Nonsense!

Posted on June 26, 2004 by Jim

My friend Teri Ahrens’ Son-in-Law had been in the Service… and we really didn’t talk much about politics… sure concerns were there… she about Brandon, and I certainly felt Zack was at risk if the draft were re-instituted.

When Brandon was mustered out, I thought it would be ok to share some ideas with her:

Just a thought… aren’t you glad that Brandon is out of the Middle East & out of the military?

This is nuts… you would think the mistakes that the French made in Indochina, the mistakes we made in Viet Nam, the mistakes the Soviets made in Afghanistan would still be fresh in people’s minds.

Nooooooo… we have the Dick Cheneys, Don Rumsfeld’s & the Brat Bush trying to prove their manhood by flexing our Country’s miltary muscle… as if somehow this can even the score with 40 noodniks (and certainly well less than 100) who could organize crashing 4 planes in our country… so how much money can we spend, how many men can we put into uniform, employing fancy shmancy high tech ordinance to combat this threat? You tell me…

This is not fighting the Germans in WWII… this is not fighting the Japanese in WWII… these guys don’t go into battle under a flag, they don’t wear distinctive uniforms so we can tell them apart from the civilian population (we had that problem in Viet Nam, remember?)… they don’t drive tanks (because they don’t have them), they don’t fly war planes (because they don’t have them), they don’t have a navy…

Yet they kill our people every day.

So our esteemed President & his Father before him, got us all in a bother because of some sleazeball dictator with a fucking big mouth (who the CIA probably has been supporting for decades) is making threats & had to be taken seriously… The U.N. couldn’t find anything… Jesus Christ — WE CAN’T FIND ANYTHING!!! You would think that we would at least have the creativity to plant some Godamned evidence! Noooo!

And now we are to bring Liberty and our benevolent form of Democracy (which is, as we all know, something every human being who walks this planet deserves… whether they like it or not) to the ever grateful Iraqi people.

We should gather all the living relatives of our men and women who layed down their lives in the Middle East and bring them to an open amphitheatre… then on a hot summer day, with the sun nearing its apex, we will bring George Bush & Dick Cheney to the center, strip them naked, cover them with honey, and stake them on top of red ant hills.

Al Sharpton is looking better and better…

Oh well… maybe it’s just my age… you know, early onset of cantankerousness… pretty soon I will be peeing in my pants.

And for the record… I used to be a Liberal Democrat; but there is a line from Romeo and Juliet that I favor these days… “A plague on both their houses!!”

That’s how I see it from this corner…

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A Road Well Traveled

Posted on June 16, 2004 by Jim

You can travel the same stretch of road day in, day out, week after week, month after month & season after season until you know it the way you would know the path from your bed to your bathroom… you could do it with your eyes closed.

I suppose the Merritt Parkway from Stamford to Norwalk is that way for me… Exit 34 to Exit I Forget (it’s either 39 or 40… sorry, I have a mental block). My favorite part of the journey is not technically on the Merritt; but rather on the connecting ramp that turns South onto “Super 7”.

But I do have a favorite part on the Merritt proper… it’s the “ridge to ridge” drive going North just before the Long Ridge Rd Exit (#34) to just after. I reckon the distance to be just about a mile… a nice down hill into the “valley”, and then a good up hill… not exactly Switzerland; but nice for Connecticut Suburbia.

My favorite scenes are early in the morning before the sun breaks thru the horizon, when a thick mist can enshroud the low lying areas in the “valley”, obscuring the trees… and the lights of the on coming cars traveling South look like pearls dropping from the sky.

This morning I was treated to yet another wonderful sight. It’s seems like it’s been months in the making. Maybe I was just unlucky? Getting up too early or too late to see the early morning gifts that Mother Nature presents us. Or maybe it was too cloudy when the timing would have been right? Who knows these things.

It only becomes obvious when you finally hit it right. And today I did. Yes, a mist had settled below… perhaps a forecast of the humidity that we would feel for the day. The greens of the trees were muted to sage, eucalyptus & bottle green, their trunks a sombre grey. And as luck would have it, there were no cars traveling in either direction… it was just me. Nothing to distract me.

I look to the other “ridge”, and then to the sky. A thick swath of pink lay just above the tree line, which then gave way to grey, then to be interrupted by another ribbon of coral pink… to a pale grey canvas with a few streaky clouds kissed with the lightest of pink under bellies.

In a blink I am passed the other ridge, the soft mist covered valley already a memory, and my spectacular sky has already changed shape and inflection.

But for an instant it was mine.

And like other mornings, the beauty and wonders of the day were fleeting. There to be seen and appreciated, and then not there. It’s like “Mother Nature” demands, “See this now, feel this now, because I am going to take it away!”

Well… what can I tell you? Mother Nature can be bossy… you know it’s a tough Union.

I am not particularly good at giving lessons, maybe worse at giving advice; but I figure there should be something to “chew over”… if you’re awake don’t close your eyes to the things around you, look for the sounds, feel for the fragrances, seek the textures that add depth to our life…

Life is not a “still life”… it forever moves. My Morning today will not be repeated. It was a complete treat for me. Tomorrow? Maybe it will be wonderful, too. Maybe it will be even better. But it won’t be today… a wonderful day on a road well traveled.

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June 10… Mommie Angie

Posted on June 11, 2004 by Jim

Happy Birthday Mom! I hope that I am right… it could be the 11th or maybe even the 9th. I resisted the temptation to call Lynn and get the date confirmed. I am never too sure how other people are with regard to the specifics of a date. I am not the best. And while this is not meant to lessen the importance of your day, I am also always forgeting whether Dad’s Birthday falls on July 1 or July 2.

It’s just me…

And today thru the wonder of my mind I have transported myself back to when you were “Mommie Angie” to me… the way in which you always signed your letters to me… whether it was to Camp Western Adventure, Union College or Moscow.

I guess it was a “natural” name for you. Dad had given you the pet name “Angel”. I loved how he called you Angie or shortened it to Ange. Sherman Grant called you that on occasion as well. And to support your name Dad was sure that you had the necessary & appropriate jewlry. I can recall an Angel Fish pin (I think the eye was a pearl). And then there were all those gold discs with Angel heads on them (the reverse sides were engraved with the names and birthdays of the kids). And then there must have benn angels for your charm bracelet. Yes, you were an Angel.

And so… we already had a Mommie Soph, so it was easy… we had a Mommie Angie. I am not sure if the name was in use for Paul or Lynn.

It’s a sunny day today… perhaps the type of day when you would work on the rock garden in back of the house… just below our den. The garden was mostly in the shade and perhaps that affected your choice of what you planted… I can recall flats of pansies, some bleeding hearts, and then my personal favorite: Lily of the Valley… I loved their tiny bell shape and the beautiful perfume of their bouquet.

It was a modest garden, and the rocks were spaced just far enough apart so that I could spend time inventing games to play… negotiate a path, stepping only on the rocks, making sure not to step on any of the flowers. Although I am sure that I would have slipped once or twice, hoping the incriminating evidence would not be too obvious.

Although the garden remained hidden from the sun, once we took down that humongous apple tree, the rest of the yard would be bathed in the warmth of sunshine. And you loved the sun… Dad did, too. I guess I inherited it as well.

I think the sun is best in June, when it’s not too hot, not too humid. And we are having a beautiful day today…the sun shinning, perfect for planting rock gardens, perfect for birthdays… and on June 10th, always perfect for Mommie Angie.

Posted in The Small Pictures | Leave a comment

Joke Clinic #17: The Unexpected Tag Line

Posted on June 9, 2004 by Jim

TWO BEGGARS

Two beggars were sitting side by side on a street in Mexico City. One had a Cross in front of him, the other had the Star of David. Many people went by, looked at both beggars; but only put money into the hat of the one sitting behind the cross.

A Priest came by… stopped, and watched many, many people give money to the beggar behind the Cross; but none to the beggar behind the Star of David.

Finally he went over to the beggar behind the Star of David and said, “Don’t you understand? This is a Catholic country. People aren’t going to give you money if you sit there with the Star of David in front of you, especially when you’re sitting beside a beggar who has a Cross. In fact, they would probably give it to him just out of spite.”

The Star of David beggar listened to the Priest and, turning to the Cross beggar, said, “Nu, Moishe… look who’s trying to teach us marketing…”

Posted in Ministry of Humor | Leave a comment