LAUNCHcast

Posted on November 16, 2005 by Jim

I am not in the habit of endorsing products unless I can eat or drink them.  And I am even less likely to praise something that is part of a large enterprise.  So let’s pretend that I am real new to this internet stuff, and I thought “Yahoo” was something that cowboys shouted when they had to go to the bathroom.  

Well… you’re never too old to learn a thing or two.  It’s all a matter of surrounding yourself with the right people.  You know… George Steinbrenner has his baseball people who help him decide whether to give Alex Rodriguez 85 Million and the key to the executive john over the next 10 years.  

I have my music people.  So when one of my chief scouts (Zack) emailed me in June to “check out” Yahoo’s LAUNCHcast music feature… I had to pay attention… even though my initial reaction was Yahoo?  Isn’t that “The Man”?  

As I say… you’re never too old to learn a few things… even if it is from some rapscallion… and even if the rapscallion is your son.  He was not wrong.  If you love music you gotta love LAUNCHcast… and it matters not what type of music you love.  

The idea is to create your own “radio station” based on your personal musical preferences.  Step one is to establish a musical profile.  What type of music do you enjoy?  I am all over the lot: blues, classic rock, classical, Broadway & screen plays… and then you further select artists within the genre.  

Now it’s time to listen to music.  

Tunes start to come your way based on genres and artists that you have rated favorably.  When a song plays you see the title, the artist and the album.  Then you can rate each category — one star: it’s OK; two stars: I like it; three stars: I love it; four stars: can’t get enough; and a circle with the diagonal line in it: kill it for all time.  

Each time you rate music positively, you will get music from the same artist, or from the same album, or music that in some way relates to your likes… ferinstance… if you give Willie Dixon’s “Spoonful” three stars, LAUNCHcast will give you Howlin’ Wolf’s “Sitting on Top of the World.”  

Makes sense.  

Sometimes the songs seem a stretch for my musical preferences… but I figure it’s OK… give that song a quick “kill” (there is a skip button for your convenience) and move to the next tune.  

Meantime, after nearly six months of listening to my LAUNCHcast “radio station” I have been exposed to an ever increasing variety of artists and music… things I probably never would have picked “off the shelf”.  And the more I would rate, the more I would get.  It’s wonderful!  I love music…  

Today I get an exciting blend of music that I have rated, plus new things to rate.  

I sit in front of a computer nigh all day.  I think I would go nuts without music.  

Yes, LAUNCcast has my unqualified approval.  I am a full convert… and sometimes there is nothing more obnoxious as a convert, because we carry our new belief on a banner into battle against the non-converted… and we take no quarter.  

Just ask Sandy about this… I have not only put her into LAUNCHcast… I have made sure that my preferences are on her “radio station”… in my book, my musical book that is, trust only goes so far…  

And here for your consideration is the play list from my “radio station” this morning.  I have added a comment  here and there if the spirit moved me.  

P.S. I don’t answer the phone or email during Brandenburg Concerto #5 or Dire Strait’s “Sultan of Swing”.    

Bryan Adams; Flying **  

Peter, Paul & Mary; Leaving on a Jet Plane ****
I also rated this 4 stars with John Denver  

Deep Blue Something; Home newly rated *  

Bright Eyes; First Day of My Life **
probably liked the theme  

New Riders of the Purple Sage; Dirty Business ****
Off one of my favorite albums. Jerry Garcia on pedal steel.  

The Darkness; One Way Ticket (radio edit) newly rated ** 
I like the cow bell  

John Mellencamp; Suzanne and the Jewels ***  

Michael McGoldrick; Buain Na Choirce **
I am in my Celtic period.  It must be my heritage.  

Bad Company; Here comes Trouble newly rated **  

Matchbox 20; If You’re Gone ***  

Simon and Garfunkel; Cecilia ***  

Steve Miller Band; So Long Blues newly rated — this is a kill. 
Live track introducing band members and thanking the audience and saying goodnight  

Paul Simon; Mother and Child Reunion ****  

Sarah McLaughlan; World on Fire newly rated *  

Dire Straits; Romeo and Juliet ****  

Academy of St. Martin-in-the-Fields; Handel Suite #1 in F Adagio e Staccato newly rated ***  

Dave Mason; Shouldn’t Have Took More Than You Gave ****  

Marianne Faithfull; As Tears Go By newly rated ***
A great Stones’ tune, that she actually released first… I guess you get to do these things if you sleep with Keith Richard  

Trey Anastasio; Invisible newly rated *  

James Taylor; Shed a Little Light newly rated ***  

Justine Sane; The Critical Writing Assignment  newly rated 
This is a kill.  I think I could sing closer to key  

Phantom of the Opera; Wandering Child ***  

Neil Young; Cowgirl in the Sand ****
Off one of my favorite albums with Crazy Horse  

The Faders; No Sleep Tonight newly rated *  

Hot Tuna; Death Have No Mercy ****
Off a near perfect album  

Uncle Kracker; Drift Away ****
This has to be a new cover… I forgot who did the original; but I love this, too  

Traffic; Feelin’ Alright ****  

The Who; Overture ****
This is from the original Tommy… great instrumental  

The Shangri-La’s; Remember (Walkin’ in the Sand) **
I am not keen on these groups… but I dig this one… also I have a soft spot for “Leader of the Pack”  

Harry Belafonte; Pastures of Plenty newly rated **  

Clannad; Two Sisters **** more Celtic  

Blindfaith; Presence of the Lord ****  

Cream; Spoonful ****
I just saw them perform this Live in MSG!  

Madonna; Forbidden Love newly rated *  

Kinks; A Well Respected Man ****
Terrific group and a marvelous tune from their early days  

Andrea Bocelli; L’Ultimo Re ***
Dani tipped me on Bocelli 4+ years ago.  I thought he was a Renaissance painter.  Well, you know a Liberal Arts education only carries you to a certain point

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Comedy Watch

Posted on November 9, 2005 by Jim

 

I’m tipping my hat to Zack… he has ferreted out a hysterical piece written by some comedian (who I have never heard of… but it’s OK… there’s lots of stuff & folks that I haven’t heard of).

The piece included herein is an excursion into what Paul and I call the “keep the godamned jack syndrome”.

This carries my complete endorsement… although my critical acclaim won’t buy the guy (excuse me, the  comedian) a cup of coffee, not that he needs the financial help…

 

WHAT I WOULD BE THINKING ABOUT IF I WERE BILLY JOEL DRIVING TOWARD A HOLIDAY PARTY WHERE I KNEW THERE WAS GOING TO BE A PIANO.

 

BY MICHAEL IAN BLACK

 

I’m not doing it. I’m just not. I know I say the same thing every year, but this time I mean it—I am not playing it this year. Seriously, how many times can I possibly be expected to play that stupid song? I bet if you counted the number of times I’ve played it over the years, it probably adds up to, like, a jillion. I’m not even exaggerating. One jillion times. Well, not this year.

This year, I’m just going to say, “Sorry, folks, I’m only playing holiday songs tonight.” Yeah, that’s a good plan. That’s definitely what I’m going to do, and if they don’t like it, tough cookies. It’ll just be tough cookies for them.

But I know exactly what’ll happen. I’ll sit down, play a few holiday songs, and then some drunk jerk will yell out, “‘Piano Man,'” and everybody will start clapping, and I’ll look like a real asshole if I don’t play it.

I wonder if they’ll have shrimp cocktail.

Now that I think of it, it’s always Bob Schimke who yells out, “‘Piano Man.'” He does it every year. He gets a couple of Scotches in that fat gut of his, and then it’s, “Hey, Billy, play ‘Piano Man’!” That guy is such a dick. He thinks he’s such a big shot because he manages that stupid hedge fund. Big deal. He thinks because he used to play quarterback for Amherst that everybody should give a shit. I don’t. Who cares about you and your stupid hedge fund, Bob? That’s what I should say to him this year. I really should. I should just march right up to him and say, “Who cares about your stupid hedge fund, you dick?” Let’s just see what Mr. Quarterback has to say about that. And I know he made a pass at Christie that time. She probably liked it—that’s probably why she denied it even happened.

I’m such a loser.

Why do I even go to these parties? I mean, honestly, how many times do I need to see Trish and Steve and Lily and that creepy doctor husband of hers and all their rich Long Island friends? Although that Greenstein girl is nice. Maybe she’ll be there. What’s her name—Alison?

What if Alison asks me to play “Piano Man”? Then what? I’ve got to stick to my guns, that’s what. I’ll simply say, “Some other time.” Yeah, that’s good. Kind of like we’re making a date or something. And then at the end of the night when we’re all getting our coats, I’ll turn to her and say something like, “So when do you want to get together and hear ‘Piano Man’?” Oh man, that’s really good. That’s so smooth. After all, how is she going to say no? She’s the one who asked to hear it in the first place! Oh man, Billy, that is just perfect.

Maybe she’ll say something like, “How about right now?” Yeah. And maybe we’ll leave together. I can drive her back to my place and I can play her the stupid song and then maybe we’ll do it. I’d really like to do it with that Greenstein girl. How awesome would that be? Me leaving with Alison on my arm and Bob’s big fat stupid face watching us go. That would be too rich. I’d be real nonchalant about it, too—”See you later, Bob.”

Who am I kidding? She’d never go out with me. She was dating that actor for a while. What’s his name? Benicio? What kind of name is Benicio? A stupid name, that’s what kind. Hi, I’m Benicio. I’m so cool. I’m sooooo cool. I should start going by Billicio. I’m Billicio Del Joelio. I play pianolo.

Sing us a song, you’re the piano man …

Oh great. Now it’s in my head. Perfect. Now I have to walk around that stupid party with that stupid song stuck in my head all night.

Amherst sucks at football.

You know what I should do? I should just turn this car around and go home. Just pick up the phone and call them and tell them I ate some bad fish or something. Yeah, that’s what I should do. This party’s going to suck anyway. By the time I get there, all the shrimp cocktail will probably be gone anyway.

What am I going to do? Go through my entire life avoiding situations where somebody might ask me to play a song? I can’t do that. No, Billy, you’ve just got to grow yourself a sack and take care of business. And if that loudmouth Bob Schimke requests “Piano Man,” I just need to look him in the eye and tell him I’d be happy to play it for him just as soon as he goes ahead and fucks himself.

Who am I kidding? Of course I’m going to play it. I always play it. Probably the only reason half the people at that party even show up is to hear me play “Piano Man.” They probably don’t even like me. Not really. They just want to tell all their friends that Billy came and played “Piano Man.” Again. Like I’m the loser who’s dying to play it. Whatever.

Fine. I’ll do it, but not because they want me to, but because I want me to. I’m not even going to wait for them to ask. I’m going to march right in there and play the song and that’ll be that. I’m not even going to take off my coat first. Yeah. Let’s see what Bob has to say about that. I might even play it twice.

Posted in Ministry of Humor | Leave a comment

It’s What Happens When You Laugh

Posted on November 8, 2005 by Jim

I know that I was young.  I know that I was sitting at the dining room table with my family.  The fact that we were in the dining room meant that it was a special dinner of some sort, since most of our meals were taken in the “breakfast room”.

I don’t remember the occasion, nor do I remember what was said.  But I can remember laughing so hard that I flopped from my chair to the floor, just to the right of my Dad… I rolled to my back, then to my side in a fetal position… writhing not in pain; but convulsed in the pure joy of laughter.

Not great dinner table decorum, I grant you.

My guess is that Dad told some anecdote… a story rather than a straight joke… and maybe it was his phrasing… his use of funny adjectives or verbs that caught me… maybe his facial expression punctuated points.  But whatever the spark, his story painted such a clear picture in my mind, and it would have been the improbability of that manufactured scene that would have sent me “over the edge”.

I could not contain myself.  Thank God it wasn’t “high tea” with the Queen in attendance!

There would be other times when this could happen.  I would begin the laugh… and the laughter would build on itself.  I could not stop it… my facial muscles would begin to hurt, as would my stomach… no power on earth could halt the inevitable path I was on… it would have to run its course.

The casual observer of the scene in the dining room that day, seeing me on the floor, gripping my stomach, might incorrectly guess that I was hurt or possibly in some type of fit.

No… far from being hurt, I was just happy beyond belief, somewhat fatigued, perhaps, by the added theatricality of rolling about the floor… but some how proud that I was able to hear Dad’s words… establish an accurate picture in my mind & then respond to it with all my soul… with all my being.

Do I love to laugh?  You bet I do!  Call it the primate in me.  And don’t tell me that you don’t laugh when you see a chimpanzee laugh!

Mostly, laughter is a way for me to beat back time.  To beat back the crush of age that can weigh us down.

When I laugh I am returned to the outrageous giggles of being tickled as a toddler, I am returned to the elephant jokes we told in the 8th grade, I am returned to the small theatre on the Upper East Side catching a Chaplin film with my parents, I am returned to the dinning room of 25 Alston Ave… laughing without control at my Dad’s stories.

But mostly I am returned to being whole.

That’s what happens when you laugh.

Posted in Childhood | Leave a comment

Stand Back Flu! There is a New Sheriff in Town!!

Posted on November 3, 2005 by Jim

It is with great relief that I see that this Administration is finally trying to get ahead of a problem… at first I was shocked to see that the “rx bill” for combating the bird flu was going to be frightfully high… we’re talking billions here…
 
But I was warmed by the creative approach the Administration has come up with both the funding of its ambitious Programs; and the multi-dimensional approach of dealing with the crisis itself.
 
Kudos for the Bush team… and this will once and for all quiet the sharp an venomous tongues of the “naysayers” and un-patriotic critics of this President.
 
I was further relieved to see that Halliburton was going to take some of their vehicles out of Iraq since they were just given the contract to drive vaccines across the country (they will also have the contract to do this is in war ravaged Iraq… and in flood ravaged Texas)…

1.Federal Tolls. Beginning Jan 1 the following states will have toll booths established on all interstate routes: Washington, Oregon, Minnesota, Vermont, Connecticut, Maine and Rhode Island.  The Tolls will be a flat across the board $2.00. 75% of the revenue to be sent to Washington, the balance to cover the cost for construction of the booths (thank God Halliburton was given the contract for building the booths)… the Booths are to be manned by High School Seniors Volunteers thru the Youths Do Right By Your Country!

2.Bird Incarceration. Previously closed military bases will be re-opened (it will have the added benefit of creating jobs) to hold suspicious birds… birds acting out of the norm will have one month to revert to acceptable behavior… otherwise they will be euthanized.  The cost for this will be borne by the Individual States (but remember… there will be jobs created which is a big plus).  States involved: Wisconsin, California, New York and Maryland.

3.Experimental Bird Inoculation. Avian Clinics will be established in urban centers (more jobs folks!), and voluntary bird clubs from the middle schools will catch birds and bring them to the centers to receive one of many potential serums being developed by a subsidiary of Halliburton.  The States will bear the cost of Clinic Security… these Centers will obviously be a Target for foreign terrorism and the States where innoculation centers are established will have to activate the National Guard.  The States involved: Illinois, Massachusetts & Pennsylvania.

4.Chicken Detention Farms.This Country’s chicken supply is at risk.  To reassure our citizens that every measure is being done to protect one of our most valuable food resources… all chickens will be transported to a series of Farms set up for the purpose of isolating them from foreign borne disease.  As an adjunct, Chicken Soup Kitchens will be established in Hurricane Ravaged Gulf States providing free soup to needy citizens.  The Kitchens: Have Some More, It’s Good For You! is a subusidiary of Halliburton and it opearates on a Federal Grant.  Farms are being established in Michigan, New Jersey, Delaware and New Hampshire.

5.The beef initiative. Worried about chicken, turkey, cornish hens and the like?  Dare I say, foul fowl??  Thru the Federal Assistance Relief Agency, millions of acres have been reclaimed for the specific purpose of increasing grazing land for Texas cattle… Let The Herds Multiply is an exciting response to the Bird Terror that is infecting this great Country. I applaud the slogan Marinated Skirt Steak: It’s the Real Thanksgiving!

So friends… I have decided to put aside my sniping remarks & I suggest you do the same.
 
n.b. Related news: I. Lewis Libby has just taken a position on the Board of Halliburton

Posted in Politics | Leave a comment