FRIENDS…
This fantasy draft stuff is really getting silly… but, it’s finally entering into a zone where I can fully, and enthusiastically participate.
I can’t believe there are people who are unfamiliar with Fantasy Leagues… but rather than risk embarassment to friends, family and my groupies by assuming too much, I will briefly explain the concept of a Fantasy League.
It’s a way for fans (let’s say football fans) to vicariously particpate in the games that are played each week. It’s not as simple as putting a wager down on my team (the Indianapolis Colts) against your team (the hated New York Jets… may they not win another game ’til the next asteroid crashes into earth sending a gigantic cloud into the sky destroying 98% of all life forms)… you see that’s easy, and it worked for me. But for the a newer generation, it just ain’t good enough.
So… what would happen if I could make up my own team… a FANTASY TEAM… composed of players from all the teams? Sure I would have some of the Colts players on my team; but I could also have some of the best players from other teams, too. Now, let’s put like minded fans together and select teams to compete against each other… no different then when we were choosing up sides for games in grade school, right? Also, no different from the way Professional Football Teams actually select the college kids preparing to enter the NFL. And that process is called the Draft.
The Fantasy League follows the same process… in turn each fan selects a player from all the players on all the teams. Obviously the best players go first. And then to measure success of your fantasy team it is no longer a matter of the Colts knocking the shit out of the Jets 856-0, and let that ass-hole Jets fan in the fireman’s hat who leads their cheers develop a permanent case of rectal itch… We measure success in a Fantasy League by the actual statistical performance of the players in their games. So may points for Quarterbacks’ completions, yards gained & touchdowns thrown.
A fan now not only roots for his “real” team to win; but he also roots for individual players from his or her “fantasy” team to perform statistically well playing for other “real” teams.
Yes, divided loyalty if you ask me. Can you imagine if the Colts played the Chargers and I had Antonio Gates (their star receiver) on my “fantasy” team? I get indigestion thinking about it.
OK. Enough. I hope you get the idea. There’s all sorts of Fantasy Leagues… on line, office pools, you name it. All the major sports are covered. And then some. I’m finally getting to my point (aren’t you glad?). Zachary keeps on coming up with cockamammie things to organize into a “Fantasy Draft.” But in so doing, we have left the “playing pitch” of athletic teams, and entered into the random grouping of things that have unifying themes… and, this is key, there is actually no way to measure the success of your team!
So… I heard from Zack yesterday “If I did a fantasy draft of most memorable books from my childhood, Where the Wild Things Are would be in the top 5″.
I’m in.
Last night, while experiencing the utter brilliance of rye as a grain when used in a liquid… I kicked around the possibilities for a Fantasty Draft… Black & White Movies… Comedians… Fascist Dictators (this happened around whisky #2).
Well, I settled on The League of Cartoon Characters. And to make things easy, and hoepfully to avert a lot of in-fighting and unnecessary squabbling, I have appointed myself Commisioner of the League. And my first act as Commisioner is to appoint me to be the head of the Rules Committee.
There will be ten rounds in the draft.
I will pick first (I am doing this in an arbitrary and capricious manner… if you must know, I fear that Gary Moss or Will Waters would choose Foghorn Leghorn, and I wasn’t about to let that happen!) Then the order will be determined by the order in which folks join the League. Once the order is determined, you will have 2 hours to make a selection with the day concluding at 8:00PM Eastern Time, and resuming at 7:30AM.
Jim Winston selects with his first round… Foghorn Leghorn
If you want in, sign up on my Facebook page