It is with great relief that I see that this Administration is finally trying to get ahead of a problem… at first I was shocked to see that the “rx bill” for combating the bird flu was going to be frightfully high… we’re talking billions here…
But I was warmed by the creative approach the Administration has come up with both the funding of its ambitious Programs; and the multi-dimensional approach of dealing with the crisis itself.
Kudos for the Bush team… and this will once and for all quiet the sharp an venomous tongues of the “naysayers” and un-patriotic critics of this President.
I was further relieved to see that Halliburton was going to take some of their vehicles out of Iraq since they were just given the contract to drive vaccines across the country (they will also have the contract to do this is in war ravaged Iraq… and in flood ravaged Texas)…
1.Federal Tolls. Beginning Jan 1 the following states will have toll booths established on all interstate routes: Washington, Oregon, Minnesota, Vermont, Connecticut, Maine and Rhode Island. The Tolls will be a flat across the board $2.00. 75% of the revenue to be sent to Washington, the balance to cover the cost for construction of the booths (thank God Halliburton was given the contract for building the booths)… the Booths are to be manned by High School Seniors Volunteers thru the Youths Do Right By Your Country!
2.Bird Incarceration. Previously closed military bases will be re-opened (it will have the added benefit of creating jobs) to hold suspicious birds… birds acting out of the norm will have one month to revert to acceptable behavior… otherwise they will be euthanized. The cost for this will be borne by the Individual States (but remember… there will be jobs created which is a big plus). States involved: Wisconsin, California, New York and Maryland.
3.Experimental Bird Inoculation. Avian Clinics will be established in urban centers (more jobs folks!), and voluntary bird clubs from the middle schools will catch birds and bring them to the centers to receive one of many potential serums being developed by a subsidiary of Halliburton. The States will bear the cost of Clinic Security… these Centers will obviously be a Target for foreign terrorism and the States where innoculation centers are established will have to activate the National Guard. The States involved: Illinois, Massachusetts & Pennsylvania.
4.Chicken Detention Farms.This Country’s chicken supply is at risk. To reassure our citizens that every measure is being done to protect one of our most valuable food resources… all chickens will be transported to a series of Farms set up for the purpose of isolating them from foreign borne disease. As an adjunct, Chicken Soup Kitchens will be established in Hurricane Ravaged Gulf States providing free soup to needy citizens. The Kitchens: Have Some More, It’s Good For You! is a subusidiary of Halliburton and it opearates on a Federal Grant. Farms are being established in Michigan, New Jersey, Delaware and New Hampshire.
5.The beef initiative. Worried about chicken, turkey, cornish hens and the like? Dare I say, foul fowl?? Thru the Federal Assistance Relief Agency, millions of acres have been reclaimed for the specific purpose of increasing grazing land for Texas cattle… Let The Herds Multiply is an exciting response to the Bird Terror that is infecting this great Country. I applaud the slogan Marinated Skirt Steak: It’s the Real Thanksgiving!
So friends… I have decided to put aside my sniping remarks & I suggest you do the same.
n.b. Related news: I. Lewis Libby has just taken a position on the Board of Halliburton