Gefilte Fish in Film

Cold fish “meatloaf”… that about sums up this delicacy called gefilte fish.  A delicacy that is unappetizing in its appearance as it sounds.  Yet, for a small percentage of population (a very small percentage of the population), it is a dish that is associated with festival food that is served for Passover and the Jewish New Year.

Apart from the dish itself, it may surprise you see the numerous inclusions and references to gefilte fish in literary works and in film.

Since recently being appointed to Board of the Academy of Film & Theatre Snacks, I have access to every movie script brought to the silver screen.  After months of exhaustive research I have been able to locate countless references to gefilte fish in film.  Below, find a few of my favorites.

Ten Commandments
Pharaoh Sethi (Sir Cedric Hardwicke): Harden yourself against subordinates. Have no friend. Trust no woman.  Eat no gefilte fish.

On the Waterfront
Terry (Marlon Brando): It wasn’t him, Charley, it was you. Remember that night in the Garden you came down to my dressing room and you said, “Kid, this ain’t your night. We’re going for the price on Wilson.” You remember that? “This ain’t your night”! My night! I coulda taken Wilson apart! So what happens? He gets the title shot outdoors on the ballpark and what do I get? A one-way ticket to Palooka-ville! You was my brother, Charley, you shoulda looked out for me a little bit. You shoulda taken care of me just a little bit so I wouldn’t have to take them dives for the short-end money.
Charlie (Rod Steiger): Oh I had some bets down for you. You saw some money.
Terry: You don’t understand. I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. It coulda been gefilte fish every night.  I coulda been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am, let’s face it. It was you, Charley.

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
Butch Cassidy (Paul Newman): You know, it could be worse. You get a lot more for your money in Bolivia, I checked on it.
Sundance Kid (Robert Redford): What could they have here that you could possibly want to buy?
Butch Cassidy: Gefilte fish.

Psycho
Norman Bates (Anthony Perkins): You-you eat like a bird.
Marion Crane (Janet Leigh): [Looking around at the stuffed birds while eating] And you’d know, of course.
Norman Bates: No, not really. Anyway, I hear the expression ‘eats like a bird’ – it-it’s really a
[stammers]
Norman Bates: fals-fals-fals-falsity. Because birds really eat a tremendous lot. But -I-I don’t really know anything about birds. My hobby is stuffing things. You know that gefilte fish means stuffed fish.

Duck Soup
Rufus T. Firefly (Groucho Marx): Awfully decent of you to drop in today. Do you realize our army is facing disastrous defeat? What do you intend to do about it?
Chicolini (Chico Marx): I’ve done it already.
Rufus T. Firefly: You’ve done what?
Chicolini: I’ve changed to the other side.
Rufus T. Firefly: So you’re on the other side, eh? Well, what are you doing over here?
Chicolini: Well, the gefilte fish is better over here.

Lawrence of Arabia
Auda abu Tayi (Anthony Quinn): I am Auda abu Tayi! Does Auda serve?
Howeitat tribesmen: NO!
Auda abu Tayi: Does Auda abu Tayi serve?
Howeitat tribesmen: NO!
Auda abu Tayi: [to Lawrence] I carry twenty-three great wounds, all got in battle. Seventy-five men have I killed with my own hands in battle. I scatter, I burn my enemies’ tents. I take away their flocks, herds and gefilte fish. The Turks pay me a golden treasure, yet I am poor! Because *I* am a river to my people!

High Noon
Will (Gary Cooper): Don’t shove me Harv. I’m tired of being shoved.  I’ll pass ya’ the horseradish [for the gefilte fish] when I’m good and ready.

Becket
King Henry II (Peter O’Toole): Let us drink, gentlemen. Let us drink and eat gefilte fish, till we roll under the table in vomit and oblivion.

Shawshank Redemption
Andy Dufresne (Tim Robbins): You know what the Mexicans say about the Pacific?
Red (Morgan Freeman): No.
Andy Dufresne: They say it has no memory. That’s where I want to live the rest of my life. A warm place with no memory and plenty of gefilte fish.

Steel Magnolias
M’Lynn (Sally Field): We have this new physiatrist that comes in two days a week and of course I pick her name out of the grab bag, I have to pick something up for her tomorrow. Would you put that on the list, I have no idea what to get your father. What’s Jackson giving you, do you know?
Shelby (Julia Roberts): Gefilte Fish.
M’Lynn: Gefilte Fish, well my. Must be nice to be married to a rich lawyer.

The Public Enemy
Tom Powers (James Cagney): So beer ain’t good enough for you, huh?
Mike Powers (Donald Cook): Do you think I care if there was just beer in that keg? I know what’s in it. I know what you’ve been doing all this time, how you got those clothes and those new cars. You’ve been telling Ma that you’ve gone into politics, that you’re on the city payroll. Pat Burke told me everything. You murderers! There’s not only beer in that jug. There’s beer and blood – blood of men!
[Throws keg against wall]
Tom Powers: [Stands] You ain’t changed a bit. Besides, your hands ain’t so clean. You kill and like it. You didn’t get them medals for eating gefilte fish with them Germans.

The African Queen
Charlie Allnut (Humphrey Bogart): A man takes a drop too much horseradish for his gefilte fish once in a while, it’s only human nature.
Rose Sayer (Katherine Hepburn): Nature, Mr. Allnut, is what we are put in this world to rise above.

The Guns of Navarone
Capt. Keith Mallory (Gregory Peck): I have no time for this!
Corporal Miller (David Niven): Now just a minute! If we’re going to get this job done she has got to be killed! And we all know how keen you are about getting the job done! Now I can’t speak for the others but I’ve never killed a woman, nor eaten gefilte fish, traitor or not, and I’m finicky! So why don’t you do it? Let us off for once! Go on, be a pal, be a father to your men! Climb down off that cross of yours, close your eyes, think of England, and pull the trigger! What do you say, Sir?

She Wore a Yellow Ribbon
[Brittles knows Quincannon has been drinking on duty]
Captain Nathan Brittles (John Wayne): You got a breath on you like gefilte fish.
Top Sergeant Quincannon (Victor McLaglen): Ah, Captain darlin’. As you well know I took “the pledge” after Chapultepec.
Captain Nathan Brittles: And Bull Run, and Gettysburg, and Shiloh, and St. Patrick’s Day, and Fourth of July!

******

During my research I also came across numerous hilarious references to pilonidal cysts which I will share with you on another occasion.

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It’s That Time of the Year… Again

And no, I’m not talking about football.  It’s the time of the year when we wish, to those to whom it’s appropriate, a “Happy New Year.”  I am referring to the Jewish New Year.  Yes, yes… this is all confusing I know.  I will try to sift thru the tangle for you…

The first problem… the world is tuned into the Gregorian Calendar, which is a solar based calendar.  But the Hebrew Calendar is lunar based.  It’s why Jewish Holidays (like Rosh Hashonah… the New Year) fall on different days relative to the Gregorian Calendar.  Allow me a small digression… the traditional Chinese Calendar is also lunar.  Is it a coincidence that one of the world’s smallest cultural populations has allied itself with the world’s largest cultural population?  I think not.  It also explains why Jews eat so much Chinese food.  No mystery here… Lobster?  Not Kosher!  But Jews will sup on the popular Chinese dish “Dragon and Phoenix”, which is a combination of chicken and lobster for two reasons: 1. In China lobster is not called lobster, and 2. Phoenix is the Capital of Arizona.

So… let us proceed.  We have the vague idea that the New Year is sometime between Labor Day and Halloween.  This still doesn’t address the difference between January 1 and September Whatever for the beginning a new year.  Two points here: First, the Hebrew Calendar is older.  Second, the Sages anticipated that September is when football starts (sadly, the Sages did not anticipate the pickle it would put Sandy Koufax in).

Carrying on, there are actually two Holidays that are coupled together for the “New Year.” The first, Rosh Hashonah (the New Year) when we have a festive meal and worry about the other Holiday: Yom Kippur.  Yom Kippur (also referred to as the Day of Atonement) is when we have to fast (which is almost as bad as telling someone that they can’t pee for 24 hours), and then we have to endure an agonizingly long Service where the central lesson is that Sandy Koufax didn’t pitch in the World Series on Yom Kippur (it’s a good thing you’re fasting, because the very thought of this is enough to make you throw up).

Together these two days are called the Days of Awe, or sometimes the Days of Guilt and Worry (and in this regard, there is little to separate them from the other 363 days of the year).  Anytime leading up to the New Year, or in the period between the two Holidays, or even just after… it is permissible to wish someone a “Happy New Year.”  After all… you never know when you’ll bump into folks.

This is also the time of the year to accuse people of being Jews.  We all know what I’m talking about… folks who are trying to pass.  “Happy New Year Mr. Winston… say, wasn’t your Grandfather’s name Weinstein?”  It is also an opportunity to get rid of your enemies (this is referred to as the name libel).  Walk into the New Haven Country Club, go up to the Club Champion and say in a loud voice, “Happy New Year Shlomo!  Do you really think you’re fooling anyone with your made-up name?!”  No more tee times for Mr. Hedgefund!

The key to the festive meal is that there should be ample quantity… because in 10 days we have to fast and the Holiday meal is a way to begin taking on precious reserves.

Typically chicken soup & gefilte fish start the meal (although, personally, I begin with a well made dry martini… but I think you knew that).

Let’s focus on this puzzling and vile sounding dish… gefilte fish.

Recipes for gefilte fish can vary… but the ones that I am most familiar with call for three fish: carp, white & pike.  These fish are found in the waters of Eastern Europe (and just off shore from Miami Beach).  And as bad as they may look whole, there is nothing in the world to prepare you for the way they look at the completion of the recipe.

Quite simply, gefilte fish is cooked fish “meatloaf” served cold.  Think about a meatloaf that might use three different types of meat (beef, veal & pork) that get ground up and mixed with seasonings, shaped into a loaf, cooked and then served as “leftovers” cold from the fridge with some ketchup.  Got it?  Well… unappetizing as it sounds, gefilte fish is the three ingredient fish, chopped up, seasoned and formed into irregular lumps (not neat even shaped loafs), cooked, served cold from the fridge with horseradish.  As to the appearance… not a rich deep and inviting brown of a meatloaf; but rather a unappealing greyish taupe. 

Gefilte fish is a day long procedure to make… and it is served twice a year (if you’re lucky).  On Rosh Hashonah it is served with challah and horseradish (a condiment that makes wasabi taste like pistachio pudding), and the tears that are produced from eating gefilte fish w/horseradish are said to remind us of the Dodger Pitching Rotation.  On Passover it is served with matzo and horseradish, and the tears that are produced are said to remind us that the Dodgers left Brooklyn.

In my Senior Year at Union College I presented a paper in Erik Hansen’s Modern European History Seminar (for which I received an “A”) entitled Gefilte Fish and the Radical Left.  In the paper I pointed out that Karl Marx, Leon Trotsky and Pierre Mendes-France all publicly rejected the Bar Mitzvah as a pagan ritual (privately they complained bitterly that their Torah portions were too long and they were worried about botching their Haftorah); but each conducted their political discussions over a glass of tea and a plate of gefilte fish.  On one occasion Mendes-France, serving as Minister of Finance in the Government of Socialist Prime Minister Leon Blum, was heard commenting in Cabinet Meeting, “Excellent gefilte fish Leon… please pass the challah.”

So there you go… the Holiday repast: chicken soup, gefilte fish and the rest, as they say, is commentary.

“Happy New Year.”

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The Best Kept Secret

I loved my Aunt Meggie’s oatmeal raisin cookies.  They were firm without being hard, chewy without being soft, just enough raisins to make each one a treat… and, this was the important part, there were always plenty of them on the cookie plate.

If she came to our house she always brought cookies, and whenever we visited Meggie in Woodbury I knew that there would be a plate of oatmeal raisin cookies on the kitchen counter… and I would have to pretend  that the “greeting conversation” in the center hall was important — when all I really wanted to do was run into the kitchen to make sure that there was a plate of cookies, a large plate of cookies… a large plate heaped with cookies… cookies expressly there for my enjoyment.

That confirmed, I could get on with talk of this or that.

Meggie was my Mom’s older Sister.  Even for a little kid like me, it was easy to see that they loved one another.  Still… they each retained pride in the things they did well.  My Mother made sweaters for every one in the family.  Meggie made oatmeal raisin cookies.  And for Meggie to make a sweater, or for Mom to bake cookies would have disrupted the equilibrium in the Universe.  Anyway, this what was traditionally accepted in our family.

As much as I loved Meggie’s oatmeal cookies, there was a part of her that would scare me.  And I kept this a secret.  Meggie taught 8th Grade Science in Bridgeport.  And as a kid I thought teachers were the arch enemy.  I didn’t hate them on a human level; but I deeply resented their chosen profession.  And oatmeal cookies or not, particularly when I reached the 8th Grade, Meggie was clearly in the “enemy camp”.  I would get a monster case of the “heebie jeebies” if I detected in casual conversation, even the slightest reference to learning or academics.

My best friend Gary had an Uncle who was a dentist.  He told me that whenever Uncle Artie came over to his house, he would hide under the bed.

Yeah, I could understand that.  Uncle Artie probably didn’t know how to bake oatmeal cookies.  And if Meggie didn’t make the best oatmeal raisin cookies in the world, I would have hid under the bed, too… particularly when I was in the 8th Grade.

Now you would think that over the years, Sisters, loving one another, like my Mom and Meggie, would share in things.  Mom would help Meggie with sweater making, and Meggie would share a recipe with Mom.  Nothing wrong with sharing is there?

Or so I thought. 

But then there was the day when I was home for a weekend from Union College and I mentioned to Mom that I was going to head up to Woodbury to visit Meggie… that I wanted to lay in a supply of oatmeal raisin cookies to take back up to school.

“Meggie and Saul went into the City for the weekend.”  I was told.

“Crap!”  I knew immediately that my reaction had stung Mom.

“Jimmy, I’ll make you cookies if you’d like…”

“No, Mom… It’s OK… really.  No one can make cookies better than Aunt Meggie… I’ll pick some up next time I’m down.”  (And besides… every one knew that Meggie shared that recipe with no one!)

It was the wrong thing to say.  I know that now.  I should have accepted Mom’s offer… add this to the many regrets that I have accumulated over the course of my life. 

God Bless Mom for being resilient and understanding.  She kissed my forehead, “Yes, Meggie makes the best oatmeal raisin cookies.”

I think now, that there is a certain cruelty in living.  That in the natural order of things we expect that those who are older, will “go” before us, and when this doesn’t happen it makes the pain of their passing that much more painful.  Such was the case with my Mother’s passing.  “I guess God needed a sweater maker.”  I am sure that is what we said to ourselves in the family.  I am sure that was what was in my Aunt Meggie’s mind on losing a younger Sister.  It’s a thought that sounds silly; but it is meant to soothe the sense of loss.

After years of teaching in Bridgeport, Meggie retired to the small home that she and Saul owned in Chatham.  They loved going to Cape Cod… and Chatham was away from the traffic of Mid-Cape… a sanctuary where they could get away from the hectic day-to-day.  Although by now Saul had also passed to his greater reward.

There came a day not too long ago, when I had to get away from the “day-to-day”, and I put my Keeshond in the car to go for a visit.  On the drive I told Barney that he was going to place that had a great view of the Atlantic, and that if he didn’t lift his leg on Meggie’s blue club chair, I would give him an oatmeal raisin cookie.  You can think I’m crazy; but dogs understand this better than children.

Yes, Meggie had oatmeal raisin cookies for me.  That and a big, big hug and a kiss.  It was a hug and kiss that I knew was a product of her love for her Sister… my Mother.  And it was easy to accept… somehow it felt like I was being hugged by my Mother.

Barney scattered about.  Sniffing and smelling… excited for the new yard to explore.  He lifted his leg on the sundial as Meggie and I moved to the deck that overlooked the water.  This time I didn’t have to go racing into the kitchen to see if there was a plate of cookies for me… Meggie had placed a generous plate on the table.

“Oatmeal raisin, I hope?”

“Would there be any other?”

There was also iced-tea in a beautiful crystal pitcher… and Meggie poured each of us a glass while I pinched into the stack of cookies.  I closed my eyes to appreciate the flavor and texture of the cookie… to intensify the experience. 

But before I got a word out of thanks and appreciation, Meggie offered, “Jimmy, I have to share a secret with you..”

Uh-oh… what could it be?  Saul was a felon?  Uncle Jenks was a hit man for the mob? My Father and Mother didn’t marry? 

“I know that you love my oatmeal raisin cookies.  But what you don’t know… I got the recipe from your Mother.  You see, even as little kids I knew that your Mother had a knack for things… she could always do things better than I could… she was a better student, she dressed better, she could sew, she could knit, she told better stories, all the boys loved her, she could cook & bake… you name it.  One day she told me, ‘Meggie: I’m going to teach you how to bake oatmeal raisin cookies.’  And she did.  One weekend we baked enough oatmeal raisin cookies for the 1st Army.  And we wouldn’t have stopped unless your Mother knew that I could do it.”

Meggie looked to the sky.  She hooted and smiled as Barney shnuffled in the underbrush looking for squirrels and other quarry.  She looked to the sky again, perhaps sensing the presence of her younger Sister. “You know, once I mastered baking oatmeal raisin cookies, your Mother would never make them again.  Never, ever.  I miss her greatly.”

I munched on a cookie, as great as ever and looked to the water… somehow imagining that there existed a land far beyond the horizon where every one who we ever knew existed to their own mind’s eye… and the place would be called heaven.

“Meggie, this cookie is heaven on earth…”

“Jimmy, there is an even deeper secret that I have to share with you…”

Now, I worried… it is my nature.

“I dreaded teaching school.  Monsters!  That’s who occupied the desks.  I longed for vacations!  The kids were miserable, their parents worse and the Administration was worse still.  And each year it got worse!  When I started to near retirement I couldn’t stand going back in September… my Augusts were a wreck just thinking about going back to school.  I wanted to hide under the bed.  And when school started, I would count the days ’til the next vacation.  I hated school.”

This was too much for me to take in one sitting.  If Barney wasn’t going to pee on the blue club chair, then I would have to.  I thought about telling Meggie that her being a teacher had terrified me… how much I hated school.  I looked to the sky and then to the horizon… you know, I think that some things are just better kept as a secret.

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Five Trains Rollin’

We didn’t take and pick him up from the station everyday.  But it happened enough… so I think it was within in reason for me to think that my Father worked for the railroad.  If he didn’t drive our 1952 MGTD to the station in the morning, Mom or Mommie Soph would drive him and then pick him up in the evening on his return.  I loved tagging along.  I thought that it was cool that my Father worked for the New York, New Haven & Hartford (I would learn later that he did not).  What little kid doesn’t love seeing trains moving in the yard?  And my Dad was a part of that, or so I thought.

I think I was 7 when I took the 8:02 Bankers from New Haven’s Union Station to New York’s Grand Central (non-stop to 125th St.).  I am not sure that we took the MG to the station; but for the purposes of this story, let’s say we did.  I loved driving in the MG with my Dad, he would let me beep the horn.  On the way there, we would have stopped at Moriarity’s Garage… picked up a mechanic (maybe Mr. Moriarity himself?), I would have hopped in the tiny back and we would have proceeded the quarter mile down the hill to the station.  The mechanic would take the car back to the garage for safe keeping, and then would bring it back to the station for our return.

Dad and I boarded the dinning car of the train.  It was all new to me.  But I was impressed.  The tables had thick white cloths on them.  The Steward, in a starched white jacket, greeted my Father with a smile and a hello.  Perfectly natural, so thought I… after all my Father worked on the railroad… he probably knew everyone who worked on the train.  Dad got a cup of coffee and opened his New York Times, folding it lengthwise (in the manner of others who travel the rails)… the Steward brought me a coloring book and crayons and a glass of orange juice & a bowl of Cheerios.  Obviously, my Dad was very important.  I was in heaven.

I sat at that table.  Had my cereal… the thick cloth giving me a great surface for my book, as I carefully remained within the lines… coloring in pages that had related railroad themes… scenes of trains rolling thru the countryside, that sort of thing.  Dad caught up on the days’ news… and maybe chatted with other commuters.

It was my first ride on a train, that I can recall.  I was happy.  I had breakfast in the dinning car! I felt important… and after all my Dad worked on the railroad!

******

I would eventually learn how prestigious The Greenbrier was.  For me, back then, it was simply a destination for a short family vacation.  Paul was in College, and Lynn not… so I had to be 8 or 9 when we traveled by train from Penn Station to a station that was close to The Greenbrier… a luxurious hotel in West Virginia.  I remember very little of our stay at the Hotel itself.  Somewhere there is an old snapshot of me in jodhpurs and a small tweed hacking jacket, either on a horse, or about to get on a horse.  Improbable to say the least.

But, I do remember the train ride.  It was an overnight trip… and we had a private compartment (maybe two?).  I can remember thinking that my berth (really a lower bunk) was perfect… small and cozy.  I buried myself in the blankets… there was a small night light near the bed.  I lay still, simply letting the motion of the train ease me to sleep.  I listened to the steady sounds of the wheels clacking along the rails and the occasional squeal when we traversed an interchange.

I am sure that in the nearly 50 years since that train ride I have enjoyed other nights’ sleep that were as good.  But none were better.  Nothing can surpass the lulling motion of a train combined with the repetitious sound of rolling steel wheels crossing rail joints.

******

In 1960 Yale’s Varsity Football Team went undefeated and untied.  I was 10.  The team was captained by Mike Pyle (who became a All-Pro Center for the Chicago Bears), the QB was Tom Singleton (like Pyle a graduate of New Trier HS in Chicago) and Guard Ben Balme made All America (but washed out in the pros as an Eagle).

Our home was but five blocks from the Yale Bowl, and I saw every home game.  Yale’s final home game alternated between Harvard and Princeton.  And my parents always hosted a cocktail party for the final home game.  In 1960 it was Princeton.  And when Princeton came to town my parents’ friends, the Hiltons were invited.  Not the Hotel Hiltons… the Clothing Manufacturer Hiltons.

Norman Hilton was a grad of Princeton… and he added to an afternoon that included both Elliot and Marty Gant (the shirtmakers) & Izzy White and Henry Miller who owned men’s stores in New Haven and West Hartford respectively.

Norman was more than a supplier of my Father’s business.  He was one of his closest friends in the industry, one of his closest friends period.  And our 50 yard line seats that afternoon (albeit on the Princeton side) were due to the pull that Norman had as a distinguished alum.  I was warned not to cheer too aggressively for the Yales that afternoon, since we would be sitting behind enemy lines…

But that didn’t stop me from launching into some pre-game bravado in our living room when I told Norman that the Bulldogs were going to murder the Tigers that afternoon.  And to prove my point I was willing to bet a HO Train set that I had seen in a catalogue.  It think it cost all of $25.

Mr. Hilton, loyal alum that he was, said I was on.

Yale won, and the victory was its own reward. The thought of that train set didn’t enter my mind.  I also didn’t want to let a side bet put a hex on Yale’s chances against the Harvards the following Saturday… and I don’t recall ever bringing up the “bet” during the post game festivities back at the house.

But some time later a Tyco HO train set that had been advertised in the catalogue was delivered to our door… Norman had honored that side bet.  I had another train set at the time… a Marklin; but that set had a European look due to its German manufacture.  Tyco was American.

The set had a simple oval track, the Diesel bore the NH and color scheme of the New Haven RR and passenger cars were New York, New Haven and Hartford rolling stock!  I had 3 passenger cars and an observation car (to my knowledge, there never was an observation car on the line).  And the best thing?  It was New Haven RR!! The best thing in New Haven other than Yale!! I loved that set… and eventually added additional track, switches, other engines & cars… and built several Revel models to decorate my lay out.

But it all began with Norman’s gambling debt.

******

1969 was the Summer of Woodstock… and of our Lunar Landing (more of the latter in a minute).  It was also the summer I hosteled thru Europe with a group of other college students.  The highlight of the trip was 10 days in the Soviet Union (my first of two trips there).  Also on the itinerary were two other stops behind the Iron Curtain: Prague and Budapest.

Vienna was to be our “jumping off point” for those two cities, and to get to Vienna we planned on traveling by train from Berlin.  Our route to Vienna would cut across Czechoslovakia… and while we had visas for our stay in Prague later that month… we were detained at the Czech border because we didn’t have transit visas.  Sound fishy?  I felt like saying that the “letters of transit” were hidden in the piano at Rick’s American Cafe… but what were the chances that the Czech border guards would know about Casablanca?

The train proceeded without us while the border officials sorted out this crisis.  After all, this was the era of the War in Vietnam, Eastern Communism was still a viable force and American College students were clearly CIA operatives.  We watched the American Astronauts landing on the moon on a TV in the border station with the Czech guards.  We were congratulated for our achievements… and then informed for twenty-five dollars American each, we would be provided “temporary transit visas.”  And that’s why being a Czech Border guard was considered to be a desirable job.

The next train we boarded, nearing the midnight hour, was a local train.  It brought a new definition to the word “local”.  It made as many stops as a bus traveling on Fifth Avenue.  Each station that we pulled into looked smaller than the next.  And we were traveling in the wee hours.  Where the hell were people going?  We were crammed into the spaces with fellow proletarians… each carrying one small valise and two large shopping bags… and another bag containing food… obviously there was no dinning car set with thick white cloths on this train.  Fat salamis, onions, cloves of garlic (I think it was used as a deodorant) and the smell of warm beer filled my traveling compartment.  The only thing that was missing was a goat and an open latrine.

The added charm to this train was that it was pulled by a coal burning locomotive.  How’s that for nostalgia?  Traveling the rails the way they did in the 19th Century!  The American West, the Orient Express, eh what?  I guess I was too exhausted to appreciate this romantic form of travel… but I tell you what wasn’t lost from the train ride… coal dust.  They don’t show you that in the movies!  Did you ever see John Wayne smeared with soot?

When I got off the train in Vienna I was coated with coal dust.  I took off my sport shirt and it looked like I had a good “tan”.  So this is what Al Jolson felt like in black face?

The journey had taken four times its scheduled length… but then again, I have always enjoyed trains… I guess I was just lucky.

******

I think I was on I-84 late at night traveling back from a wine tasting when I first heard it.  I was cruising along, but just had to crank the tune up.  Maybe it was my mood?  I knew that this song… a song that I did not recognize… had that special feel.

Well, on a train, I met a dame
She rather handsome, we kinda looked the same…

I drove into the darkness.  More volume!

She was pretty, from New York City
I’m walkin’ down that old fair lane

Good guitar.  Good vocal.  No, great guitar.  Terrific drums.  Booming bass.  The road opens up.  The music demanded speed.  I loved the way the drummer changed beat half way thru the song.  The song picked up speed…

I’m in heat, I’m in love
But I just couldn’t tell her so…
I said, the train kept a rollin’ all night long
Train kept a rollin’ all night long

There are times that music captures you… you become enveloped… and then you can’t be held responsible for your actions.  You slip the jacket off your shoulders, stand on the table, move your feet as if nothing mattered but the pulsing music in your veins… or, if you’re driving in a car late at night, you just push the pedal to the floor.

Well, we made a stop in Albuquerque
She musta thought I was a cool jerk
Got off the train, and put her hands up
Lookin’ so good I couldn’t let her go

But I just couldn’t tell her so…
Train kept a rollin’ all night long

I drove further into the night fueled by the music.  No fatigue, I could have driven to the end of time.

Train kept a rollin’ all night long

******

Trains keep rollin’… oh yeah

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