisin cookies… I think I loved this room more… the old fashioned globe standing in the corner, the tally desk with its multiple drawers (each one that had to be investigated), the Beatrix Potter figurines, the hat rack, the Lautrec poster, the Tiffany lamp, built-in bookshelves, a Sharp’s buffalo rifle (perhaps the biggest surprise to those who did not know of Saul and Meggie’s early days)… I loved it, particularly when the adults talked elsewhere, leaving me to explore the den and its possessions in solitary joy.

But at some point in the visit, Meggie would get comfortable in the den.  If Uncle Saul commanded the dinner table, Aunt Meggie held court in the den.  When I was a kid and the adults gathered there, “adult conversation” ruled… meaning: how cousin Roz looked like “death warmed over” because of her ridiculous diet.  Or: how Philophage the florist got a girl in trouble (I didn’t know what that meant).  I would try my best to ignore their talk… and rather busied myself with the miniature lead dinosaurs from the Peabody Museum that graced the lower shelf of the étagère.

It was only later… after Uncle Saul, my Mom & Dad had passed away, that I truly learned to appreciate that room, and the stage it provided for the marvelous stories Meggie could weave.  No one told a better story than Meggie.

My visits to the den in Chatham were usually motivated by a need for healing… to re-connect with firm ideas and secure emotions… what my Father would have called touching base.

On one visit, the hat rack called to me.  An old Yale football helmet (supposedly worn by Albie Booth), a nifty straw boater (retrieved from the Head of the Charles Regatta), a dusty Stetson (I was told that it was worn by Bill Hickock when he drew a hand of aces over eights), a freshman beanie from Union’s Class of ’71 (this was my contribution), a small mauve colored hat with lace trim (worn by Katherine Hepburn, if we are to believe).  And then some dumb non-descript porkpie hat that seemed out of place for lacking notoriety or a story.  Or so I thought.

I looked out the den window… storm clouds gathered over the Atlantic.  The sky deepened to a dark grey, the wind picked the water into white caps.  Aunt Meggie turned on the Tiffany table lamp which cast a dim glow to the room and its many artifacts.  She sipped her glass of tea and I contented myself with a whisky.

“Meggie… is that ugly hat new?  Tell me that Clyde Barrow wore it when he bought the farm!”

“That hat?  No, it’s not new.  Hardly.  Maybe it was too ordinary for you to have noticed it before.”

She put her glass of tea down, got up from the Hitchcock rocker, approached the rack and took down the mouse colored hat from its perch.  She brushed it… she held it to her breast and closed her eyes.

“This was your Uncle Saul’s.  Well… not really his.  But he ended picking it up off the floor.”

I took another sip and let Meggie’s voice lull me.

“Saul and I first met in Paris.  We were young and each of us had gone to Europe in search of adventure.  I was going to study dance and Saul was playing clarinet in a klezmer band.  What can I say?  We were young.  Paris.  Broke.  We fell in love.  We didn’t know from the Depression. Everyone was broke.  It wasn’t a special deal.  We lived in a fifth floor flat in Montmartre… from our tiny kitchen (a closet really) we could see the Sacre Coeur.  Those were the days!  Some of the happiest I have spent.  Young, in love… when a half baguette, some cheese and a bottle of red was a banquet!”

She put the hat back to its proper place and returned to the Hitchcock.

“Time marched on.  And Europe was getting ugly.  It was 1934.  Hunger in our bellies we could deal with… but what was taking place in Germany put a damper on our pursuit of art.  I had hurt my knee.  Saul’s band split up. That mishuga Hitler was Chancellor.  It was time to return home.  But we were broke and couldn’t afford passage home.  And did I mention that my parents, your grandparents, weren’t pleased that we were living in sin?” 

I think she enjoyed this part of the story the most. It made her feel contemporary… “living in sin”.  That’s my Aunt Meggie and Uncle Saul!  I just can imagine my Grandfather waiting at the dock in New York with a shotgun… make that a Sharp’s buffalo rifle!

“The RMS Mauretania was getting set to sail to New York on what would be her final voyage.  Saul noticed that there was an opportunity for couples to dance their way across the Atlantic!  Cunard Lines had the idea of offering ’round the clock entertainment on board ship.  A ‘non-stop dance marathon’ for the amusement of the paying patrons… a sizeable cash prize to be awarded in New York for the winning couple… and of course there would be some wagering that would add sporting interest to the contest.”

She got up from the rocker again… went to the bookshelf and fetched a shoebox… another item I had not noticed before, maybe it was also too ordinary to attract the curious eye.  Meggie opened it to show me a pair of red pumps with a low heel.

“I wore these shoes from Liverpool to New York!  Two days before boarding ship the Cunard hosted a ‘dance night’… the purpose was to give ‘sponsors’ a chance to see couples dance.  The sponsors would cover the cost of the trans-Atlantic ticket… and hopefully would have their investment returned in New York in the form of the cash reward… and of course there would be side bets as well.  Fifty couples were permitted on board.  We were one of the lucky ones.  Couple #12.  Our sponsor was Michael R. Sullivan… also known as Mickey the Cigar.”

She closed the box. “My Saul-ie… what a dancer!  He knew all the steps.  Which was a good thing… because we would foxtrot, charleston and waltz from one side of the Atlantic to the other… 10 minutes of rest each hour… and a half hour every eight hours.  And me with a bum knee!  But we danced and danced.  Our sponsors watched from tables that lined the outside of the dance floor… they shouted encouragement, words of advice and threats!  There were contests within the main contest… who did the best tango… who was the best looking couple… that sort of thing.  The wagering became quite heavy.”

She looked at the storm brewing on the Atlantic… my guess is that the storm didn’t interest her.  But her story brought her back to the day when she crossed that body of water… and she looked at the Atlantic in a personal way… as if it shared in her memory.

“One night… at least I think it was night, we were to have a ‘foxtrot contest’.  There was to be a $500 award for this contest, which by agreement would have gone to Mickey the Cigar.  $500 was a ton of money then.  Fine.  We were just happy to find a way to get back home.  Mickey took his seat at a table right by the dance floor… he wore this thick striped brown suit, a dark tie, brown and white spectator shoes and a porkpie hat… and, as you would imagine, a cigar gripped in his teeth.  We danced near the table, he raised his mai tai and said, ‘look kids, I’m wearin’ my drinkin’ shoes and I got my rum hat on… we’re winnin’ tonight!’ and he finished the mai tai and ordered another.  That was the first time I heard of a mai tai… some guy, Donn Beach invented the rum drink that year and it was the rage.  Well, we danced our hearts off, and Mickey downed mai tai after mai tai.”

I looked at my whisky… mai tais?  I think I’ve had one years ago… maybe.

“The judge moved through the dance floor, looking at each couple, making his notes.  One song after another, without pause. The excitement in the ballroom increased with each number… more wagers were being put down.  Folks were cheering and hooting… supporting their favorites booing others.  Mickey kept the flow of mai tais going… he loosened his tie and he was certainly ‘into it’.  We were into the last number before the conclusion of the judging.  And the judge was very close to us… Saul whispered to me, ‘he likes us, I think we’re going to win.  Just keep smiling.’  The Judge ran some type of dance studio in New York and he was always dressed impeccably.  He nodded in our direction and then turned away and gave the award to a couple from Philadelphia!  We were surprised.  But Mickey the Cigar?  He was pissed!”

Meggie shook her head and had a good laugh.  She took off her glasses to give them a good cleaning before continuing with the narrative.

“Mickey stood up and started pointing at the Judge, and then he shouted, ‘come here you dumb little faggot, I’m gonna beat the shit outya!!’ He made a move to go on to the dance floor, he upturned his table… he knocked over the table next to him, too… which gets other people involved, then he took his hat off and slammed it to the floor, ‘come here you little piece of shit… we just got robbed! Da fix was in!’  And the next thing you know there was a ruckus that spread to the dance floor.  People were shouting, fists flying… it was a good thing that we were coming to our half hour break.”

She just shook her head and smiled.

“We were near Mickey’s table, or I should say where the table had been.  Saul picked up Mickey’ porkpie, and we headed back to our bunks for a rest.  Saul intended giving the hat back to him.  But that was the last we ever saw of Mickey the Cigar: slugging it out with someone on the dance floor.  Years later we tried looking him up.  No luck.  One day I saw something in the paper about someone named Michael R. Sullivan being killed at Omaha Beach.  How many Michael R. Sullivans are there?  Lots, I suppose…”

“Did you win Aunt Meggie?”

“Win?  Saul and I did get married…”

“No, did you win the big prize?”

“Oh… that?  No.  The Philadelphia couple took the big prize, too.  We finished fifth out of fifty.  No money; but we felt pretty proud. Over the years, I can’t tell you how many times, Saul would look at me and say, ‘Doll, we’re top five stuff!'” 

I looked around the room.  And in the quiet of the pause, I could hear the wind picking up.  I looked for the old reference points of my youth.  My attention was drawn to the étagère and its lower shelf.

“Did you get those dinosaurs just to keep me occupied?”

“That was your Mother’s idea.  She bought them at the Museum Gift Shop, and gave them to me so that you would have something that was yours when you came for a visit.  She was sharp that way.”

“Sure.  Sharp like her Sister!”

“Oh… one more thing, Jimmy.  Clyde Barrow was wearing a fedora when he bought the farm.”

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The Bagshot Conspiracy

Even I know that the old stories can become stale… Winnie the Pooh, Wind in the Willows, Ann of Green Gables… And if I know it, then certainly my kids did…

“Did I ever tell you about the time that your Grandfather busted up an international ring that had infiltrated the School Lunch Program?  I know it sounds silly; but it’s true.  The Politburo had targeted the lunch program as the most effective way of undermining the strength of this country… and they gathered a highly committed elite group of saboteurs who were trained in Barbados.”

“My Father said to my Mother, ‘Eve’… he called my Mother Eve, although her real name was Frankie. Eve was just a name that was used inside the house; but one time Uncle Paul called her ‘Big Frankie’ and he was sent to a room in the attic for a week and was only given warm ginger ale and macaroons to eat.  I called my Mother ‘Mom” and I avoided punishment. Aunt Lynn only spoke French in the house, luckily for her Dad didn’t (although he was fluent in Tamal, Mandarin Chinese and English as spoken in London), so if she said ‘Grande Frankie’, he didn’t have a clue, so she didn’t have to go to the attic, although she still had to clean dog poop from the living room.

“So, Dad said, ‘Eve, we got to go to Barbados… pack the bags, don’t forget my distance slingshot, the reverse delta penalty stun gun, 2 or 3 claymore mines and extra boxer shorts..’

“Now most people thought that Dad was in the clothing business.  Even I thought he was in the clothing business.  But that was just his cover.  He worked for a very small covert cell known as Group Shtup… they made the C.I.A. look like the Cub Scouts.  Among other things, Group Shtup was credited for organizing the trade of Babe Ruth from the Red Sox to the Yankees… but that was before my Dad joined.  Dad was recruited out of Elementary School. He studied weapon technology, farming and golf.  He met my Mom at the Training Center.  She was a youth helicopter pilot and also the lead soprano in the Shtup Glee Club.  They fell in love and got married after they put down the plot to move the Dodgers out of Brooklyn.  Later the Dodgers moved anyway, and Dad’s replacement lost his job and had to become a Toll Collector on the Triboro Bridge.

“I’m not making this up…

“OK, well it turns out that Dad’s Superior… ‘the Big X’ knew that Dad knew Barbados like the back of his hand.  He and Mom would go there for vacations… Mom loved picking shells and Dad pursued his hobby of making rum, rum cake and rum hats… until he got caught by the authorities… but that’s a story for a different night.

“Dad understood how important this assignment was… he told the Big X that he wouldn’t make any rum hats, he was going with one purpose in mind… wiping out the dastardly plot to serve American School children unpopular and tasteless lunches.

“The Big X told him that the nerve center for this Organization was the dreaded Bagshot House.  It is the place where they experimented on making horrible food and teaching algebra.  If you are lucky you won’t have to take algebra and you can become a History Major like me.

“Are you following this?”

“Is that why Mom makes our lunches for school?”

“Absolutely… Group Shtup hasn’t given the ‘all clear’ yet… and Mom and I don’t want to take any chances.  Maybe when you’re in College and your protective inhibitors are fully developed it will be alright… we’ll have to see.

“Did Nana and Poppy kill anyone?”

“They didn’t have to kill anyone… they were neutralized… and Dad neutralized a ton of people.  He would give away oxford button-down shirts to the enemy.  The shirts were mis-sized by an inch and a half at the collar… and guys would get funny marks on their necks, their eyes would bug out, they would get cluster headaches, sweat like pigs and they would get an intolerable ache in their private parts and have to walk hunched over.  You can see a picture of a Village in the Urals, where the Soviets made bombs, with everyone walking hunched over!  Dad got the Legion of the Brave with two stars for that!

“They’re having mini-pizzas for school lunch on Friday.  Do you think that Group Shtup will give the ‘all clear’ by then?”

“Well… maybe. I am still on their mailing list, get their Monthly Newsletter and get invited to the Alumni Summer Picnic.”

“What’s an Alumni?”

“A retired agent… although I’m not an agent… just the son of one.  They don’t let children and grandchildren join… but there is a good shot one of your kids could get recruited!”

“Cool!  Dad?  Could you check tomorrow’s mail and see if it’s OK to have pizza on Friday?”

“It’s a deal!  Let’s get some sleep now… there’s busy day ahead, a terrific sandwich, a small bag of chips, carrot sticks, a clementine and a juice box!  And we can finish this story tomorrow night.”

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Watermelon Sky

“It’s the name of a song, no?” she asked.

He smiled, “Song?” and shook his head and continued to look toward the horse farm on the other side of the split rail fence.  They loved to sit on their deck in the late afternoon… and unless it was a hurricane or a blizzard they would find time to enjoy the quiet of their backyard.  Enjoy the setting sun… if it was that time of the year.  Crank up the wood fire pit… if it was that time of the year.  Sip a Sancerre or maybe something from the Rhone… each to their own thoughts… each together.  It was their tradition.

“Lucy Eating Watermelon… or Strawberries… In the Sky… or something like that?”

Now his reverie ground to a halt.  Wherever his mind had taken him, he now had to stop and pivot to her line of thought.

He chuckled in disbelief.  “I don’t know how you do it… you’ve just managed to murder two different Beatles’ tunes: Strawberry Fields Forever and Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds.  Congratulations!  Few human beings could accomplish that.  My Mom could, so can you… maybe 15 other people, past or present.  No, it’s not a song.”  And he smiled warmly.

The horse in the nearest paddock approached the fence, pawed at the ground with its hooves and whinnied.  It was difficult to know who had trained whom.  Had he trained the horse to come to the fence for the price of two crisp apples?  Or had the horse trained him to always have two apples at hand during their “deck time?”  Regardless, it was understood by both he and she (and the horse) that at some point, sooner rather than later once whinnying began, the apple situation would have to be addressed.  This, too, was part of their tradition.

The horse had a stately bearing, a glossy black coat that shined in the lowering sun, a small flash of white between its eyes and muscles that rippled when it moved.  It always surprised him how big they were.  He loved large animals.  Horses, buffalo, moose, rhinos… he loved them all.  When he shared this with her when they visited the Bronx Zoo one day, she laughed “It’s the little boy in you.  If you could, you would bring back the dinosaurs.” 

She was right about the dinosaurs.  But she was wrong about the song.  “I said, ‘Wielopolski’, maybe it sounded like ‘watermelonski’… watermelon sky.  And besides, I should have pronounced it correctly: Vee-lo-pol-ski.

“Wee-lo-polski, Vee-lo-polski… so?  And where did this come from?”  Although she was well used to his verbal fragments, unconnected to anything apparent, that would break a quiet.

“Count Anton Wieloposki was a Polish Nobleman and a Colonel, in the 18th Uhlans Regiment.”

“A relative?”

He had a good laugh at that thought. “That’s good… no, my family came from more humble origins.”  Her family had come from Bocki and his from Warshava Gubernia… neither could be mistaken as rising from Nobility. 

He eased into his story… “We have lost our connection to the Age of Chivalry… to the days when Mounted Knights took an oath to serve his Liege… and went into battle in plate armor and chain mail, on horses laden with armor of their own… can you imagine what it must have sounded like?  Horses, huffing and puffing, the clump of their heavy hooves, the crash of steel sword and iron mace on shield.  It must have been a frightful din.”

She knew she had lost him to his dreams… every bit as much as if he imagined a stegosaur locked in battle against an allosaur.

He knew that Cavalry had traced its beginnings to well before the Mounted Knights of the Middle Ages, and well before Alexander the Great, and even before the chariots of Pharaoh.  Over the years the type of armament used, and the tactics had changed; but whether it was a heavy sword and lance, or a sabre and a side arm, the mode of transport was always the horse.

“Today armored Cavalry’ uses Hummers and tracked vehicles mounted with heavy machine guns… it’s not the same.”

He looked at the black horse nibbling at the grass and beginning to get edgy for its apple treat.  “In the 18th & 19th Centuries, the Officer of Corps of the Cavalry invariably came from men of landed wealth… men who owned horses, men who knew horses, men who could ride and hunt.  Any idiot can be given a gun and told to march over there and shoot… but someone who was in the Cavalry had to know how to ride.  He was in the elite… and further, horses weren’t cheap… a Noble background was practically a requirement.”

“Now, I’ll grant you… the concept of Nobility maybe open to some interpretation… the Hetman of the Don Cossacks on first appearance may not be on the same social level perhaps as the Earl of Cardigan who led the Charge of the Light Brigade into the Russian guns at Balaclava.  But look closer, it’s really the leading of men on horse that confers nobility regardless of specific station.”

“And this has something to do with Count Watermelonski?”  she asked.

“I’m getting there.  You see, by the 20th Century… the Horse Cavalry was well on the way into story and legend.  The development of machine guns, motor vehicles and the air arm made the Horse Cavalry obsolete by WWI.  Yet somehow, Poland escaped complete modernization.  As WWII dawned, Poland still retained an active Horse Cavalry.  The other major combatants used some horse transport for supplies… the Russians, the Germans, the French and all.  But Poland still deployed Cavalry Regiments in their Order of Battle.  Cavalry Regiments not with tracked vehicles; but with horse.  Cavalry Regiments not composed of Dragoons who rode to position and then fought on foot; but Cavalry Regiments armed with lance, sabre and pistol.  And the Officer Corps still reflected its aristocratic bearing and pedigree… traditions that would have made Alexander the Great, Lord Cardigan and Stonewall Jackson proud.”

“Should I be tasking notes?”  she asked sheepishly. 

“Yes.  And I am going to give you the first question on the quiz: ‘Who doesn’t belong… Lord Cardigan, Stonewall Jackson, Count Wielpoloski and Heinz Guderian?”

“If I get this right, you have to make dinner tomorrow night… Guderian.”

“Good guess… do you want grilled rib-eye or grilled flank steak?  And while we’re talking about food, I think it’s time for me to bring ‘Bucephalus’ his two apples.”

He quartered them and stuffed them into both pockets.  By the time he reached the stone wall some twenty yards from the deck, the black horse, who watched him approach, nodded its big black head.  He crossed the stone wall, ignoring her warnings about the poison ivy and perched himself by the tree that stood just this side of the split rail fence.  He reached for the first apple quarter; but could barely get his hand out of the pocket before the horse, its head well extended to his side of the fence, raised its upper lip in preparation to getting his snack.

“Ask nicely!” he said; but it was of no use, the horse snapped it away from him in a blink.  He liked the way the horse chewed the apple carefully, taking his time, lowering his head to snatch some fresh blades of grass before returning for a second apple quarter.

The size of the animal still amazed him.  And the thought of a man sitting on top of this beast, towering over him with a sword or lance, charging him at full gallop… “yeah, I think I would be scared…”   He must have been 7 or 8 when his Aunt took him to the Museum of Natural History… or was it the Met?  There was an exhibit of Knights in Armor, their weapons and the like.  In the center of the hall there was a Knight, in full armored regalia, mounted on a horse, also properly attired… in a position of a charge… with the Knight’s lance lowered in a menacing fashion.  It both fascinated and scared him.  The Knight, horse and lance had to be the size of a dinosaur!

And then he turned his thoughts to Count Wielopolski leading the 18th Uhlans in a charge against a German Infantry Unit in a wooded area near the Village of Krojanty.  It was September 1, 1939… the first day of WWII.  Armed with a sense of courage and honor, Wielopolsky led the Uhlans into the position using the same shock tactic that Alexander would have used in 326BC, and dispersed the Germans into the woods.  It was later reported that the charge had been against tanks… which was inaccurate.  That Wielopolski’s ultimate cause was hopeless is not to be debated… Cavalry units with great esprit de corps are no match for Stuka Dive Bombers and Tiger Tanks; but the exhibition of bravery and action in the face of superior elements had to be admired.

He patted the soft nose of the horse, his supply of apples now exhausted, and said his good-bye.  He crossed the stonewall and thought that he may have overdone the “history lesson.”  It was hardly a topic that would have interested her, he knew that she disapproved of war and violence.  He was against war, too… but he loved military history… loved military history even more than he loved dinosaurs.  Against war, loving military history –a type of mental gymnastics.

He looked to the western sky as he resumed his seat on the deck.  “I was just kidding…”  He looked at the sky again, “I really said, ‘watermelon sky’… just look at the clouds to the west, a soft taupe on top… and their underbellies?  Hmmm, more ‘cotton candy’ pink than watermelon?  Yeah, ‘cotton candy sky’ would have been better…”

She looked to the clouds, and smiled, too “does this mean I have to cook tomorrow?”

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The Big Cookie

Let’s just say that my Aunt Meggie has the knack.  She not only makes the best oatmeal raisin cookies in Connecticut; but she understood their purpose.  It is that understanding that truly set her apart from the other oatmeal raisin makers.

It is not in my memory to remember what it felt like to hold a cookie in my small hand.  But there is something irrepressible in seeing a 3 year old holding a cookie.  A cookie is the perfect sized food for a child… the shape slides in beautifully to all four fingers and the thumb… so to the child, the cookie is big. But “big” in a good way… just the right sized big, while a cupcake might be too big. I would watch my children’s eyes light up when they held a cookie… and sometimes a cookie in each hand!  And seeing their joy, I am sure the first time I had an oatmeal raisin in my hand, I felt like king of the world, too.

Much has been made about the salutary benefits of chicken soup… how it is the ultimate cure all.  Well and good.  But Meggie understood that there is more to living than chicken soup.  There were times that an oatmeal raisin cookie is called for.

I can think of a dozen reasons that would make a small child cry.  Most involve a physical hurt of some type… something that might have spilled a little blood… a nasty scrape from stumbling on the driveway?  Sometimes a cry might be a product of a fear, worry or another type of non-physical hurt.  But to little folks a cry is a cry.

I can remember the time we went to visit Meggie in Woodbury, I must have been six or seven… I was playing outside and the neighbor’s Elkhound got loose and came over and bit me (this is the type of memory that I will carry to my grave)… I went running into the house scared and crying… got a hug from my Mom, a nuzzle to the neck and a kiss, a ruffle of my hair and an “it’s OK”.  It did staunch the flow of tears.  Aunt Meggie brought me an oatmeal raisin cookie.  See what I mean?  She had the knack.

Sure… chicken soup is good for battling yellow fever and beriberi.  But Meggie knew that an oatmeal cookie could heal beyond the wound to a wounded spirit.

There is more.  Whenever Meggie baked oatmeal raisin cookies she always made an extra two or three that were really big.  These cookies were kept hidden… away from the cookie jar, or the “hospitality plate.”  This was Meggie’s special emergency stash.  Cookies that were for times when a regular cookie just wouldn’t do the job.

Meggie treated each occurrence independently.  She would gauge the crisis and the nature of the cry and dispense the necessary “Rx”… usually a regular cookie was fine… but sometimes she would say, “I think you need a big cookie”, and she would go off to retrieve the necessary antidote from a place unseen.

To a little kid, if a regular cookie looked as big as a pie, then a big cookie looked like a large pizza pie.  And that’s big.  Meggie?  Like I said, she had the knack, she knew when a big cookie was necessary.

That she knew what to do when I was three, or when my kids were three… is one thing… that she knew what to do when I was fifty-five was another…  And so the day came when I went to visit her in Chatham… where she went to retire…  a day when I felt the world closing in on me, shell shocked from business, a marriage burst at the seams, and not getting any younger… feeling a failure at everything I had ever done… I took my Keeshond along for the ride, and went to re-charge my batteries, as was my custom, on a deck overlooking the Atlantic.

My Mother told me one day that water restored me.  She came to this conclusion watching me on the beach in Woodmont… I would just stare to the horizon, thinking of I know not what… and she said to me, “you love the water, it makes you feel better just to look at it, doesn’t it?”  It’s true, water does help me. 

I love the sun particularly at its beginning and at its end… and I can think of no better place to watch its transition than over a body of water.  Meggie had chilled a bottle of Grand Cru Chablis for us… we watched Barney scatter about the yard… smelling here and there and lifting his leg where appropriate.  We watched the sun slowly move to meet the horizon.  We chatted amiably about a variety of topics and issues and after our second glass of Chablis, Meggie asked, “Jimmy, something is troubling you?  I mean I know about the basic stuff.  But is there more?”

Did I tell you that my Aunt Meggie had a knack?

“No one has it easy”, I start, “but someone who I have known for several years has developed a serious illness.  And it hurts me.  In so many ways she helped me deal with my ‘ups and downs’ and I feel powerless to help… to return to her so much that she has given me.”

I was thankful that I had the Atlantic to distract me…

“I think you need a big cookie.”  And Meggie departed for a place unseen.  I alternated my view between the Atlantic and Barney investigating the yard.  When Meggie returned she placed before me a plate bearing a single cookie… a big cookie.

“You always know when a big cookie is needed… you knew it when I was five, you know it when I am fifty-five.”

“There is no secret to the big cookie,” she told me, “it’s simply giving a little extra to make someone else feel better.”  She sipped her Chablis, “I know you love my oatmeal raisin cookies Jimmy.  But a big cookie doesn’t have to be a big cookie.  It could be a card, a phone call… something to let the other person know that you care… that you are thinking about them.  You don’t have to bake oatmeal raisin cookies.”

We finished the Chablis.  Had a light supper… and then it was time to pack Barney in the car and head back to Connecticut.

I don’t have my Aunt Meggie’s gift, her knack.  But tomorrow… I’m going to make a phone call.

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