I know what you’re thinking. I’m still bugged by the “Pluto thing.” And I am. Just the other day I was at the mall, and there were these teenagers handing out brochures in support of the discriminated against planet… “Jews for Pluto”, apparently they were looking for folks to sign some sort of petition, or maybe to join a club?
Jews for Pluto, Jews for Jesus… yeah, we got Jews for everything. I’m waiting ’til it’s “Jews for Scallops Wrapped in Bacon” before I sign anything.
But my ill mood goes further than Pluto. Maybe it has to do with only having two left socks in my drawer this morning.
Or how ’bout this: We don’t have enough doubleheaders. When I was a kid Sundays were filled with doubleheaders… now they are added to the schedule to make-up for earlier cancellations (and not usually on a Sunday). It’s no longer a premeditated thing. I have never gone to a doubleheader; but I liked knowing that they were there. Fewer doubleheaders… that could be enough to send me into a funk.
No, that ain’t it.
Labor Day? That’s probably the cause. Even as a kid I didn’t like the day. It marked the end of the Summer and the beginning of school… and who wants to go back to school? Not even teachers want to go back to school! Just ask Sandy.
Let’s take a closer look at Labor Day.
Labor Day had its origin in the 1880s. The Knights of Labor organized a Parade on September 5, 1882 in New York. Subsequently there was some debate as the appropriate day to honor those in the work force. For the rest of the World (read that as Europe), the day was May First. For us it became the first Monday in September. And somewhere along the path a “day off” was added to make it official.
Then consider this… if Labor Day marks the end of Summer, and it can fall as early as September 1 or as late as September 7, and if the Autumnal Equinox doesn’t fall until September 22 or 23, it means that we have 15 to 22 days of seasonal purgatory when we are in neither Summer nor Autumn.
Well, hell… that’s upsetting.
Then add this… many school districts start before Labor Day! So much for Labor Day acting as the conclusion of the Summer vacation… it is now reduced to the status of just a day off. And it’s not really as much fun as St. Patrick’s Day which, while not a day off, at least features great food and great whisky… and everyone wears something green and carries on singing songs and getting into fights.
Labor Day? It’s no longer a big deal. Maybe it would be better if we all wore blue, watched a doubleheader, drank beer and got into fights while someone played the bagpipes.
Or maybe if we changed Labor Day to “Hurrah for Pluto Day”. We’ll get Burt Bachrach to change the lyrics of the song to: “when you get caught between Pluto and New York City…” Then we could move the celebration to the Eve of the Autumnal Equinox… then move the day of honoring the work force to May 1 (when the rest of the world does)…
This is beginning to make some sense…
I feel better already.
What do you think is a better way to celebrate Pluto… with Bourbon, or with Bourbon and a splash of branch water?