History Re-Visited: What Really Went Down in Sinai


MOSES: The Lord has given us the take-out menu to the Manna From Heaven Dumpling and Noodle Shop.  How many want eggroll?

DATHAN:  What about the Commandments, Moses?  We want Commandments!

MOSES:  You want Commandments?  Are you nuts?  OK, I’ll give you Commandments!  First, “Remember to put down the toilet seat.” Next, “Take two pitches and hit to right field.” Third, “The sign that says Last Gas for Fifty Miles… believe it!”  Then, “Look both ways when you cross the street.”  Fifth, “If you want to find happiness go to Costco, Aisle 3.”  Next, “After eating you have to wait an hour before you go swimming.”  Seventh, “The lucky numbers in the fortune cookies aren’t lucky.  Let that be lesson to you!”  Eighth, “I before E, except after C… or is it the other way around?  Oh, just do your best. ”  That’s enough with Commandments, just treat everybody as you would like to be treated, and we’ll be fine.  Now… how many want eggroll?

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