The Ash Creek Papers

It was on my second trip cross country with the Ansonia YMCA — the one that I was joined by Gary Moss and Jay Berman (Alan’s cousin) — that one of the kids mentioned that I looked a lot like Jerry Lewis. I think I was all of 13 or 14 at the time.

Then in 1969 when I hosteled my way thru Europe with a bunch of rag tag college/high school kids I had another person remark that I resembled Jerry Lewis… so much in fact, that for the remainder of the summer I was called Jerry by one and all. To this day if someone calls out “Jerry”, I turn around.

I was never sure if it was a compliment to be said that I looked like Jerry Lewis.

But by an large, regardless of his appearance, I certainly was not a big fan of his. It never ceased to puzzle me why the French regarded him in such high esteem. But they did. They thought he was a pure comic genius on par with Charlie Chaplin. It is real safe to say that he was more popular on that side of the Atlantic, than on this one. So be it.

A couple of years ago I caught him on the Letterman Show (and it was clear that Letterman thought he was a genius, too), and then I caught him on cable (A & E or Bravo?) with that guy who interviews folks at length and entertains questions from the audience… Actor’s Studio? or Behind the Scenes? (I am terrible with names of shows these days). Anyway… listening to Lewis reflect on his years I began to warm to him… yes, this was a funny, witty & talented man… not just a silly buffoon.

I can not remember a Labor Day without the Jerry Lewis Telethon for Muscular Dystrophy. When I was a kid and watched a lot of TV, Labor Day was such a disappointing day… nothing was on! Of course this was well before Cable… and even well before station changers! So there I would be turning the dial on the TV… nothing, nothing, nothing… Jerry Lewis Telethon… nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing… Jerry Lewis Telethon.

If I knew his “connection” to the disease (one of his children? Maybe a sibling?) I have long since forgotten it. But for the longest time it seemed that the only time Jerry Lewis’ name would come up was around Labor Day and his Telethon… a one day a year guy?

Yesterday I headed home after helping Zack and Beth move into their apartment in the City. I was beat & flopped on the couch and put the tube on. I flipped thru the channels for a bit and came across the Telethon just as a key donation of some 8 million dollars was being made by the head of some big national union… And there was Jerry on camera to receive the big check (gone were the days when he would virtually never leave the set… taking the briefest of respites during the wee hours when fewer folks were tuned in).

I was floored. No longer dressed in his signature dinner jacket standing with microphone ready to break into a dance or song, there he was seated in casual attire… face and body exploded by the hormones he is taking for whatever disease that has invaded his body. What happened? Would this be his last Telethon?

Was it him? Maybe it was his kid? Is he still alive? My gosh, I don’t know… where have I been? What else have I missed?

Folks still talk of “Jerry’s Kids”… and I can think of no more fitting tribute to a person who has lent his name and talent for so many years to help find a cure.

A silly buffoon?

No… I don’t think so.

The Egyptians knew what they were doing when they made Ra the Sun God. Not as well known, they also made Murray from Woodmere the Tan God. And it is to this God that I will pay my respects to in about a half hour. I am taking Zack with me to the house in Milford… my visit will coincide with high tide… I will anoint my body with oils to make me smell like a pina colada (another old Egyptian custom… except their oils made you smell like a combination of prunes, figs & chocolate)… I will then plunge into the cold (but not icy cold) Long Island Sound for a bracing dip and then will get serious in my worship of Murray… and a secondary God… Biff… God of Grain & Hops… but will try to forestall his dark side (Barf) from entering into the afternoon’s enjoyment.

Some folks are lucky to hit LOTTO and win a ton of money. We were luckier. We hit the Lottery and won a place for our children to attend the Columbus Magnet School. Children of the wealthiest citizen in Greenwich couldn’t have provided for a better elementary school education than the education that Zack, Shaina & Suzy received at Columbus.

The school was modeled on the Bank Street School in NYC… it featured “open classrooms” and an academic core that was built on a “Social Studies Wheel”. The program allowed for growth and development at an individual pace.

And on a social basis, children were given a solid foundation that promoted self pride… pride in your heritage, pride in your beliefs, pride in your self image. Rather than teach that we are all the same… Columbus took the tack that we are all different… feel good about yourself, learn about other people… don’t feel threatened by differences.

It has been the finest lesson my children have learned at any level of education.

The “Heart and Soul” of the School was its original Principal, Art Perschino. He retired from the School System the year that Suzy moved up to Middle School. His energy and devotion to the School was pure. It was said that he couldn’t keep a marriage because of his many mistresses… and first in line was Columbus School.

The other constant “star” in the Columbus School Family was the gym teacher, Tom Kretsch.

Tom was like no other gym teacher (or athletic coach) that I have ever known. Small and slight of build, there would be a solid hand full of kids in the 5th Grade who would be much bigger than he. Much of his “instruction” was based on developing skills… and then the trickier part… teaching that competition was good; but what was better was doing the best you could, regardless of the outcome.

Tom was not of the Vince Lombardi School of Winning is the Only Thing. But his thinking was a perfect fit for the Columbus approach to improving at your own pace.

Tom was always at the School. On Family Share nights he would be there with his guitar adding to an evening, his voice not particularly strong; but softly effective… and the kids (and parents) knew that you had to be quiet if you wanted to pick up the words that Tom sang. And his songs always had a soft and poignant quality.

It was one of his tricks… other teachers might use a loud voice to control a room… Tom used a soft voice.

Friday was “All School” Meeting day… it would take the better part of the morning… and over the years I saw many a Friday Meeting. It would feature “shares” from the individual classes… maybe a skit or a song… Mr. Perschino would also hand out special pencils for anyone celebrating a birthday that week (teachers and any attending parents included)… it was truly a weekly celebration of the Columbus School Family.

And if Mr. P. could not be there the duties of Principal fell on to Tom’s shoulders. And he did a credible job.

The best School Meeting would be the final Friday of the year. It marked the “graduation” of the 5th Grade Class. And part of the “entertainment” would be a slide show of the graduating class. Tom was a “shutter bug” of the first order. He wore a Yashica around his neck the way other gym teachers wore whistles. Over the year he would have taken 1000s of candid shots of folks… the kids, teachers & the parents… shot during the day, at field trips, evening get togethers, in the class, on the playground… you name it… Tom found ways to record the growth and happiness of our children.

On the last Friday Meeting, amongst the tears and stifled sobs of the parents, we would watch the slides of our kids… set to music that Tom had rightly found appropos. Hard not to feel your eyes filling as slide after slide picked up a shot of your child, or a dear friend, and in the background Rod Stewart scratching out Forever Young.

Mr. P. retired… Tom was in the running to be named Principal. He did not make it… that honor went to Marilyn Libratore… the former 5th Grade Teacher… like Tom, a Columbus Teacher from its inception.

I don’t know if it hurt Tom. But he stayed with the School… as much a fixture as Marilyn (more actually in some ways) or as Art Perschino for that matter.

I imagine that he is still filling in for Marilyn on the odd time that she not be there for Friday Morning Meeting. That he still is doing his spring marathon with the 4th & 5th grades (wherein each student is responsible for a half mile of carrying the “olympic torch” before handing it off to another student… the route, by the by, went by each of Norwalk’s elementary and middle schools)… that he still has his “Trot Off the Turkey, Turkey Trot” the Saturday after Thanksgiving… that he is still promoting fun games that are non-competitive… and that he is still fondly remembered in the hearts of the many kids that had the opportunity to learn from him.

Tom would occasionally join our basketball group that played every Tuesday night over at the Vitam Center’s Gym. There were a couple of other Columbus parents that I had recruited over the years. And Tom played a good team game… just as I would have thought.

And then I would catch Tom at the Oyster Festival… in the “dreaded” craft’s tents. Tom had decided to put his photography skills to other uses… and began selling his photos. He is good. He has an excellent eye for both colour and composition. One year Ellen gave me a couple of his photographs as a birthday gift. It was one of the best presents she ever gave me.

But it has been a while since I last saw him… Suzy is five years out of Columbus.

And when I saw him come into the gym this morning… it gave me a thrill… I was plodding my way thru a run, with no particular joy or focus… hoping to put 4 miles up… and then I began thinking about Tom… and of course Columbus… and of course, my kids. I finished with 8 miles… a pretty good sweat.

I stopped by and chatted with Tom before heading in for my sauna. I hardly ever speak to anyone in the gym itself (the locker room or sauna is where I gab with folks, if I am going to gab at all); but I couldn’t pass up talking to Tom.

He looks great… although he wears glasses full time now giving him an “older look”… he is a year away from retirement… and then he will devote his time to his photography… do a 12 or so craft shows… and sell something here or there.

He remembered each of my kids in turn…

We wished each other the best…

And when I went into the encompassing heat of the sauna I thought about Tom… he has his health… his “marbles”… and a year from now he will retire and pursue his love of photgraphy at his leisure.

Bravo for you Tom…