Black Tie

I grew up in the “rag trade”… you have to forgive me. Clothing terms have meaning and inflection to me that probably are unimportant to the general population.

Many of these terms were put before my feet by my Father. For example, “Tuxedo” as a term for gentlemen’s Evening Dress attire was strictly verboten in our house. My Father would intone, “Gentlemen wear Dinner Suits… waiters wear Tuxedos.”

To this day, I wince when I hear someone say “Tuxedo”… or even worse, its abbreviated form: “Tux”.

I maybe no gentleman; but I have never worn a Tuxedo in my life… just a Dinner Suit (and if I do say so.. I look good in one). Dad, you don’t have to worry, our reputation is intact.

OK, on to a further examination of “dress” clothing. How lucky we men are. Women have to fuss and fret over what to wear on those special evenings… what is the colour, texture, hemline, neckline… all sorts of stuff… which is why they have to expend so much energy shopping (and it’s not for nothing; but have you ever heard a woman who admitted in public to actually liking what she was wearing on a fancy night out?).

Yeah, men are lucky. We get to pee anywhere we want and on the very night that the Ladies in our life have to struggle mightily with colour, texture, hemline, neckline… men have it easy!

EASY… big time. Keep it simple. Black. Shawl or Peak lapel (sorry, I don’t abide by notch). Satin or Gros Grain facings. White pleated dress shirt. Butterfly or Bat Wing bow tie. Voila! Even a male “bowling ball” like Lou Costello would look good!

 

And then there are those guys who lend extra elegance and grace to Black Tie. Cary Grant has to be numero uno. Sean Connery as James Bond is a top five… so is Fred Astaire, the Prince of Wales and Jack Kennedy.

I also have a soft spot for Humphrey Bogart in Casablanca. In Rick’s Cafe he wore a White Dinner Jacket. That was OK. But I am thinking of him in Paris (you remember Paris? “You wore blue, the Germans wore grey”… I love that line… easily one of the ten best lines in film). He was dressed in Black Tie… he danced with Ingrid Bergman, eyes closed as he pressed her cheek to his as they slowly turned on the dance floor.

Oh yes, Black Tie.

I am years removed from the “trade”. But make no mistake, I still have an eye for folks turned out in “fancy”, classically designed clothes.

And I guess this brings me to someone who I just saw dressed “to the 9s”. Permit me a big smile.

It’s like this… I don’t know about you; but I have never been particularly comfortable viewing the recently departed prior to the funeral. My first experience with this was seeing V.I. Lenin in 1969… although he wasn’t recently departed, and there were those of us who thought he looked like an exhibit raided from Madam Tussaud’s.

But viewing the body, is certainly a tradition and it is a way that we show our final repsect. I guess folks get used to it. It’s just foreign to me. And yet, there is certainly something compelling about it.

Yesterday was a day to honor Ben Stone & I was late arriving for the “viewing”. No matter. Bernie brought me into the room. Just Bernie and me (the “technicians” respectifully moved to the side).

There was Ben at rest… looking serene, dressed in a Satin Shawl Lapel Dinner Suit (with a boutoniere if I recall)… and my did he look sharp… a bon vivant… a gentleman. Bernie said that he wished he could put a drink in his hand!

Here’s to you Ben Stone! You’ve had a grand life!

And Ben… if you’re listening, I want to share a story with you…

I am too lazy to figure out the year; but Kathleen was pregnant with your first Grandson… Jeffrey. And for New Year’s Eve in Stamford we decided that rather than go out, the Stones and the Winstons would have a “progressive evening” at 96 Mayflower Ave. Cocktails in our first floor flat, dinner upstairs in the Stone’s flat, New Year’s Toast back downstairs (and New Year’s breakfast, the next day, back upstairs).

Just the four of us. Why not get dressed up?

Ellen and Kathleen put on fancy dresses (and as previously noted, Kathleen was tres enceinte)… and Bernie and I put on Black Tie (we both owned… not common in our peer group).

I don’t think I have ever enjoyed wearing a Dinner Suit more. The snow was swirling outside, we had log fires going on both floors, and there was nobody better looking than we were.

Sorry Ladies… it’s just too easy for us to look good. Bernie, me… Cary Grant in To Catch a Thief, Fred Astaire in Top Hat… or Ben Stone in his rest.

 

We looked good… we look good… we will look good.

So, first let me don my Dinner Jacket one more time, next let me lift a glass to toast your honor, Ben Stone… and next, let’s turn our attention to the beautiful ladies in our lives…

“You look wonderful tonight… can I have this dance?”

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