I am not quite a curmudgeon; but I am working on it. Age and memory does that to citizens. We get older and sand beneath a finger nail is an irritant that we can no longer abide… Combine this with a memory of the way things “used to be”, and you’re a bonifide sour puss… and maybe well on the path to being a board certified curmudgeon… perhaps going beyond curmudgeon and all the way to Andy Rooney!
I have taken a brief review of a few items that have given me pause for thought… or even worse. I have selected a sampling for your consideration.
Our Phone System. You know… there was a time when we had the finest phone system on planet earth. It was A.T. & T. — “Ma Bell.” They had a monopoly in that form of communication. Big deal! They deserved it! They spent decades putting up all those damn telephone poles, and stringing up all that wire. And if your cousin called from Seattle, it sounded as clear as a call from your sister down the street. There was only one phone bill… if there was something wrong with your service, there was just one person to complain to. And just think… no annoying phone calls or advertising pitching competing phone systems.
Egregious Use of Cell Phones. I am not against improvements in technology… I am not advocating a return to the rotary dial phones. I think cell phones are a good thing… very helpful in emergencies… particularly on the road. But do I really need to listen to the toll taker on the Triboro Bridge on her cell complaining to her girl firend about her French manicure while she is making change for me?
“Big Box” Stores. Home Depot, Borders, CVS, Starbucks, Wal-Mart, Bob’s, Chilis, Ikea… take your pick. We have become a country of huge retail chains… for the sake of saving $2 we have sold our soul to the “big guy”. We have lost our retail individuality in a sea of faceless and exceptional mediocrity. Gone are those small individual establishment that added texture and personality to our towns. Go into Barnes & Noble, go into any Barnes & Noble… attractive store, clean, nicely lit, chairs and nooks for reading, pleasant sales help. But ask them about a book (not simply where is a book), or ask what they have read recently… Pleasant is good… but what about being knowledgeable?
Political Conventions. There was a day when Conventions meant something. There was a day when there were fewer Primary States. Candidates would actually travel to their Convention with the outcome not predetermined. States’ delegations were committed to a “favorite son”… there were speeches full of fire… deals made in “smoke filled back rooms”… speculation about the nature of the brokered deals. The good and bad of each Party was on ample display, providing the opposition plenty of material to target. What do we have now? Sanitized, highly orchestrated events devoid of spontaneity and refreshing individuality. Just as boring as another awards show or half time at the Super Bowl.
Egg McMuffin. Do you know how great Eggs Benedict is? Has there ever been a more perfect brunch dish? Brunch itself, the most sophisticated meal of the week… not breakfast, not lunch. And perfectly enjoyed on Sunday, or on feast days like New Years morning. Bloody Marys or Champagne added to set the proper tone to the repast. Good linen, handsome flutes, cut crystal, flowers on the table. Having Eggs Benedict was a focused and premeditated activity. Hollandaise, after all, is made fresh (or it shouldn’t be used). And now McDonalds creates its “Breakfast Sandwich”… the Egg McMuffin. No, Hollandaise is not part of the deal. Still, it’s too close to the “authentic” dish for comfort. Too easy to buy it, too easy to wolf it down on the way to the train station. It has made something special into something common and ordinary.
OK… go ahead, move my game piece ahead two squares on the sour puss gameboard. I have a far ways to go before I get to Boardwalk… or should I say curmudgeon… Well, maybe not that far… especially if I roll doubles.