Old Enough & Young Enough

I catch a fair amount of television without the benefit of sound. In the morning I spend an hour plus on the treadmill, my attention occasionally on the bank of TVs turned to this channel or that… no sound except for those cardio types with earphones who want the added distraction of following the dialogue.

In the evening I am often at my “second office” at Ash Creek Saloon to watch the last couple of innings of the Yankee game. Also no sound. To be honest, no great disadvantage here. I don’t need a “play by play” man tell me that Gary Sheffield hit a screaming line drive into the left field seats for a homerun. The score then flashed up on the screen. Who needs sound?

I will say this… occasionally I will see a commercial that seems amusing and I wish I could get the script, because the action is certainly funny.

Yesterday, or maybe it was the day before, I saw an ad that caught my attention, although it wasn’t particularly funny. It was for Jaguars (don’t you love the way the English pronounce the word…Jag-you-war… as if that justifies the cost). The part of the ad that made me smile had nothing to so with the car, or the computer created graphic of a jaguar racing thru the scene (in fact I thought it was a cheetah, and only learned it was jaguar at the end of the ad when the name of the auto and it’s distinctive logo appeared on the screen).

What made me smile was the scene of a father waist deep in a pool as his little boy jumped from the side of the pool into his awaiting arms.

Yes, that 4 second scene made me smile. I am old enough to remember being the father… and young enough to remember being the son.

Perhaps the scene would not have had the same effect if I had seen it, say in November or March. But with a summer day as a backdrop, the memories are all too clear… as clear as “blue” pool water.

When I was a kid we were members of two Clubs. Racebrook for golf and food. Woodbridge for swimming (although Dad would sometimes play there, too. I can never recall eating there). On Sundays Mom would take me over to Woodbridge for a day of swimming and sun. Dad would play golf over at Racebrook and after his round of golf, a shower and lunch he would drive the MG over to join us at Woodbridge.

I can remember looking for the MG to drive by thru the slats of the six foot high wooden fence. Gary Moss and I would alternate between the water, our towels (when our mothers would pull us out of the water because our lips were turning blue) and the Snack Bar… we would be indulged by a sinful concoction called an “iced chocolate”.

Finally Dad would appear. He would kiss my Mom and I would hurry him to change into his suit. Then he would stand in the shallow end and I would leap from the side of the pool into his arms. It wasn’t just any jump. My knees would be bent, arms thrust to the back, perhaps imitating my early impression of how racers dove into the water, and then in an instant I would hurl my self into the water. He would put me back to the side of the pool, and we would repeat the drill, only this time he would inch himself further back; until eventually my leaps would take me mostly into the water and less into him.

I think I could have kept it up all afternoon; but he would claim that he was exhausted, or perhaps Mom would have come to the side of the pool for the “lips inspection”… yes, they were blue… time to get out of the water; but only with the promise of one more session before it was time to go home.

And years later I stood waist deep at the pool of the JCC waiting for Zack to jump into my arms. Zack was very cautious about stuff. By the time he reached “jumping into the water” age, there was a new “invention” that had come into play: swimmies. Inflated plastic rings that would fit around small arms. Zack could use swimmies at the pool at our Sunrise Condo; but to my recollection, they were prohibited from use at the JCC.

Zack had to be coaxed to take the leap without the security of the swimmies.

But the posture I can well recall… knees slightly bent, hands to the rear ready to add momentum with a forward thrust, toes curled at the edge of the pool for better grip… and then the launch into my arms. And yes, I did that when I was his age, too. I would laugh, bring him back to the side of the deck, help him up… and then inch back to ready myself for the next jump.

I can well recall both times… sun in the sky, joyous days of summer when there was nothing that could possibly interrupt the moment.

Jaguars, I could care less about. But the joy of being a Father and a son are too special… especially on a summer’s day.

Posted in Family | Leave a comment

Good Time Charlies!

Well folks, it’s like this… the subject of the Good Time Charlies Club recently has come up. Amy and I visited Tiny at Mount Sinai and we began sharing stories and the Charlies were one of the subjects that we visited. And it was something that Amy mentioned as part of the beautiful eulogy of Tiny that she, Julie & Josh gave.

So with the help of Lynn, Paul & Paula I have put the pertinent details together… something for us to share as a family… something for us to continue… something for us to enjoy and, in an important way, remain connected to those Charlies & Charlottes who have moved their game pieces to a different part of the board.

Here goes…

Uncle Morris was the inspiration for the creation of a family club. And as near as I can figure it, the dating has to go back to the time that Joe Grossman entered the family, or at least he was about to. I think this must be right because he was in the original slate of officers. So I am thinking this had to be 1957 or 1958.

The name of the club was Good Time Charlies Club. The sole purpose of the club was to have a good time. Inclusion in the club was based on being a direct lineal descendant of Mommie Soph, or in marrying a direct lineal descendant. This made becoming a Charlie more difficult than being a member of the D.A.R.

All members when together, would call each other “Charlie”.

We had a song, or more correctly put an “anthem”… lyrics written by Morris. It is noted below.

We had an official “toast”. Standing up, drink in hand, we would say “Gumbay” (origin, Chinese I believe), then you would put a hand behind your head, toss back your drink & back kick your leg.

There were By-Laws and a Constitution that Morris had written and a slate of officers. Nothing too complicated, just covering the information noted above. Paula has recovered the original By-Laws from Tiny’s Papers and it is included herein.

At the same time The Ladies Auxiliary was formed, and they became the Charlottes. The requirements for inclusion were identical to the Charlies.

The Good Time Charlies Club (circa 1958)
Morris Rosoff
Sidney Winston
Joe Grossman
Paul Winston
Jimmy Winston

The Ladies Auxiliary
Ex. Officio Mommie Sophie
Tiny Rosoff
Eve Winston
Paula Grossman
Lynn Winston

Constitution and By-Laws of the Good Time Charlies Club

Article I: Name: The name of this organization shall be the GOOD TIME CHARLIES CLUB.

Article II: Eligibility to Membership: Every male descendant, or every male married to a female descendant of MOMMIE SOPHIE is automatically a member of the club.

Article III: Officers:

The officers shall be a President, a Vice-President, a Secretary, a Treasurer and a Sergeant at Arms.

A. The President is Morris Rosoff because he elected himself in an arbitrary, capricious and undemocratic manner.

B. The Vice-President is James Winston, Esq. since he walks important.

C. The Secretary is Joe Grossman because he went to Harvard and can read.

D. The Treasurer is Sidney Winston because he is rich, he is honest, and there will be no money in the treasury.

E. Paul Winston is Sergeant at Arms because of his magnificent physical super structure.

Article IV: Activities: The activities of the Club shall be confined to having one hell of a good time.

Article V: Associate Membership: Every female descendant, or every female married to a male descendant of MOMMIE SOPHIE shall automatically be a member of the LADIES AUXILIARY and shall bear the title of “CHARLOTTE”.

Article VI: Ritual: At meetings and functions of the Club, every male member of the Club shall be addressed only as “Charlie”, greeting each other as such at meetings and functions and at other times as may be desired by the members. The members shall use the word “Gumbay”, and shall execute certain gestures which indicate the taking of a quick drink of hard rye or raw moonshine whisky.

Article VII: Part-time Members: Every person engaged to marry or keeping steady company with a Charlie or a Charlotte, as the case may be shall be known as a part-time Charlie or a part-time Charlotte, as the case may be. In the event the marriage does not take place, he or she is automatically expelled from membership.

Article VIII: Honorary Chairman of the Board: There shall be an honorary Chairman of the Board, who shall be MOMMIE SOPHIE. The Honorary Chairman shall have no voice (imagine) but may make such contributions by way of stuffed-cabbage, kreplach, and/or chopped chicken liver as she in her sole discretion may from time to time desire.

 Article IX: Ammendment of Constitution and By-Laws: That shall be no provision made for the ammendment of this document since it is perfect.

Article X: Governing Law: The Club is organized, constituted and exists under and by virtue of the Laws of Bopia.

Bopia

This was our “Anthem”. It had its genesis in the “security blanket” that I used to have (actually, I had many). For whatever reason, I called it a “Bop”. It was in fact an old diaper (this was in the days before paper… thank God). Ellen threw out my last one when I was 43… I have been a nervous wreck since. One Bop was used to make a map of the Land “Bopia”… I believe Morris must have been the cartographer. Sadly, the map no longer exists… if it ever turns up, we should send it to the Smithsonian.

Oh Bopia, dear Bopia
No one else can topia
Oh Bopia, sweet Bopia
No one else can stopia

And as we wave our snow white bops
We’ll protect you like we were cops
And we’ll fight until the last bop drops
Oh Bopia, sweet Bopia…

…………

Lives are added, lives are subtracted… it’s an ever changing tide. Yet we remain connected. We have bid farewell to Tiny, and in soon we will welcome a new member to our ranks…

And in the words of Mommie Soph, “May we live and be well!”

The Good Time Charlies Club (Updated March 2023)
Paul Winston
Alan Cadan
Jim Winston
Phil Novak
David Breiger
Andy Cadan
Geoff Morin
Alex Cadan
Adam Cadan
Chipp Winston
Jason Harinstein
Zachary Winston
John Harke
Joe Coleman
Josh Breiger
Micah Breiger
Kai Winston
Bo Winston
Davis Cadan
Harrison Cadan
Colby Coleman
Caleb Coleman

The Ladies Auxiliary
Lynn Winston Cadan
Janet Winston
Sandy Mazur
Amy Breiger
Julie Grossman
Lisa Cadan
Maryana Winston
Fan Winston
Sarah Harinstein
Rachel Cadan
Jacquie Cadan
Beth Palian
Shaina Winston Harke
Suzy Winston Coleman
Sophie Novak
Abby Young
Caroline Cox
Aliza Harinstein
Mackenzie Cox
Kate Harinstein
Summer Winston
Olivia Harke
Rebecca Harke
Lily Winston
Sydney Cadan
Josie Harinstein
Eliana Coleman
Sienna Cadan

Posted in Family | 2 Comments

The Photograph

I call it the “Museum Room”. It is on the second floor, a converted bedroom, that Alan and Lynn have fixed up with family pictures. One wall decorated with the Cadans and the Bermans, the other given over to the Winstons and the Chatzeks.

It is a comfort to be in the room… to visit with relatives.

And there on the far wall, in a near sepia tone from age, is a photograph of Paul and Sophie Fleischner with their daughters Tiny and Eve. Paul is standing to the rear. I know little of my Grandfather. I judge him to be short in stature and somewhat stout. There is a softness to his face and dark eyes; but his expression is serious and formal.

Mommie Sophie is seated. Her hair is much darker than it was when I knew her. Her dress is dark although I can’t recall seeing her wear dark colours. Her face is also quite serious and nearly stern. And while I did not know Papa Paul (he did not live long enough to acquire a “name” like our Grandmother), I did know Momie Soph… and this photographic representation of her is foreign to me.

Seated to Mommie Soph’s right is my Mother. She is dressed in white and sporting a white bow or ribbon in her dark hair. Her head is tilted to the side and she has a precious smile that complements the posture of a young child happy to be in front of a camera.

Standing to her right is Tiny, 4 years older than Mom… maybe 12? She is also wearing a white dress… a smock style, with white stockings. She also has a white ribbon in her hair, which is worn longer than I have ever seen, wavy dark hair that falls to either side of the front of the smock. Her right hand is delicately curved and held simply at her side, her left hand is around my mother.

Tiny’s eyes are looking to the right… but the smile, the smile. Oh my… I saw that smile on Tuesday. Amy has that smile. It’s remarkable. I am not good at this “who looks like who” stuff. And I am even worse at picking out specific features. At over all resemblance I am fair.

But I tell you what… the expression of that smile in the photo lives on. Go out to Seattle and you will see it there, or on the occasion that my Cousin Amy visits East, you can catch it locally. And that smile is a warm treat… and it is worth seeking out.

And that smile brings Aunt Tiny into focus. It recalls the happiness and laughter which she uniquely brought to my life. We shared a very specific activity that became somewhat of a legend at 25 Alston Ave.

On Sunday mornings at 11:00AM Channel 11 would play Abbott and Costello movies. And whenever Tiny and Morris would be in New Haven for the weekend, I would fetch Tiny to watch the Movie with me. This was somewhat of a joke. She didn’t really like Abbott & Costello… something that I was unaware of at the time.

I would run into the Breakfast Room… “Come on Tiny!! You will miss the beginning of Abbott and Costello!! It’s Buck Privates, and I think this is your favorite!! Hurry!!” Tiny would immediately begin to laugh, “OK you go get our spot on the couch and I will be right in.”

We would lie next to each other in the den… and Tiny, oblivious to the story line… would do this: she would wait for me to laugh at a particular scene (of which there would be many) and then she would kiss me… and keep kissing me until I would kiss her back.

This was our time. No one could stand Abbott and Costello… Mom, Dad & Morris were probably delighted that they were relieved of having to endure the inanity. Tiny was not so lucky; but she never let on to me. No. This was our time. We would laugh and kiss our way thru “Who’s on First?”, or the scene that I thought was even funnier “The Susquehanna Hat Company on Bagel St.”

And it was easy to return Tiny’s affection. How could I not? One weekend she was sleeping in Paul’s old bed in my room. Lynn must have been home that weekend, which is why Tiny bunked with me; but regardless of the reason… she was there, and maybe she let on that she was stressed. I knew how to handle stress well back then… I had the perfect night time sedative: a collection of 6 or 7 “blankets”… called “Bops” in our family (ask someone else about the origin of the word). Bops had healing power & I well understood this… like chicken soup without the fat and calories.

And if Tiny was having difficulty I knew the way to take care of it. I inspected each of my Bops, smelling each one and testing the texture, and I made a selection and gave her one, “Here, Tiny, try this…”

Talk at the breakfast table the next morning confirmed the calming effects of a good Bop. Tiny couldn’t get over it. Not only was I credited with “walking important”, now I possessed a “folk remedy”…

I look at the snapshot anew. To see the smile one more time. To confirm it’s healing powers. Where moments before tears coursed their way down my cheeks, now a warm smile made its way to me… a smile that I could lovingly return.

Posted in Family | Leave a comment

Nonsense!

My friend Teri Ahrens’ Son-in-Law had been in the Service… and we really didn’t talk much about politics… sure concerns were there… she about Brandon, and I certainly felt Zack was at risk if the draft were re-instituted.

When Brandon was mustered out, I thought it would be ok to share some ideas with her:

Just a thought… aren’t you glad that Brandon is out of the Middle East & out of the military?

This is nuts… you would think the mistakes that the French made in Indochina, the mistakes we made in Viet Nam, the mistakes the Soviets made in Afghanistan would still be fresh in people’s minds.

Nooooooo… we have the Dick Cheneys, Don Rumsfeld’s & the Brat Bush trying to prove their manhood by flexing our Country’s miltary muscle… as if somehow this can even the score with 40 noodniks (and certainly well less than 100) who could organize crashing 4 planes in our country… so how much money can we spend, how many men can we put into uniform, employing fancy shmancy high tech ordinance to combat this threat? You tell me…

This is not fighting the Germans in WWII… this is not fighting the Japanese in WWII… these guys don’t go into battle under a flag, they don’t wear distinctive uniforms so we can tell them apart from the civilian population (we had that problem in Viet Nam, remember?)… they don’t drive tanks (because they don’t have them), they don’t fly war planes (because they don’t have them), they don’t have a navy…

Yet they kill our people every day.

So our esteemed President & his Father before him, got us all in a bother because of some sleazeball dictator with a fucking big mouth (who the CIA probably has been supporting for decades) is making threats & had to be taken seriously… The U.N. couldn’t find anything… Jesus Christ — WE CAN’T FIND ANYTHING!!! You would think that we would at least have the creativity to plant some Godamned evidence! Noooo!

And now we are to bring Liberty and our benevolent form of Democracy (which is, as we all know, something every human being who walks this planet deserves… whether they like it or not) to the ever grateful Iraqi people.

We should gather all the living relatives of our men and women who layed down their lives in the Middle East and bring them to an open amphitheatre… then on a hot summer day, with the sun nearing its apex, we will bring George Bush & Dick Cheney to the center, strip them naked, cover them with honey, and stake them on top of red ant hills.

Al Sharpton is looking better and better…

Oh well… maybe it’s just my age… you know, early onset of cantankerousness… pretty soon I will be peeing in my pants.

And for the record… I used to be a Liberal Democrat; but there is a line from Romeo and Juliet that I favor these days… “A plague on both their houses!!”

That’s how I see it from this corner…

Posted in Politics | Leave a comment