I can remember the time that I was known as “Sid Winston’s Son”. Yesterday I was known as “Zack Winston’s Father”. It wasn’t the first time either. And now that I think about… I have also been “Shaina’s Dad” or “Suzy’s Dad”… Part of life, I guess.
It’s better now.
Let’s face it… part of who we are is defined by our connection to others. We’re this one’s son, that one’s brother, this person’s friend, that girl’s Father & so on. Hopefully that connection is a positive one.
My Father cut an impressive swath in front of me. He had a larger than life personality. He loved the “stage”. He “played” to an audience… it could be one, it could be ten. Even before I knew him in business, he charmed the pants off of my friends.
Well… you know how it is… as a kid you don’t appreciate this stuff. In fact, it’s a bit embarrassing, it’s a bit intimidating. How can you follow in those foot steps? For a shy kid like me, sometimes it was actually saddening.
Then you join your Father in business. It’s no longer girls in 8th Grade telling you how cool your Dad is… it’s Tom Watson, Board Chair of I.B.M., or Bill Hewitt, Board Chair of John Deere & Co., or Jack Dorrance, Board Chair of Campbell Soup, or Roy Chapin, President of American Motors, or Lew Foy, President of Bethlehem Steel, or Cary Grant… all customers of ours, all telling me how great my Dad is…
And that was just the beginning… all of the folks in the “Trade”… Manufacturers, Fabric Merchants & the like who praised Dad’s taste and skill in building a business from the ground up.
It’s all part of the maturing process, I suppose… what embarrassed me at age 12, slowly was converted to a source of pride. It wasn’t necessarily a smooth path to that pride… I fought it at times, and in some respects, continue to fight it today.
But you get to certain junctions… you get to that “door”. Yes, I recognized that the door had been opened to me because of my Father… that I was be given the benefit of doubt because of my Father.
And folks, I have learned that there few things in life as valuable as the benefit of the doubt. In much, my Dad gave that to me… served up like a juicy fastball right over homeplate.
I am not saying that I always enjoyed living in his shadow. But there came a time when I emerged from that shadow… but even more important, there came the time that I could appreciate both the light and shadow of the figure he cast… and there came that time when I had a better understanding of where I stood.
Yesterday was a different venue, different experience… there was a different person blazing a trail for me — it was Zack. Yesterday, I was Zack’s Dad. Yesterday I drove to the fleshpots of New York City. Yesterday I put together a Wine Tasting for Harris Beach, the Law Firm where Zack worked ’til moving to the other coast. The invitation to conduct the Tasting wouldn’t have been extended if it hadn’t been for Zack’s presence (even in absentia).
What can I say? The Tasting went very well. I wish I had a nickel for everyone who came up and told me how highly they thought of Zack… and how much they missed him
I had a clear drive back to Connecticut… the FDR, the Major Deegan, the Cross County, the Hutch & the Merritt all lay open to me… absent annoying traffic. Good time for thinking.
I have decided that at my age I am a quick study on this “pride thing”. It took me a bit to warm up to being “Sid’s Son”… it’s easier by miles being Zack’s, or Shaina’s, or Suzy’s Dad.
My kids are great. They are a continuing source of pride to me. And if the occasion arises and if they open up a door for me… it’s a good thing.
It’s really a whole lot better now.