Oh, to be a little kid…

As I sipped my Rye, the matter of discussion was: “What was the best age to be?” A variety of ages were floated to the surface, and I guess I could have argued “yea or nay” on any age proposed. One thing was clear — no one liked their present age. Everyone picked a younger age, save one.

He thought it would be great to be much older. “Just to be able to sit in a chair in a sunny room, oblivious to the world, lost in a dream & not have a care in the world.”

That did sound good. But then again, I was a third of the way thru Wild Turkey #2… and typically everything sounds good then.

I remained quiet to the group. Most of their choices had been “twenty-something”… or “thirty-something.” I filter those time periods thru my mind and decide that the journey would be better to an even younger age… much younger.

Have you ever noticed that when you get a new drink, it’s like getting a new set of downs?

I’m first and ten. Here it is… you have mastered walking, running & jumping. You can kick a ball. You know colours, shapes, letters, numbers and are in the early stages of reading. You can talk in complete sentences. Follow a TV show. Listen to a story. Feed yourself. Know the joy of an ice cream cone. You can do all this… and still shit in your pants.

Second and six. Now how good is this? “Dropping a deuce” barely interrupts your routine. There you are sitting at the table colouring… or playing with a truck in between the table legs of the dinning room table, you pause ever so slightly to take care of business and proceed on without a second thought. You know… what’s the big deal? Smell? Who cares about it? I mean it’s life, isn’t it?

Third and three. Besides, it’s a creative process… uniquely yours… just as much as the coloured scribble that your parents put on the refrig. And how long do they keep the art on the refrig? Days? Months? Seasons? And yet they insist on taking your dump right away? Maybe you don’t want to give it up yet! Maybe you have to go behind the club chair in the den so they can’t get at you… they think it’s embarrassment. It’s about taking away something that is rightfully yours!

Fourth and one… we’re going for it. Yeah, to be a little kid again. Do whatever you want… eat, sleep, play and shit in your pants. OK, kids have it good. You and I both know this. They cry some when they are tired or hurt; but they really are happy… it’s about the uninhibited creativity. We can learn much from little kids. And if you happen by one day… and I am sitting over at my post at Ash Creek with a small smile, a peaceful expression and look of contentment, you can rightfully assume that I have just completed the creative process.

First and ten.

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408

It felt good to vote. Too bad more of our citizens don’t exercise their right to contribute a voice in determining who is going to represent us in government. People in other lands would give their eye teeth to have an opportunity to vote in an election… any election… even a rigged one!

We complain about our government the way we complain about the weather. But there is a difference. We can do nothing about the weather; but we can do something about our government. And for every person who takes the small step and registers to vote, and then steps into the polling place, in a very important way, that person takes a step in making this a better Country.

It goes beyond being our right to vote. It is our responsibility to vote… to help shape our government.

Perhaps you remember this slogan: “Love our Country, or leave it!” Maybe try this one on for size: “On Election Day, Vote… or pack your bags and move to a place where you can’t!”

That’s enough of that. I’ll surrender the soap box to more articulate and capable voices.

Take a step thru the political hoopla… the barrage of TV commercials, nightly calls from Party ‘foot soldiers’, political junk mail galore… there still exists the beauty of the neighborhood and the town that flowers on Election Day.

I saw this in Norwalk all the years I lived there. And I saw this in Woodbury, where I cast my vote this past Tuesday. First, let me point out… by nature I am a morning person. Always have been. As a morning person I vote as early as possible. If the polls opened at 3:00AM I’d be there. Not to make a statement about being first in line or something. It’s because I like to see the volunteers fresh in their routines… and to enjoy the faces of like minded voters who prefer to get things done early.

I got to Mitchell Elementary School a few minutes before 6:00AM (usually Woodbury votes in Town Hall; but if they expect a big turn out… it moves to Mitchell). I liked that there was less activity around the polling place. In Norwalk there would have been candidates and Party workers handing out stuff, shaking hands and the like… of course this all would take place outside the 25 yards from the polling place required by law (or whatever the distance).

But regardless of the Town (or neighborhood), the volunteers who man the polling station are of a similar stripe. The League of Women Voters (or Brothers of the Ballot) are recruited from the ranks of the retired or soon to be retired.

There is an ease to their appearance that is totally comforting. Men in dark slacks, plaid L.L. Bean shirts… ladies in pants suits and contrasting cardigan sweaters.

Although there is a volunteer’s hospitality table with hot drinks and donuts, they bring, depending on shift, their own thermos bottles of soup or coffee… water bottles and a handful of hard sucking candies. They have a look of pleasant familiarity… their focus is on their civic duty.

Peel back the years, 50 in number say, and they were the ones who worked tireously (and without thanks) on the prom committee. You have the sense that they have been in the Town, or neighborhood, forever… that they know everybody… And if there is a strange Camry parked in front of Missy Stengl’s overnight, they know it. And now you do, too.

I am #6 in line. When I get to the table for Streets “M” to “W” there are two women seated there, and a third woman seated in a table behind. I assume that the two women in front are representatives of the major Parties, and they are there to see that the other Party does not engage in “funny stuff.”

I give my name and address, produce my driver’s license to confirm my identity… my name is located on the computer roster, crossed from the list and one of them says “408”…This is for the benefit of the third lady sitting at the table in back. I don’t know what the hell she is doing… but she so notes it. Nor do I know why I am “408”. Maybe they keep track of Democrats in Woodbury. Anyway, privately I think I deserve a higher number… or a lower number, if that’s better.

Having established that I was who I said I was to the satisfaction of all 3 election officials, I was permitted to enter one of the voting booths. Each booth was supervised by yet another volunteer.

No men are trusted to the tables. Never in all my years of voting have I ever seen a man on the tables. Booth supervisors, yes. Tables, no. Maybe retired men have circulation problems if they remained seated for too long. Or maybe this is a form of cruel gender discrimination… we make the men stand for four hour shifts. Men… or women who we don’t like… Like women who have strange Camry’s parked in front of their houses overnight.

I glance left and right… each guardian taking ownership for his or her booth… each proffering a nod and smile as a voter enters the curtained booth. I vote in good order, and when done I emerge from the booth refreshed and voted.

I am now greeted by my “guardian”… on this occasion it’s a woman (maybe she should tell the Camry to park down the street and then she would get promoted to a table)… she gives me a sticker “I have voted today”.

She gives me a smile. A smile that I treasure. I don’t care who parks in front of her house. I feel good.

I have voted. I feel a part of a community. It ain’t much, and yet it’s a whole lot.

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You Know What They Always Say

I’ve worked both sides of a bar… many a long hour into the night on the working side; but of more recent on the patron side. Spend any amount of time in a bar, on either side, and you hear it all… and if you don’t, just wait ’til the next person with a thirst walks in, and you will…

Tonight finds me on the “50 yard line” of Ash Creek Saloon’s southside… mid-way between Nicole and James (bartenders extraordinaire). The purpose of my visit was to address the unfortunate surplus of Wild Turkey Rye that they had on hand. Since I work just a few doors down, I believe in helping out a neighbor.

The seat to my immediate right was vacant; but this was not for long. I’ve seen this guy walking in… not this guy, rather the type. He was wearing a jacket and tie. And he was wearing a jacket and tie because his work required it and not because he was making a fashion statement (which is a good thing… at Ash Creek we don’t abide folks who put on airs).

It being 9:15PM, this guy probably just wrapped up a dinner meeting and didn’t feel like returning straight away to home. Tie loosened, white shirt no longer crisp, jacket a bit rumpled, hair matted… looks like his appointment just put his feet to the fire.

He was a third of his way thru his Black Label on the rocks when he says to no one in particular, “You know what they always say… ‘take two and hit to right.'” He brings his glass to eye level and makes a self toast.

He takes a good swig of his whisky and then turns to me and asks, “Do you come here often?”

By nature I am polite. On this particular night I was not in the mood for outside camaraderie. I was looking forward to de-compressing from an aggravating day in the “salt mines”, catching some of whatever-game, maybe a grilled wing and scratch out a word or two. Not on my schedule was talking to Elliot. That’s his name. He introduced himself to me after asking whether I came here often.

Even though I offered him no encouragement to conversation he continued, “I’ve lived in Ridgefield for twenty years and didn’t know this place even existed! I was going to head home after a meeting; but I figured that I’d ‘shake off the trail dust’ and let the traffic settle down before I head up Route 7. Route 7, what a pain in the ass that is!” And then, “Well, you know what they always say, ‘Keep your powder dry and save your best shoes for Tuesdays!'”

He raises his glass a bit higher for this occasion.

Great! What traffic? It’s 9:30PM forGodsakes. I scan the bar. Brad is across the way, northside on the goal line defending the east. He is talking to someone… a regular, I just don’t know his name. No open seats to move to. Nicole replenishes my rye. I thank her.

Elliot says, “I wonder if she is a Yankee fan.” The she being Nicole. “It’s a shame we lost this year… I’ve been a fan all my life… I’m telling you it was the rain postponement that cost us…”

He finishes off his Scotch. Maybe he’s here for just one. No luck. He asks James for a second.

“You look like a Yankee fan, too!” he says to me, “And I’ll tell you one thing… if we get off to a slow start in the Spring, George will can Torre’s ass. And I like Joe Torre. Do you like Torre?”

I make a crucial mistake. “Yeah, I do like Joe Torre.” This is true. I think that Torre is a terrific Manager. I just should have kept my mouth shut.

“I knew it! A Yankee fan! You know what they always say, ‘It’s Pin Stripes or Prison Stripes!'”

Oh God… I look at my glass of Rye. I wonder if I can drink in the Men’s Room. I should have said, “James keep my tab open. I’ll be in the john. Wait 15 minutes and bring me another Wild Turkey and an order of plain grilled wings. I’ll be in the stall or standing next to the sink.”

“What are you drinking?” Elliot asks.

“Just whisky.” I should have said a pink squirrel. I should have said, “I love Pink Squirrels, because when you drink a ton of them and get sick drunk, you puke pink… and it’s like Pepto Bismol all over the place.” I always think of good things to say too late.

“Me, too. Johnny Walker Black Label. Joe Namath drinks Johnny Black. But I hate Joe Namath.”

He caught me in a moment of weakness. I respond, “I Hate Joe Namath, too. I hate all the Jets. But Namath the most. The most over-rated QB in NFL history.”

“Yeah. One great game. Do you know that he wore pantyhose for games played in the cold?”

I sip my Rye. “I heard that, too.”

“And why does a guy who’s from Pennsylvania sound like he was a hick from Georgia? Hah! He was a hick from Pennsylvania!”

More Rye. “Nicole… back-up Elliot for me.”

Elliot thanks me for the drink. “I think I hate FDR more than Joe Namath.”

I put my drink down.

“He knew about Pearl Harbor.”

Yeah, this is an old theory. Winston Churchill needed us in the War and FDR was looking for a casus belli. I look at my whisky. I think, “steady Jim… tread carefully… this is how bar fights begin.” I had to break-up a bar fight once. It was over who was the better 49er QB… Joe Montana or Steve Young.

I already deeply regret staking our Elliot to another Black Label. He strikes me as a guy who will slide into hostility as he takes on more whisky. I check the time.

Elliot is just getting warmed-up. “He gave away our Country to welfare cheats and socialism.”

I signal Nicole for my tab.

“Well, Elliot… you know what they always say, in the words of the great 17th Century biblical scholar, Alan Kadansky… and I quote… ‘you never really own a sectional……you are its caretaker for the next generation.'”

I thank James and Nicole for their hospitality. I bid Elliot a good night.

I am reminded of the words of the Great Confucius. In giving advice to the Princes of the Kingdom he said, “A wise leader knows a tactical retreat maybe the best path to ensure an ultimate victory.”

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A Plague On Both Your Houses

Election falls on November 7th this year. For the first time I will be exercising my right as a U.S. citizen to vote in the town of Woodbury. The polling location is in our Town Hall. Town Hall is a simple wood frame construction. It is similar in appearance to the clutch of churches that line the western side of Route 6 in Woodbury.

I have yet to be inside of Town Hall. But I like that at other times of the year, Town Hall is used for art shows, square dancing, blood drives and other selected entertainments.

But come Tuesday morning at 6:00AM, or thereabouts, I will step inside for the first time to cast my vote.

Much attention, much national attention, is focused on our Senatorial race. A race that is featuring two Democrats and a Republican after thought. Ned Lamont, the Democratic standard bearer is locked in a battle with our incumbent Democratic Senator Joe Lieberman, or should I say, locked in a battle again. You see, they already engaged in battle in the primary. A primary battle won by Lamont fair and square.

Usually, we would expect the loser, Joe Lieberman in this case, to graciously accept defeat, shake hands with the winner, and importantly, pledge his support in the upcoming battle against the champion of darkness from the Republican Party.

That’s what you’d expect. But that’s not what happened. You see, Ned Lampont did such a bang up job identifying Joe Lieberman as George Bush’s errand boy that he fooled both the Democrats and the Republicans in our State. Joe Lieberman has rather ungraciously decided to continue to defend his Senate seat from a “neutral” party.

We are now left with the Democratic Party divided against itself and the Republicans happily supporting Joe Lieberman who they have now, ipso facto, adopted as their own. The real Republican candidate, Alan Schlesinger is being treated like the fat kid in 10th grade running for school secretary.

Ya gotta love Connecticut. It should be pointed out that we do have a precedent for this election mish mosh. There was a time when Lowell Weicker lost the confidence of State Republicans and had to carry on as an “Independent.” I had no trouble as a “life long” Democrat switching over to vote for him. I voted for him even before he switched (my way of saying thanks for being the Republican on the Watergate Committee who had the cajones to stick it to Nixon). And I voted for him against Joe Lieberman in our Gubernatorial election.

To be honest. I would vote for Weicker today. Here is a guy who runs for Governor pledging not to put in a State income tax. He gets elected. And within 90 days tells the citizens of the State that he has just had a good look at the “books” and it is obvious that the State needs an income tax. He said that he had been wrong. He had to pursue a course that he felt was for the good of our State, that he would not follow an unwise path merely to get re-elected… further, he had no interest in running for a second term.

Bravo! A guy with cajones, doing something he felt was necessary regardless of whether it was popular,

Well, that’s all well and good. Weicker is not running.

So here it is… we have Joe Lieberman with a smile that is a cross between the Grinch-who-stole-Christmas and the Reverend Robert Schuler. Ned Lamont with Vulcan eyebrows, “mean lines” between his eyes and the worst haircut since Al Sharpton. Or the fat kid from the 10th grade.

I’m not loving my choices here.

But that’s not unusual. I rarely vote for someone I actually like, as opposed to voting for the “lesser of two evils”. But come Tuesday morning, I will take my position in line to exercise my right to vote. I do so with pride.

I suggest you do the same.

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