It’s Not Just About Wrestling

During my run the other morning I watched “free style” wrestling at the Olympics. This is close to our collegiate wrestling, maybe it’s the same.

I have always enjoyed the sport. Union had a decent team, and a guy who lived next to me my freshman year wrestled… and we would always go to the gym to cheer him on.

You know it’s funny how things work out. I love basketball… and yet I think I saw fewer than five games my entire four years at Union. And yet, I don’t think I missed one wrestling match in that same time.

Paul wrestled at Union. He never competed in it at Hopkins. But the Coach at Union saw him lifting weights one day and recruited him. His wrestling career was marked by one feat… he was never pinned. He would often be inserted into a match just for that reason… he might not win; but he wouldn’t be pinned. Sort of like giving up a field goal and not a touchdown.

Paul had this thing with me… I would be his guinea pig. Our home at 25 Alston was a “Center Hall Dutch Colonial”… it in fact had a center hall… upstairs and down. And the upstairs hall must have looked like a small workout room to Paul. It would be there where he would take me to practice his wrestling moves… which in this case only involved par terre: the position where one wrestler is on the mat (par terre) and the other wrestler is on top.

He would practice his escape moves… and then we would reverse the roles. He was 20 at the time and I was 9. We were different weight classes back then. I was no more than an animated dummy.

He would also take up Judo (went on to a black belt)… After his lesson with Mr. Yamasaki, I would be pressed into dummy service again… put on the guinea pig suit.

Then there was the day he came home from school… proud of a new skill. He could throw a curve ball. So we went to the front steps (it, as everyone knows, is the perfect backstop if you don’t have a catcher handy) & Paul marched an appropriate distance away, and then began throwing me curve balls with a tennis ball. Now he was very, very proud of this… and I was not a good baseball, soft ball, wiffle ball player. No matter. I took my cuts with a thin wooden wiffle ball bat, and in fact launched a mammoth shot that took off on a parabola that cleared the Polasky’s house across the street. It think he was just as proud of my hit as he was of being able to throw a “deuce”.

Paul taught me to play chess. I was not good at it.

One time he came home with an acoustic guitar. He had taught himself to play… or maybe strum is a better word. This was back when “folk singing” was a big deal. We would go upstairs to our room (we shared the bedroom now that I was out of Mommie Soph’s room) which was off the “work out room”, and he would practice for me… struming thru Kingston Trio songs… and things like The Good Ship Reuben James.

His playing was not good, his singing was worse.

In our backyard basketball hoop he would meet his match. No, I could not jump higher than him, nor would I ever be able to. But it wasn’t long before my hands were better able to control the ball. I could reverse layup… he could not.

So, my big brother is a grandfather now… and I guess that makes me a great uncle (of sorts).

It was nice seeing him on Sunday… nice being close to the family…Seeing the next generation added to our family ladder. It makes me feel proud, it makes me feel good.

And it felt pretty good watching the American show that Moldavian a thing or two on the wrestling mat that morning… just as Paul did to me in our upstairs gym some 44 years ago.

Anyway… just a couple of thoughts that got kicked around in the “attic” today.

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Joke Clinic #38: The Failed Punchline

This funny stuff is a tough business. But luckily I have been rescued by one of our legion who has supplied us with a classic example of Mistaken Identity. This device is the structural backbone of the many comedies of Shakespeare, Moliere & Oliver Goldsmith to name but a few.

In fact it may have been the only humorous vehicle the people could appreciate back then… remember this is well before Freud invented Jewish angst, and centuries before the birth of Mel Brooks, Neil Simon and Woody Allen… or the discovery of the banana peel.

You think it is tough to make people laugh today? It was a lot tougher playing the “Palace” during the Black Death…”test… test… test…hey! Is this mike working? Are you out there? Does anyone here speak English? If I wanted an audience of dead people I would go outside!! You know there are all sorts of dead people lying around out there!! What did you say lady??? That’s rich, the fat lady in the front here, thought they were street mimes!!!”

Now… where was I? Oh yes… Mistaken Identity… well… there is something else about the tale included below. It is known as the Failed Punchline. This should not be confused the “Shaggy Dog” which has a long meandering story line (usually the funniest part) and then a disappointing; but at least coherent conclusion. The following illustration also has a funny storyline but totally collapses at the end. It reminds me of the film Start the Revolution Without Me… a completely hysterical movie, until the final 3 minutes…

Now you may ask… why shouldn’t I bring my considerable talents to bear (or is it bare? Maybe we should leave the potential magnitude of situation to the side)… and re-write the ending. To which I would reply… did anyone finish Beethoven’s Unfinished Symphony? Did anyone see Barry Manilow raise his hand, “Oh … teacher let me try?” I think not. Or did someone attempt to complete Dickens’ Mystery of Edwin Drood? Not even Arthur Miller tried to do it!!!

So the piece stands in its comic purity…

 

The Smiths were unable to conceive children, and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, “I’m off. The man should be here soon.”

Half an hour later… just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. “Good morning madam. I’ve come to…”

“Oh, no need to explain. I’ve been expecting you,” Mrs. Smith cut in.

“Really?” the photographer asked. “Well, good!! I’ve made a specialty of babies.”

“That’s what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and sit down. Would like coffee before we start?”

“Yes please… 2 sugars.”

When she brought in the coffee, she asked blushing, “Well, where do we start?”

“Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bath, one on the couch and perhaps a couple in bed… Sometimes the living room floor is fun too… you can really spread out!!”

Bath? Living room floor? No wonder it didn’t work for Harry and me.” She said.

“Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I’m sure you’ll be pleased with the results.”

“My, my, that’s alot of…” gasped Mrs. Smith.

“Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I’d love to be in and out in five minutes; but you’d be disappointed with that, I’m sure.”

“Don’t I know it…” Mrs. Smith muttered.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. “This one was done on the top of a bus, and this one was done on the lawn.”

“Oh my God!!” Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief.

“”And these twins turned out exceptionally well, when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.”

“She was difficult?” asked Mrs. Smith.

“Yes, I’m afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look.”

“Four and five deep?” asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement.

“Yes,” the photographer said. “And for more than three hours, too! The mother was constantly squealing and yelling… I could hardly concentrate! Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in.”

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. “You mean they actually chewed on your… um… equipment?”

“That’s right madam! Well, if you’re ready, I’ll set up my tripod so that we can get to work.”

“Tripod?”

“Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It’s much to big for me to hold for very long… Madam? Madam? Good Lord, she’s fainted!”

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The Best Songs

It took me a long time to finish this, so I want you to pay attention. This piece had its genesis in the Rolling Stone Magazine’s ordering of the top 500 albums of all time. Zack and I both created lists of our own… and then Zack generated a list of the Top songs.

Zack found this part of our musical excursion to be harder than picking the top albums. I found it just the opposite. But perhaps that it is because I am approaching it from a slightly different angle… perhaps not as seriously. But most importantly, I have decided to release myself from the shackles of a specific number of Top Tunes. Let’s just chalk it up to a father’s prerogative. And that piece has certainly made this exercise infinitely easier.

My list of “Best Songs” is not an attempt to identify truly great songs — songs that have garnered wide popularity or critical praise. No. These titles are a collection of tunes that I love to listen to again and again, and still again… years ago when I first heard them, yesterday, today, tomorrow & for many more tomorrows.

These songs suit me… they fill slots… music to dance to, music to blast in the car, music to close my eyes to — letting the words or the melody wash over me. But in any event, music that speaks to me in some fashion.

Zack determined that his list would limit one song per group or artist. Initially I didn’t like the constraint — how could I only choose one Stones’ song? I also thought that it would promote looking for your favorite song from your favorite group rather than the “Best Song” regardless. But OK, I’ll live with it.

The list below is not ordered. I just started with “Gimme Shelter” and began putting down titles and stopped when my memory gave out. Music, even “rock music”, is simply too varied to permit for a pure ranking — my enjoyment depends too much on my mood or the circumstances of when I am listening to make a #1 song really meaningful. See you on the other side.

GIMME SHELTER ROLLING STONES. A haunting guitar lick starts it off. Jagger’s vocal appears at a distance; but it is Merry Clayton’s lead vocal on the second chorus that makes the track soar. Positively chilling. This also made Zack’s listing for the same reason. Zack called Clayton’s cameo the best ever. He may be right.

SULTAN OF SWING DIRE STRAITS. I loved this cut when I first heard it on the radio, and it took me several listenings before I got the name of the band. I loved the throaty vocals, terrific guitar, and simple but clever lyrics, “They don’t give a damn about any trumpet playing band — it ain’t what they call rock and roll.”

MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE POLICE. Before I knew who Sting was, I adored this track. I would learn to look for Sting’s voice in other songs (it was a treat to hear him on Dire Strait’s “Money For Nothing”). This is not only my favorite Police song, it simply is one of my favorite songs. I love the lonliness of the lyric and the repeated ending refrain, “I’ll send and S.O.S. to the world”.

BEHIND BLUE EYES THE WHO. The entire play list on Who’s Next could make a Top Songs List. Zack thought that “Won’t Get Fooled Again” nudged this out, I believe it’s the reverse. I love the slow start and the strength of Daltrey’s vocals, and then three quarters of the way thru Townsend’s guitar and Keith Moon’s drum kit is finally unleashed. And Townsend’s supporting vocal supplies the perfect fill. But it is the guitar that gives me the chills.

CROSS ROADS BLUES CREAM. This maybe the perfect song for me. Other groups could point to a great lead guitar, or a great drummer. The Cream not only featured a tremendous guitar (“Clapton is God”), a drummer without peer at the time (Ginger Baker — his trap set looked like a frigging fortress); but the Cream had the supreme bassist in Jack Bruce. And I can think of no song that better showed their extraordinary musical talents than “Cross Roads”. Not some studio cut either, something that could have any number of takes, double tracks, over dubbing, or in some way engineered to excellence. No. “Cross Roads” is purely live. Bruce’s lovely tenor vocals are not on display, rather we get a better glimpse of Clapton’s skill in handling a classic blues tune… a talent that would blossom in the succeeding years. And another thing… as good as Clapton’s guitar solo is, as wonderful as Baker’s cymbal work is, it is Bruce on bass that sets the standard. I have never, ever heard a finer bass line. Unreal.

CAN’T FIND MY WAY HOME BLIND FAITH. Sure Clapton was playing guitar and Baker was on the drum kit; but this is a song about the greatness of Steve Winwood’s vocal… the fragile and vulnerable quality to his voice, and in this instance, paired with a lyric that is an anthem for souls in search of a safe harbor.

STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN LED ZEPPELIN. I am not a big fan of Zep; although I have always found Robert Plant’s vocal style similar to the Who’s Roger Daltrey… and I like Daltrey a lot. But I have always loved this tune. I love its transitions, its pace and length — it all works. And the image of a stairway to heaven is quite pleasing.

SCENES FROM AN ITALIAN RESTAURANT BILLY JOEL. Another song with great transitions and when he cranks up the speed we are introduced to a retrospective of Brenda and Eddie… Their story is emblematic of young relationships of the 50s (before the War in Viet Nam transformed our lives). A Joel tour de force (and it edges out a sentimental favorite of mine “Lullaby” for its inclusion on this list). I am glad it made Zack’s list, too.

YOU’RE MEAN B.B. KING. This is a monster cut off the “Completely Well” Album. Sure talk about B.B.’s guitar playing; but what about his voice? Oh so silky. But on this cut it is kick back the table we’re playin’ da blues. B.B. shares the stage with Hugh McCracken on the second lead guitar (and you thought Clapton and Allman on Derek and the Dominoes was good). Find me better trade-offs… you can’t. The track goes for some ten minutes with B.B. at one point telling his fellow musicians, “you guys are killing me”, as they launch into yet another solo. These guys aren’t working — they’re having fun! And it doesn’t get better than that! By the by, the keyboard player was in my class at Union College.

FREE BIRD LYNARD SKYNARD. I will confess up front to not knowing about the technical merits of one guitar solo over another. I do know what pleases me. Are there better guitar solos than the one contained in this song? Perhaps. But I tell you what… if I am driving home late at night, and if I am on an open stretch of road, and this songs comes on? When the guitar solo kicks in, I’m putting the pedal to the metal, I’m turning the radio to full blast — and I’m going to plunge into the darkness and get lost in that solo. Do you know what I mean?

DO YOU FEEL LIKE I DO? PETER FRAMPTON. First let me say that I first heard Frampton play guitar for Humble Pie at the Fillmore East. I think he was 18 at the time. Next, OK there is the vocal gimmick on the song, and his wah wah. But what do I really love? It’s the steadiness of the bass — it keeps everything on line… low and modualted. The audience reaction is also key, and when the rest of the group re-joins for the final refrain the power has built to a bursting crescendo. Great stuff. Also suitable for the “open road”.

IT’S MY OWN FAULT JOHHNY WINTER. There has never been a finer version of this tune recorded. And it ranks just in back of Cream’s “Cross Roads” as the best live recording of a blues number. Winter’s voice has a wonderful edge; but my gosh, listen to the guitar… wonderful trade-offs with Rick Derringer. Folks, it doesn’t get better than this. Turn down the lights, pour yourself another whisky and let the solos play thru your soul.  

TRAIN KEPT A ROLLIN’ AEROSMITH. The first time I heard this on the radio it was late at night & I was driving back from some wine tasting in some out of the way hamlet. The song cooked; but who the hell did it? I picked up the name of the band on the “outro”: Aerosmith. Aerosmith? Zack was more acquainted with the group than me… I would put him on the trail… find me the name of the tune, get me the album title. If I recall he proved useless in the task. But find it, I did. I love the change in tempos mid-way thru. Great drum kit, earthy vocals… oh, crank it up!! Into the darkness, faster & faster.

LOVE SHACK B-52s. Great dance tune. Great female/male vocals. But it’s the level of excitement that makes this song… a clever lyric and a spectacular ending refrain “bang, bang, bang on the door…” Dance hard, dance fast, feel the music, sweat dripping from your brow. This is music the way it’s meant to be… hum it, sing it, move your feet… feel it!

DOCK OF THE BAY OTIS REDDING. Or as we referred to him at Union: “The Late & Great, Otis Redding.” So forgive me if I’m trapped in nostalgia. But I can think of no other song that better returns me to my days at Union… to Ellen coming up for a weekend, Fraternity parties on Friday, Saturday football or lacrosse, dinner, concert, more Fraternity parties… dancing, dancing… and an Otis tune would always be there. You sweated thru the fast numbers, time to change the pace, slow down, get close… it’s “Dock of the Bay”. Please. Do you think I could forget?

SWEET BABY JAMES JAMES TAYLOR. So how many groups/artists are left standing from my music “hay day”? And how many of the vocals today are as good as the vocals from years ago? I love the Stones; but I am under no delusion that Mick is as good today as he was 30 years ago. James Taylor is the “Dorian Gray” of music. This guy sounds as terrific today as he did when I first heard this cut some 30+ years ago. And this song? Yes, I love it… maybe for the sweet pedal steel of Red Rhodes; but maybe more the lyric, “the snow covered the Turnpike from Stockbridge to Boston”; and I can remember traveling that stretch of road many a time to see Ellen.

TOUCH OF GREY GREATFUL DEAD. Zack hit me with this bit of trivia: this is the only Dead song that was released as a single. I am not a “Dead Head”; but man do I love this tune. I loved hearing it late at night when I was cleaning up the bar at Arturo’s — 1:00AM, say — part of a day that had begun at 5:00AM. And to hear the refrain, “I will get by…” Oh, the song spoke to me. And so did Jerry Garcia’s guitar solo at the tail end of the song. And there is only one song to descibe that solo: “sweet”.

BOXER SIMON AND GARFUNKEL. I agree with Zack completely. This is their song. The power of the sound is imbedded in the lyrics and I love the repeating phrase, “by the li, by the li, li, li, li, li, li…” So who is the better “poet” — Dylan or Paul Simon? I’ll put my money on Paul Simon (I could care less how many of the greats covered Dylan). The “Boxer” is not only well written; but it is beautifully sung.

IT’S A BEAUTIFUL DAY U2. I love the way this song builds to a peak and deposits us to its uplifting message, “It’s a beautiful day!” My gosh. It releases my soul, clears out the torment, like the sun breaking thru a thick cloud bank. Yes, play this song… play it on the road… play it loud… let it wash over you. Hey… wasn’t Bono married to Cher?  

HOUSE OF THE RISING SUN THE ANIMALS. I think it was Art Riccio who told me that this was the ultimate “slow dance” song. This would have been 1967. And for the next 30 years whenever I heard this played out, I would take Ellen to the dance floor. This song was actually written for a female to sing… it didn’t bother Eric Burden… and it didn’t bother us, as we slowly moved… perhaps taking a breather from the fast stuff, perhaps just wanting to feel the closeness of someone we cared for… moving ever so slowly in the dim light to Burden’s earthy voice, “There is a house in New Orleans…”

BEAUTIFUL STRANGER MADONNA. Yes, I like the song. I like many of Madonna’s songs. She has nice material, and there is a “hummable” quality to her music. But that is not why this song is included here. No. It’s the video (first of two included herein). Yes, the Austin Powers cameo provided humor. For me? I loved the way Madonna moved. And if you are man, and have any red blood flowing thru your veins, then you do, too. The mind is a beautiful thing… and every time I hear this song I can see Madonna moving, and my gosh can she move.

BEAT IT MICHAEL JACKSON. The second of my video entries. It’s a good commercial piece to begin with. Jackson’s arrangements are always tight. But man, do I love this video. Great staging. A West Side Story, the Sharks vs. the Jets thing… the guitar smoking during its screaming solo. wonderful theatricality. And Michael Jackson can move, too ya’ know… the man was a good entertainer. And as an aside, if you love this video, you HAVE to adore Weird Al Yankovic’s send up: “Eat it!”

GRACELAND PAUL SIMON. I love his guy’s music — with, or without Art Garfunkel. And if I dwelled on it long enough, I would probably list 3 other songs that are “better”. But sometimes a lyric hits the mark, the image is right, and the sentiment expressed fills you… “losing love is like a window in your heart — everyone knows you’re blown apart, everyone sees the wind blow…” How this song has played to me over the years.

ON THE TURNING AWAY PINK FLOYD. I had to ask Zack, my personal Floyd consultant, for the name of this tune. Pink Floyd was on the “edges” of my peak music period. I have always enjoyed “Brick in the Wall” and its various versions (their subtleties are lost on me). But years ago Zack made a music mix for me, and this track was included. The “feel” of this track reminded me of the Moody Blues. I am not the Floyd fan that Zack is by light years, and this song rarely gets the air play that the other Floyd songs get; but I adore the pace of the tune, the modulated vocals, and the well written lyrics. Another song that “speaks to me.”

I’M NO ANGEL GREG ALLMAN. I am not a big fan of Greg Allman, or the Allman Brothers Band. But this song I love. I love the melody. I love the roundness of Allman’s voice, and while the particulars may not apply, the Lord knows that I’m no angel. I do love the phrase, “I may steal your diamonds; but I’ll bring you back some gold…” Real sweet guitar solo.

FIRE JIMI HENDRIX. A gut wrenching guitar lick from Jimi; but it’s Mitch Mitchell on the drum kit that detonates this song. The best drum beat since “Wipe Out”. Another song for blasting. By the by, don’t overlook Jimi’s vocal skill… that’s a sensuous voice. It would have been interesting to hear him cover classic ballads.

HERE COMES THE SUN BEATLES. An afficianado of the group I am not. But this song has always struck a resonant chord for me. I prefer Harrison’s rustic vocals to the pretty Lennon/Mc Cartney harmonies. The melody is beautiful and perfectly in sync with the optimistic lift of the lyric… “Here comes the sun, here comes the sun… and I say, It’s alright!!” I know I am in the minority; but I think that Harrison was the best of the Beatles.

DOWN BY THE RIVER NEIL YOUNG & CRAZY HORSE. There is a melancholy quality to Neil Young’s waivering vocal that I have always appreciated. But there is nothing melancholy about his guitar — it smokes. I love the space between the bass and guitar trade-offs… the bass lays the canvas, and the guitars paint the picture. These are solos that you close your eyes to.

SUMMER OF ’69 BRYAN ADAMS. This is a “blasting” song folks. Yes, part of it is a nostalgia trip. Written after I went to Union; but making me remember Union. Do all the lyrics apply? No. The spirit is certainly there: “Nothing will last forever…” & “… those were the best days of my life…” Yes I play this song as loud as I possibly can bear… waiting for the crack in the snare drum to launch me to the nether world.

AND SHE WAS TALKING HEADS. Tap your feet, move your shoulders, head & your hips, too. I can never sit still when I hear this song and that why I adore it. I can tell you virtually nothing about the track or the artists that are appearing on it; but love it, I do… I’ll hear it at the gym, on the radio… wherever… it energizes me.

I’LL DO ANYTHING FOR LOVE MEAT LOAF. Goofy song, sappy sentiment but I love the song: the change of pace, Meat Loaf’s gutsy vocal and the female voice that adds the punch at the end. Just the right length… it gets me from Stamford to Norwalk… I never tire of the drive, I never tire of the song.

MISSISSIPPI QUEEN MOUNTAIN. “Mississippi Queen — do you know what I mean? Mississippi Queen… she gives me everything!” Oh, what a start to a song. Leslie West’s screaming guitar to match his throaty vocal… add a drum beat that makes your heart move. Do you have any problems? The track is too short! Music that kicks this way should go on “forever”.

LADY IN RED CHRIS DeBERG. This is my slow dance. This is a song that is all about holding a woman close, feeling her form next to yours, closing your eyes and melting into the moment. Can it get better than this? I don’t think so. It is also the reason every woman should have at least one great red dress. To this day, whenever I see a woman in red, I think of this song and imagine what would it be like to hold her close on the dance floor.

OK. So now you have it. Did I miss any? You bet I did! And given the fact that I released myself from the hand cuffs of a specific count… the only real let down is my memory. But there are a few points that should still be made.

First, Dylan. Aside from his vocals on “Nashville Skyline”, I found him positively painful to listen to. A “poet of our generation”? OK, sure. But everyone covered him better than his own versions. I love “Knocking on Heaven’s Door”; but couldn’t think of a covering artist to put into my listing.

Next, Motown. These were the songs of Union Frat parties. The songs filled our campus. Maybe no different than today, “black music” set the standard for enjoyment. Three monster hits to dance to… “Knock on Wood” by Sam & Dave, “Reach Out” by the Four Tops & “Heard it Through the Grapevine” by Marvin Gaye. Yeah, there was a legion of them. But sadly, these songs have fallen off the radar screen. I rarely hear them any more.

Next, groups that I love… but no singular song that sticks out. The Kinks (“Lola” was a near miss) and Traffic (“John Barleycorn” almost made it). And I am sure if I scratched my head I could come up with others.

Well… that’s about it from here… and looking back over the list I am reminded of a phrase Rod Stewart used in describing the songs on his album “Every Picture Tells a Story: a collection of tunes, a few sad laments and a couple of rockers.

Music breathes… don’t stop listening to it.

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Three Women in Hats

Yes, I have always been attracted by the sight of a woman wearing a hat. Maybe it’s because you just don’t see it often these days. But there definitely is an allure that is created when the face is framed or in some way partially obscured by a hat. Very seductive.

But there is more to hats and hat wearing than sex appeal… hats can be fun, practical or maybe make a simple statement… but in someway they become emblematic of something else.

And my story is of three hats… each reflecting on the wearer…

My parents had traveled to Mexico for a vacation and when they returned they brought back souvenirs of their trip. I was given one of those bullfighter’s hats… Continflas wore one in Around the World in 80 Days when he found himself in a corrida in Spain. It is a small black affair decorated with sequins and a fake black pigtail attached in the back (it was the only way I could tell which was the front and which was the back of the hat).

Back then I shared a bedroom with Mommie Soph and somehow the hat made its way into our closet.

There came the time that the Jewish High Holidays rolled around. Our family was Reform; but Mommie Soph kept to her Othodoxy when it came time for Rosh Hashona & Yom Kippur. For the Holidays she would go to one of her sisters (I think this is right) so they could walk to the Orthodox Temple.

So everyone is getting dressed to go to Temple. Our family to drive to Mishkan Israel & Mommie Soph to go to her Shul. We are all preparing to leave, and here comes Mommie Soph walking down the stairs dressed in her finery… wearing my matador’s hat.

Yes that was some sight… we all laughed. Although I don’t think Mommie Soph realized the hysterical appearance it created (maybe she was miffed at the laughter?)… Mommie Soph knew one thing… it was Rosh Hashona, she was going to Services and wearing a hat was not an option, it was a requirement (as it is in any Orthodox Temple to this day)… so what was so funny? She knew what was right… and going to Services meant you wore a hat… she always wore hat when she went to Services. And maybe it was the pure innocence of it all that made the “outfit work”. Who could deny it?

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And then there is a photograph that Lynn brought to my attention of Tiny wearing a hat & standing on a chair. It is Lynn’s favorite picture of Tiny. And she calls the picture “Tiny Fetticah”. My gosh, I hadn’t heard that name in years. Lynn reminded me that Mom would call her that… yes, yes I remember now… I had thought it was some made-up name. But now I learn the story behind the name… it was a name that Tiny created for herself as a young child because she could not say Fleischner.

I look at the picture again of Tiny Fetticah… maybe four of five at the time and the poofy hat she is wearing. Yes, a wonderful hat. But not the hat I remember most. No, for me it would have to be her Greek Fisherman’s hat. I loved seeing her in it… and it seems to me that she wore one for some time.

I loved the independence of the look. Totally unexpected. This was well before the popularity of caps worn today. No, Tiny left the “fancy” hats (that she did have) in their boxes, and she donned the cap of a simple fisherman. It became a signature and a perfect frame for her wonderful smile.

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We loved the sun, no one more than Mom. Getting a tan in our family was part of being in our family. We all were good at it, too. And say what you will, we all looked good in our tans.

But no one would get as dark as Mom. This pursuit of darkness stopped short of attempts to keep the colour for the winter. Our cousin Roz Biscoe would champion the cause of the 12 month tan. Mom would get as dark as Roz in the summer, and that would be it.

Roz would in fact die of cancer, and I believe it was related to all the sun she took in. So when Mom developed some skin cancers she knew that her sun tanning days were at an end.

No, Mom could not stay in doors, particularly when she went to Captiva. How could she collect her precious shells without going to the beach. But now she would go covered.

The sight struck me… I was so accustomed to seeing her in a swim suit “soaking in the rays”… and now I see her… she is 25 yards up the shore line, wearing loose fitting slacks, a light blouse covering her arms, she is bent over, tush to the oncoming waves that lap up to the sand and deposit their treasure trove of shells. She wears a straw hat with a big brim to keep the sun from her face…

She works meticulously and quickly in ferreting out the perfect shells… each small wave bringing something new, each small wave taking something away. And like fisherman who have the knack of knowing where the fish are, Mom has the knack of knowing where the shells are… And this is Captiva, afterall… it is to shell collecting what the Gallatin River is to trout fishing.

Soon the other “regulars” meander over to where Mom is… you know, shell picker to shell picker. No, she is not territorial in that way… lotta shells out there. I can see is chatting with another colleague who is also bent over in the shell picking position.

Mom takes a break… she stands up and sees me… gives me a wave, and even in the shade of her straw hat I can see her smile…

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You just got to love women in hats…

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