My Parrot Trumps Your Crab

Catching a snowflake on your tongue on a February morning, rolling down a grassy hill on a warm spring afternoon, cannonballing your best buddy on a hot August day, jumping into a leaf pile on an autumn Sunday… saving the cherry on your hot fudge sundae ’til the last… squishing your toes in mud…

You know I could continue this list… maybe for days… each would describe an activity or sensation of our youth.

Don’t kid yourself, these are fun things (& don’t be concerned who is watching)… To lose your taste for what is youthful is to lose your taste for life.

Losing touch with youth is something that concerns me not. A couple of indications of my retaining a youthful outlook: I have never allowed my face to entirely clear up and, more germane to this exposition, I am completely committed to the excellence of feature length animated Disney films (and for the sake of brevity, hereinafter referred to simply as “Disney’s“).

I can’t pin point my first Disney. I’m going to guess that it was either Lady and the Tramp or Peter Pan… and I am also guessing that Lynn took me to the theatre with, or without Mom.

Yes, I loved watching cartoons on TV. I was a big fan of Looney Tunes and Merrie Melodies. But those cartoons were merely three minutes in length, and while good, they were hors d’oeuvres to a kid who craved an entree.

Disney’s? They were the complete dinner… soup to nuts as they say…

Small “cartoon novels”, really.

And when I was a kid, the only time you could catch a Disney was in the theatre…

This was before “Walt Disney Presents” or “The Wonderful World of Disney” on TV.

This was before VHS and DVD.

Once a year a Disney would play in the theatres. Of course I always thought they were “new”… Snow White, Bambi, Dumbo, Cinderella, Peter Pan… how did I know that Snow White was first released in 1937.

The first Disney that I saw when I was “older than a kid” was when Lynn and I took Andy and Lisa to see the Jungle Book. In our family this event became legendary, not for the viewing of the film; but for Lisa, aged 4, striding down the aisle of the theatre, before the curtain was raised, and declaring to the audience, in a rather loud voice & with a thrust of her arms for emphasis, “I am Jewish!!”. Why she did this, like where the elephants go to die, will be a mystery left for all time.

But I digress…

My love for Disney’s would experience a full renaissance once my kids came on the scene. Now I could re-experience films of my youth; but their new films (really new films like Little Mermaid) released nearly every year — and there was also Walt Disney Presents on TV which periodically ran old Disney’s… and there was VHS & DVD so you could see your favorites time and time again. Access to Disney’s seemed unlimited.

And when my life guttered, when a combination of forces weighed down on me (some of it self inflicted), when I faced a crushing sleep debt, I would look forward to a tiny wedge of time on a late Sunday afternoon when I would retreat to the couch… put on Beauty and the Beast… and lulled by the narrator’s introduction & the background theme, I would drift to sleep even before Belle sang “Bonjour“… my kid’s knew I called this interlude my “Disney nap”.

Of my three kids, I think Zack has inherited my “Disney chromosomes”. And so it happened in a phone call we shared between Round 2 and the Sweet 16, and when other sports or music news seemed less pressing, that Disney’s came up.

You know how it is… rank your favorites, which had the best music, favorite character… that sort of thing. I rattle off my top 3, thinking mainly music: Beauty and the Beast, Little Mermaid & Sleeping Beauty… He counters: Jungle Book, Aladdin & The Lion King… although the music is key for me, Zack feels it’s secondary…Then he tosses down the gauntlet to me, “and my Parrot trumps your Crab!”

Well… we’ll see about that!

In an unprecedented move I have decided to list my 10 favorite Disney’s in a specific order… each film listed is accompanied with a few articulate observations and enlightening details. Bear in mind, I’m not a movie critic… and who knows, next year I might change my mind & besides, you can never tell what new magic Disney may produce.

On the other side I will add some concluding remarks. Please hold your applause to the end.

1. BEAUTY & THE BEAST (1991)
I think I have seen this film more times than Casablanca, and that alone is reason to secure this Disney in my top spot. From the opening sequence when David Ogden Stiers intones the “back fill” to the story, to the ending credits when Celine Dion and Peabo Bryson sing their version of the title track, I am in my glory.

Above all, I love the music… and in particular the staging of the initial musical number with Belle walking into town… interacting with the locals.

And then, more spectacular, the waltz scene has a “state of the art” 3D quality and plays to Angela Lansbury’s more vulnerable version of the title track… a version I actually prefer to the ending track.

There is more, also memorable is the ensemble rendition of “Something There” which is well presented with the music simply backing the sequence when Belle’s tenderness for the Beast emerges.

Other Disney story lines maybe superior… but this is simply my favorite… and when I need 40 winks, I will seek out a couch, get comfy & wait for the music to ease me… tale as old as time…

2. SLEEPING BEAUTY (1959)
When “Disney naps” became a feature of my life, this film got its major boost into a top 10 slot. Unlike other Disneys that feature original songs and scoring (songs, by the by, that often are Academy Award winners), Sleeping Beauty’s score is predominately adapted from Tchaikovsky’s Ballet Suite of the same name. And I love Tchaikovsky — Nutcracker, Swan Lake & Sleeping Beauty. I have never tired of their main themes.

And as much as I love the music, Sleeping Beauty features one of my favorite “bad guys” (but in this case the “bad guy” is a lady): the powerful sorceress Maleficent.

And for humor, I love the scene in the cottage when Fauna, Flora & Merryweather get busy making a cake and special dress for the Princess Aurora’s Birthday.

But when all is said and done… for me, it’s about the music.

3. THE LITTLE MERMAID (1989)
I love the opening sequence showing the wooden ship pitching in the rolling sea… we listen to Fathoms Below and then follow the path of a fish that escaped from the deck of the ship to the undersea world of Triton, King of the Mer-people, Ariel his daughter & a terrific villianess, Ursula the Sea Witch (wonderfully drawn with a fabulous voice over by Pat Carroll).

But the character who steals the show is Sebastian the Crab. His lilting “island accent” sets the tropical tone of the film… and I don’t whether Samuel E. Wright, Sebastian’s voice, sounds like that naturally or if the accent is staged. No matter, he is a perfect and he leads two songs that both get nominations for the Academy’s Best Song Award: Kiss the Girl and Under the Sea… which is why the “crab” takes Aladdin’s “parrot” hands down.

4. THE LION KING (1994)
This is an original Disney story line and one of their best. The Disney artists went to town on the sweeping backgrounds in Africa. And no surprise, another Academy Award winning song, Can You Feel the Love Tonight? penned by the talented team of Tim Rice and Elton John.

I can think of no finer list of voice characterizations… Matthew Broderick as Simba, James Earl Jones as Mufasa (you know, give me ten bucks, James Earl Jones’ voice should be in Smithsonian), Jeremy Irons as Scar is my second favorite voice for Evil (he loses out to George Sanders), Robert Guillaume as Rifiki, two of the best hyenas of your life: Cheech Marin and Whoppi Goldberg.

And I have saved the best for the last: Ernie Sabella as Pumba and Nathan Lane as Timon are simply hysterical… their interplay is magnificent and perfectly timed.

But my favorite scene is when the Lion King Mufasa takes his young cub Simba to a grassy knoll on a starry night… Mufasa tells Simba that each star represented previous Lion Kings and that one day it would be Simba’s turn to be King… and that he was to remember and never forget who he is and where he came from.

5. Aladdin (1992)
This made Zack’s top three list and Shaina slotted it at five, and both cited Gilbert Gottfried’s characterization of the Parrot Iago as being one of Disney’s best… and I agree that he is a top “second banana”.

But the true star of this film is the Genie & the talented Disney animators who followed Robin Williams’ improvisations and voice impersonations. Williams’ effort here merits perhaps higher placement for Aladdin… but I never took to the drawing of Jafar (I can think of many Disney bad guys who I enjoyed more) nor did I take to the Monkey’s role as side kick & the story line and the locale didn’t really grab me.

Again a Disney song, A Whole New World, wins the Academy Award…

Still,all in all, a Genie/Robin Williams tour de force is truly amazing and a treat in every way.

6. THE MANY ADVENTURES OF WINNIE THE POOH (1977)
This Disney is actually a compilation of three short films released earlier: Winnie the Pooh and the Honey Tree (1966), Winnie the Pooh and a Blustery Day (1968) & Winnie the Pooh and Tigger, Too (1974).

My love for this film stems from my love of the A.A. Milne book of the same name. And while I don’t recall hearing the Winnie stories when I was a kid, I loved reading the stories when it became my kids turn to hear stories.

And while E.H. Shepherd’s original line drawings had a wonderful charm, I actually preferred the softer and rounder look to the Disney animated characters.

Sterling Holloway’s voice over for Winnie the Pooh is perfect (he can also be heard as Mr. Stork in Dumbo, Flower in Bambi & the reptilian Kaa in The Jungle Book). And the music is well matched to the lyrics that Milne had already put into his stories. And my favorite tune by far is “Little Black Rain Cloud” …and ev’ryone knows that a rain cloud never eats honey, no, not a nip… You got to love Winnie the Pooh.

7. THE JUNGLE BOOK (1967)
This Disney has a real good story line and another all-star cast of voices. My favorite voice is George Sanders as the Tiger Shere Khan. I have a real soft spot for Sanders… his role as the supreme cad Addison DeWitt in All About Eve combined the elegant sophisticate with the low gutter snipe. In Shere Khan he brings that lofty patrician Lloyd Harbor tone combined with the menacing sense of evil.

Then there is Sterling Holloway, one of my Disney favorites, this time in the guise of Kaa the Snake.

Phil Harris as Baloo the Bear is lovable and hugable… I just have a hard time squaring the Disney image with his public persona of the hard boozing, heavy smoking reprobate of Vegas lounge acts.

Louie Prima as King Louis is top stuff, too. As is Sebastian Cabot’s Bagheera.

But my favorite character is Pat O’Malley’s Colonel Hathi of the Elephant Dawn Patrol. He executes an near perfect parody of the aging British Officer serving out his time is some Colonial backwater, re-living memories & glories of “Chinese” Gordon and Khartoum.

And I love the concluding scene when Mowgli is returned to the “man village” and he catches sight of a lovely young girl come to fetch water for her Mother. He melts at her appearance. Yes, I can remember that look. Bravo Disney for capturing it.

8. FANTASIA (1940)
For some one who loves music (and “Disney naps”), the inclusion of this Disney should come as no surprise. But rather than the music being the background to the story line, in Fantasia music is the film… the animation comes after. It is interesting to see how the Disney animation team interpreted and translated classical pieces of music into film.

To enjoy Fantasia maybe it helps to like the pieces that Disney chose to represent.

And even without a clear story line, this Disney makes my list because I love “The Nutcracker”, “The Toccata and Fugue in D Minor” purely for the music, I love the “Sorcerer’s Apprentice” for how Disney chose to interpret it…

And of course, not that I loved the piece of music… I loved the dinosaur scenes in the evolution piece.

If I recall, I snookered Zack, at a very young age, into seeing this Disney on the “big screen” based on the dinosaur scenes.

And even without a story line, this Disney is a favorite.

9. PINOCCHIO (1940)
This is one of my favorite Disney story lines, and more than anything I love how the characters are drawn… I don’t like cats but Figaro is a cat you want to cuddle, only Disney artists could create a flirt in the form of Cleo the goldfish, and Monstro as the whale frightened me when I was a kid… but my favorites in the cast were Stromboli the “impresario” and Lampwick the juvenile delinquent.

And yes, I have a soft spot for Jiminy Cricket, too. You got to love “small folk”. And his rendition of When You Wish Upon a Star garnered an Academy Award for the Best Song.  

n.b. The voice for Honest John’s side kick Gideon is Mel Blanc. His voice would flower in Warner Brothers cartoons as every character under the sun.

10. ROBIN HOOD (1973)
I guess it starts with the story line. So this is easy, I have always enjoyed the Errol Flynn film & this Disney pretty much sticks to that script. But this movie makes the Top Ten because of the strong vocal cast.

My favorite is Pat Buttram as the Sheriff of Nottingham… he sounds like he could be Sheriff of Mayberry or Dodge City. Then, Carole Shelly gives Lady Kluck (the ample Hen) a delightful Brogue.

The rest of the cast includes Phil Harris as Little John, Andy Devine (Roy Rogers’ old side kick) as Friar Tuck, Ken Curtis (Festus Hagen on Gunsmoke) as Nutsy, George Lindsay (Goober on Andy Griffith/Mayberry RFD) as Trigger, Roger Miller as Allan-a-Dale… and rounding out the cast with Terry Thomas as Sir Hiss and Peter Ustinov as both King Richard and Prince John (too bad they couldn’t get Claude Rains to reprise his role as the usurper Prince John).

I also enjoyed the little rabbit children… each well drawn… and their mannerisms were a perfect match for would be human counterparts.

Good stuff.

***********

I guess that’s ten. I should quickly say that there are at least another ten that I could add and rank. Peter Pan, Dumbo, The Rescuers come immediately to mind.

Although I ranked these films in specific order, do not look for a detail explanation as to why I put Little Mermaid ahead of Lion King… it just ain’t happening. And besides… I could change my mind.

I should also note that the nature of animation is changing… in addition to traditional cartoons (which are the only ones described here), there is “claymation” and “pixalar” (?). The latter technology behind Finding Nemo.

Zack and Shaina have both mentioned Nemo, and I love it, too… my allegiance is to the animated classics.

Prior to writing I canvassed my kids regarding their favorites and the like… Zack’s top four: Jungle Book, Aladdin, Lion King and Nemo. Shaina: Cinderella, Little Mermaid, Mulan and Lion King. Suzy was less committal… although she said that she enjoyed those Disney’s that featured a “Princess”: Sleeping Beauty, Aladdin, Little Mermaid and Snow White.

But Suzy also noted our mutual love of the English claymation version of Wind & the Willows (which is not a Disney)… and while Disney has a version of this classic child’s tale, we still prefer the English version.

Alright… Look to the left and right (and behind)… no one is looking. What is your favorite Disney? Go ahead… I promise not to tell anyone.

Posted in Entertainment | Leave a comment

The Sales Force

You know how it is… on the way to work you stop at your favorite place to pick up a bacon-egg-and-cheese-on-a-hard-roll, a large coffee, the morning paper and a powerball ticket.

It’s your favorite place because it’s nearby (or at least en route), Jimmy knows how to not over cook your egg, and perhaps, most importantly, it’s a place to engage in 3-4 minutes of conversation with a casual acquaintance or two — the score of last night’s game, the weather or something from page one.

Some of the folks waiting in turn are tradesmen… you see their vans and trucks squeezed into the parking lot… painters, HVAC men, electrical guys, GCs, lawn & maintenance crews…

And then there is this guy with shined shoes, pressed slacks, dress shirt open at the collar and a suede jacket, his hair is neat and combed straight back, toothpick peeking out from his lips…

He exchanges his opinion with last night’s game with Jimmy & the plumber while he waits for his egg and double bacon well done to come off the griddle. From the sound of things he must have gone to High School with the plumber… they also share words on the fortune of their old basketball team.

But obviously their roads have diverged (although it is not clear who is at an advantage). The BMW parked outside (albeit of earlier vintage) must belong to Mr. Sharpie.

So who is he? This guy who drives an older BMW?

He’s got to be a salesman of some stripe. And you have just caught him removed from his element.

This is his “locker room” and he is prepping himself to go on to the playing field… to put black below his eyes, to steel himself for the contest ahead… to the challenges of his chosen path… to make the sale.

Look at him closely. He bears the countenance of someone who travels from point “A” to “B”… hoping to surpass last month’s figures, to surpass last year’s figures… each landmark already an improvement. He can’t be at ease (he is working that toothpick to shreds). Yesterday’s success, if it was there, is now a mirage.

Maybe he sells pharmaceuticals, kitchen appliances, fancy stereo equipment, health insurance… maybe even fancy BMWs!

But he is in sales.

And you have just caught a glimpse of him in an unprotected moment away from his brethren… away from the cloistered existence of his calling.

Look at him again… imagine his conversations with his “brethren”… sure it may begin with yesterday’s game. But eventually it reverts to business… comparing sales, talking “shop”, perhaps thinking about the next regional sales meeting when other salesmen (representing their companies) gather to hear boring presentations and eat & drink on the house.

Look at him again adjusting the collar of his shirt.

Each day simply leading to the next… perhaps if he’s lucky, better than the next guy, he can earn a trip to the big national conclave in Las Vegas.

Days of countless figures to meet.

Days of hoping that your figures will at least cover your draw.

Look at his eyes.

Never at rest. Sipping from his coffee… the forced laugh. Stirring his large Colombian Dark Roast beyond its need. More laughter, smaller this time, a cock of the head and then a raised eyebrow… the High School Coach will retire at the end of the year.

Maybe this guy doesn’t want to leave Jimmy’s Deli… doesn’t want to punch the clock yet… doesn’t want to be near his fellow sales associates… the most recent colleague coming from a competing firm, and replacing a departed colleague who has joined another competing firm. Interchangeable parts.

The cup of coffee is stirred yet again… anything to delay the departure, anything to delay the true beginning of the business day. Maybe it’s just the reluctance to simply see the familiar faces of the fellow members of the sales force, its managers, its support staff. And maybe it’s fearing the lack of success.

But his eyes never cease moving from one place to the next… one more look at his coffee… he collects his egg with double bacon well done, picks up a pack of gum… pays his tab, throws a good word to Jimmy and a “see ya next time” to the plumber.

Outside, he glances to the sky. Paces quickly to the BMW… a member of the sales force once again.

Posted in Life | Leave a comment

Punch the Sky

I love to watch Tiger Woods play golf. I want him to win. I want him to win every time he plays. It’s the way I felt about Arnold Palmer when I was a kid.

I no longer play golf. But when I did, I rarely watched it on TV… it was nigh impossible to follow the flight of the ball & coverage of a tournament was limited to the final 5 or 6 holes.

There is a big difference in watching golf on TV today… in watching Tiger launch a rocket from the tee, as opposed to watching Arnie years ago nail a fairway wood to the green. Thank you technology.

Watching golf is infinitely better today. Better equipment, better angles… easier to follow the ball’s flight path… and coverage begins on the first hole.

I will catch the last day of a Grand Slam tournament… particularly if Tiger is still in the hunt. I’m going to watch Tiger. I’m going to root and twist my body to make that 20 ft birdie putt drop… and if the putt lips the cup, I’ll toss my hat down… and if the putt curls into the cup, I’ll jump up and punch the sky! Yes, I want him to win.

Golf on TV is one thing; but playing it is another matter. And as I say… it’s been years since I had a 7 iron in my hand. But there isn’t a time I watch Tiger pursue a winning trophy that I don’t remember playing golf with my Dad and Paul at Racebrook

To this day I can remember specific shots on specific holes. Each time I recall that perfectly placed drive to right on the 7th hole, I think of Paul and Dad & summers of sun and mixed clouds.

And at the conclusion of the round, regardless of the golfing success of the given day, the Club House and the Grill Room awaited.

I think I was sixteen when I was allowed into the Grill Room at Racebrook… back then it was the Men’s Grill Room. No women… not even on waitstaff.

Go ahead. Drink your beers or your gin ‘n’ tonics, play cards… fart, swear and tell dirty jokes to your heart’s content.

Paul and I were there to eat (although he taught me how to play poker dice). We developed a routine… we would order three cheeseburgers between us, fries (which were potato fries, thick, well done on the outside & tender on the inside)… and then importantly one of two accompanying beverages: a black cow or a razz lime.

Black cows… simple: root beer with vanilla ice cream (I have also heard this referred to as a brown cow… but I think that was made with Coca Cola). At Racebrook the vanilla ice cream had a lush richness that vaulted the black cow to a different level.

Razz limes… also simple: raspberry soda in a tall glass with a generous wedge of fresh lime perched on the rim of the glass. Real simple. Real tasty.

Paul and I had many a black cow and a razz lime. And when we scarfed down our cheeseburgers and ordered a second razz lime we would have recounted a particular shot on a particular hole that gave us joy… a perfectly lofted 9 iron from the rough on the 4th hole that put me 2 ft from the stick. Arnie couldn’t have done better! Hell… Tiger couldn’t have done better! A razz lime never tasted better.

Razz lime… red “kid’s drink”? I don’t think so! The lime elevated it somehow… made it adult… made it better… made it perfect like that 9 iron on the 4th.

So let’s say that Tiger is one up on the final round of the Masters and on the par five 15th he puts his second shot five feet from the cup… I will smile and punch the sky.

But in truth, while I want Tiger to win another Green Jacket, my mind is to other places.

I punch the sky for Dad.

I punch the sky for Paul.

I punch the sky for black cows & razz limes.

Posted in Life | Leave a comment

Treasure the Day

I bumped into Brad at the Office the other night at my second office, AKA Ash Creek Saloon. I haven’t seen him much since the Yanks took it on the chin in September (or was it October?).

He ordered his usual… Coors Light, and I ordered my usual… some sippin’ whisky from Kentucky (no “e” in whisky please… we have to defer to the Scots who invented the idea).

We got caught up on news a bit and then talked about the upcoming baseball season. With our second round (actually it was his third or fourth), our gripes emerged in full colour.

So imagine it this way…

“I just had a real lousy day. Real bad. Everything that could go wrong, went wrong. Murphy’s Law times ten. Have you had a day like that?”

“Do you want to compare notes? Compare the size of our scars? The amount of blood spilled?”

“That’s a contest that you or I really don’t want to win. There aren’t winners there. And to force a comparison would do a disservice to each of us.”

So there we are… comrades in arms traveling a crossed path, perhaps…

And you are at the end of a gruesome day… peeling off the adhesive tape that kept you together… each part of your body bruised and aching, blood mixed with dried sweat, your hand unable to stop its tremble. And the natural thought is, perhaps, I wish this day didn’t happen… I don’t want to be here now, I wish to be no where tomorrow. Please take me out of this.

I wish this day did not exist.

How many days do you accumulate like this over the course of a life time? And I have come to the conclusion that even one is one too many.

Our days here are already few in number… but a blink of an eye across the expanse of time.

So be careful about wishing to remove a day in your life… about wanting to make a block of time disappear…

For sure there will be a reckoning… and a time to move to the other side of the river. Do you really want to leave days on this side?

No. I don’t think so.

Hurt for the day, sure… but treasure the day, for you will never have another chance to live that day.

Treasure the day.

Posted in Life | Leave a comment