The Ash Creek Papers

So I’m behind the times. My kids point this out to me all the time. I don’t watch TV, I don’t know the latest films, don’t know the “stars” or trends… it took me only a month to figure out that the Paris Hilton sex tapes didn’t involve a sex escapade in a suite of a hotel in France.

Oh well…

I had the good luck to finally catch up a bit with the rest of the world and took in Sea Biscuit. Good Film. And to everyone who said it… you were right.

There was a line from the film that struck a deep chord… “You don’t throw a life away just because it’s banged up a little.”

So whose life is not banged up a little? Who do you know who doesn’t suffer from the nicks and bruises of every day life? Or maybe worse? Or in someway feels physically or emotionally less than whole? Maybe you do?

Yes, Sea Biscuit is a good film. It is uplifting to witness the horse’s spirit acting as a source of healing for the lives of the owner, the trainer & the jockey. The horse Sea Biscuit made a difference.

Did you see the movie? Did it make you feel good? Oh, yes you should.

We are all precious. Banged up a little? Yeah, maybe. Hard not to be. So don’t cast too critical an eye across the table at your neighbor… nor think that the knocks that we feel on this side of the table are somehow unique.

I think we’re all banged up just a bit… some more than others. And some can take it better than others. Our lives are just too precious. Let’s not throw them away. Not our friends, not our family… not ourselves. Don’t let it happen.

We can make a difference… we can make a difference.

I can remember thinking that Mr. Spock on the original Star Trek — he half human, half Vulcan, a logically oriented being, whose emotions were buried beneath his Vulcan half — was an entirely lucky sort. Problems came up on the Bridge of the USS Enterprise, Captain Kirk needed a steady hand, someone who he could trust, someone who he could rely on… who did he turn to? Mr. Spock! Logic driven, cool, collected, not clouded by issues of the heart. Great choice! For Captain Kirk, that is… on the Enterprise…

Let’s look a little bit closer at this character… Don’t be fooled by his clear intelligence, or his pointy ears & arched eyebrows… is this suppression of emotion a good thing?

Well… maybe it is on Planet Vulcan. But we live on Earth.

So I suffer with my emotions… daily. And suffer, meaning I live with it. A day doesn’t go by that I am not keenly aware of the beauty that surrounds me… the happiness & joy I feel, or the disappointment and pain I also experience… the failure to connect to someone, the missed opportunity to say the right thing… to fail in some way make a difference for someone, of not doing well enough… oh, it hurts — the same way bringing a smile or laugh to someone’s face, or doing a job well done brings such immeasurable pleasure.

Anyway… for those who know me… I spend a fair amount of time running (or on some “cross trainer” if my “wheels” are hurting)… I actually dislike the activity greatly… but it has been a good vehicle for me… to work thru some anger, burn some calories to boot, and to think. To think about how I feel… to think about how lucky it is to experience life’s full riches… to feel the anguish of hurt and despair, and to feel the joy & excitement of love and the comfort of peace of mind.

So there you have it… the beauty of a summer day, the hum of the cicadas adding to the melody of the mid-day sun, walking along a hedge covered in honeysuckle, bees abuzz, the air thick with humidity, and the sweet perfume of those flowers encasing me… How can you not feel good? And then there is the day you struggle with a hurt, a loss, a bad turn of fortune to you, your kids… whatever.

All part of the same pie if you ask me. And my God, I wouldn’t trade it for all the bounty on Planet Earth or on Planet Vulcan.

Usually I travel “to the sun”… in the early mornings I drive East into the rising sun and in the evenings I drive West and catch the sinking sun. So Saturday Night was a bit of a novelty for me… a treat really. Work was done and it was time to shake the dust and grime from the day’s activity. Blockbuster would be my immediate destination (I needed a “classic” movie to change my bitter mood), so I traveled East on the Post Road (or North depending on your perspective or frame of reference) and to my delight I was treated to the “rising moon”.

My, was it lovely… for the colours. That portion of the sky was bathed in “wedgewood blue”. Maybe I am partial to that shade for all of the Wedgewood pieces that my mother had… a nosalgia thing. I love the hint of lilac and lavender that’s contained in the shade. Can you think of a better backdrop for a full moon? And in the early evening (more late, late afternoon) the moon is not the pristine white disk that it is when full darkness sets in. No, rather it is a creamy white — what I called “ecru” or “vanilla” in my rag trade days. So there it sat, this French vanilla ice cream orb resting (but not for long) in this wonderful wedgewood sky.

So… how can you keep your anger in the presence of such natural beauty? This I can answer: Not for long. It felt good… just to be alive.