It’s What Happens When You Laugh

Posted on November 8, 2005 by Jim

I know that I was young.  I know that I was sitting at the dining room table with my family.  The fact that we were in the dining room meant that it was a special dinner of some sort, since most of our meals were taken in the “breakfast room”.

I don’t remember the occasion, nor do I remember what was said.  But I can remember laughing so hard that I flopped from my chair to the floor, just to the right of my Dad… I rolled to my back, then to my side in a fetal position… writhing not in pain; but convulsed in the pure joy of laughter.

Not great dinner table decorum, I grant you.

My guess is that Dad told some anecdote… a story rather than a straight joke… and maybe it was his phrasing… his use of funny adjectives or verbs that caught me… maybe his facial expression punctuated points.  But whatever the spark, his story painted such a clear picture in my mind, and it would have been the improbability of that manufactured scene that would have sent me “over the edge”.

I could not contain myself.  Thank God it wasn’t “high tea” with the Queen in attendance!

There would be other times when this could happen.  I would begin the laugh… and the laughter would build on itself.  I could not stop it… my facial muscles would begin to hurt, as would my stomach… no power on earth could halt the inevitable path I was on… it would have to run its course.

The casual observer of the scene in the dining room that day, seeing me on the floor, gripping my stomach, might incorrectly guess that I was hurt or possibly in some type of fit.

No… far from being hurt, I was just happy beyond belief, somewhat fatigued, perhaps, by the added theatricality of rolling about the floor… but some how proud that I was able to hear Dad’s words… establish an accurate picture in my mind & then respond to it with all my soul… with all my being.

Do I love to laugh?  You bet I do!  Call it the primate in me.  And don’t tell me that you don’t laugh when you see a chimpanzee laugh!

Mostly, laughter is a way for me to beat back time.  To beat back the crush of age that can weigh us down.

When I laugh I am returned to the outrageous giggles of being tickled as a toddler, I am returned to the elephant jokes we told in the 8th grade, I am returned to the small theatre on the Upper East Side catching a Chaplin film with my parents, I am returned to the dinning room of 25 Alston Ave… laughing without control at my Dad’s stories.

But mostly I am returned to being whole.

That’s what happens when you laugh.

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Stand Back Flu! There is a New Sheriff in Town!!

Posted on November 3, 2005 by Jim

It is with great relief that I see that this Administration is finally trying to get ahead of a problem… at first I was shocked to see that the “rx bill” for combating the bird flu was going to be frightfully high… we’re talking billions here…
 
But I was warmed by the creative approach the Administration has come up with both the funding of its ambitious Programs; and the multi-dimensional approach of dealing with the crisis itself.
 
Kudos for the Bush team… and this will once and for all quiet the sharp an venomous tongues of the “naysayers” and un-patriotic critics of this President.
 
I was further relieved to see that Halliburton was going to take some of their vehicles out of Iraq since they were just given the contract to drive vaccines across the country (they will also have the contract to do this is in war ravaged Iraq… and in flood ravaged Texas)…

1.Federal Tolls. Beginning Jan 1 the following states will have toll booths established on all interstate routes: Washington, Oregon, Minnesota, Vermont, Connecticut, Maine and Rhode Island.  The Tolls will be a flat across the board $2.00. 75% of the revenue to be sent to Washington, the balance to cover the cost for construction of the booths (thank God Halliburton was given the contract for building the booths)… the Booths are to be manned by High School Seniors Volunteers thru the Youths Do Right By Your Country!

2.Bird Incarceration. Previously closed military bases will be re-opened (it will have the added benefit of creating jobs) to hold suspicious birds… birds acting out of the norm will have one month to revert to acceptable behavior… otherwise they will be euthanized.  The cost for this will be borne by the Individual States (but remember… there will be jobs created which is a big plus).  States involved: Wisconsin, California, New York and Maryland.

3.Experimental Bird Inoculation. Avian Clinics will be established in urban centers (more jobs folks!), and voluntary bird clubs from the middle schools will catch birds and bring them to the centers to receive one of many potential serums being developed by a subsidiary of Halliburton.  The States will bear the cost of Clinic Security… these Centers will obviously be a Target for foreign terrorism and the States where innoculation centers are established will have to activate the National Guard.  The States involved: Illinois, Massachusetts & Pennsylvania.

4.Chicken Detention Farms.This Country’s chicken supply is at risk.  To reassure our citizens that every measure is being done to protect one of our most valuable food resources… all chickens will be transported to a series of Farms set up for the purpose of isolating them from foreign borne disease.  As an adjunct, Chicken Soup Kitchens will be established in Hurricane Ravaged Gulf States providing free soup to needy citizens.  The Kitchens: Have Some More, It’s Good For You! is a subusidiary of Halliburton and it opearates on a Federal Grant.  Farms are being established in Michigan, New Jersey, Delaware and New Hampshire.

5.The beef initiative. Worried about chicken, turkey, cornish hens and the like?  Dare I say, foul fowl??  Thru the Federal Assistance Relief Agency, millions of acres have been reclaimed for the specific purpose of increasing grazing land for Texas cattle… Let The Herds Multiply is an exciting response to the Bird Terror that is infecting this great Country. I applaud the slogan Marinated Skirt Steak: It’s the Real Thanksgiving!

So friends… I have decided to put aside my sniping remarks & I suggest you do the same.
 
n.b. Related news: I. Lewis Libby has just taken a position on the Board of Halliburton

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Sitting on Top of the World

Posted on November 1, 2005 by Jim

It was in the old New Haven Arena, home to the New haven Blades Hockey Team of the AHL… the date was October 11, 1968, and seated on “floor seats”, some 15 rows back from the stage, sat Ellen, John Pendelton (aka Lance or “Wild Pen”), John’s date (who I couldn’t remember on a bet) & me… and we were there not for a hockey game, but for the Cream Concert.

Cream, for those not in the know, was an English rock group consisting of three musicians: Jack Bruce on Bass and Vocals, Ginger Baker on Drums and Eric Clapton on Guitar.

The Concert was part of their “farewell tour”.  After a meteoric rise to fame they were disbanding a mere two years after their formation.  Their decision to split at the height of their popularity and critical acclaim was indeed genuine.  So it was told, on a personal level, Bruce and Baker couldn’t stomach each other.

I loved Cream… their music combined original stuff (mostly written by Bruce with help from Pete Brown as lyricist) with sensational covers of Blues classics from Willie Dixon, Howlin’ Wolf, Robert Johnson & Albert King to name but a few.  I owned all their albums (they only produced 4 while they were constituted).

Ellen “suffered” them, which is to say that she “tolerated” them because of me… and her presence in the New Haven Arena that night was borne of her desire to please me, at that time, rather than her own interest in the group or their music.

Among her observations, Ellen told me she found the song “I’m So Glad”, with its repeated refrain: I’m so glad, I’m so glad, I’m glad, I’m glad, I’m glad… to be purely idiotic.

Excuse me!  I loved the tune!   No matter… There we sat… in the “good seats”… listening to Clapton’s magical guitar weave around Bruce’s pulsating bass, backed by Baker’s impeccable drum kit & punctuated by Bruce’s sweet tenor vocals.  I was transfixed.

Ellen was not so moved (no surprise there); but Lance certainly loved it… I can recall glancing in his direction during Baker’s extended drum solo in “Toad” and John looked mesmerized… it was an expression that spoke volumes of appreciation.

What a concert!

When the tour concluded with a Concert in Royal Albert Hall  a month or so later, the band members went their separate paths.

I think it is safe to say that neither Bruce nor Baker achieved the success (artistic or financial) that Clapton enjoyed in the post-Cream days.  Clapton’s “solo” career spread his popularity to a far wider audience than his days in Cream… many of his songs logged serious air play across a diversity of radio stations… from classic rock to “easy listening”.

Rock groups came and go… like sea shells on the sea shore.  But for those of us who love a particular group that is no more, we live with the hope that our favorite group will re-form again.  How many millions of music fans longed for John and Paul patch things up and re-group the Beatles? And of course what had once been a hope, in the case of the Beatles, is now an impossibility.

But with every new Eric Clapton song or album (or should I say CD), I would hope that one day Cream would take the stage again.

Realize that only part of this has to do with music.  Part of it has to do with re-claiming a part of our life… a younger part of our life… a part of our life seen thru a prism that filters the bitter parts away… a prism that wonderfully restores just the sweet.

So… it’s not too difficult to hear a song, pop in an “old” CD and be transported back in time to those days…

Or… sometimes it might be something “new” that puts you in that nostalgic frame of mind.  And that’s what happened to me about a year or two ago when Eric Clapton released the CD “Me and Mr. Johnson”.  It was Clapton’s musical tribute to the legendary Bluesman, Robert Johnson.  One of the tracks, “Traveling Riverside Blues” sounded darn close to another Johnson tune “Crossroads Blues” that the Cream covered in their “Wheels of Fire” album.

When that CD came out, I couldn’t get enough of it… and every time I heard “Traveling Riverside Blues” I kept thinking, too bad the Cream doesn’t get back together again… wouldn’t it be sweet to hear “Crossroads” again?

Wouldn’t it be sweet to hear them again?  Wouldn’t it be sweet to see them again? Wouldn’t be sweet to re-capture some time & preserve it in a bottle?

I don’t go to concerts often… not even back “then”.  I pick and choose my forays to live music selectively… today even more so than “then”.  But this is for sure… when I caught wind that Cream was coming together for a handful of dates… I didn’t have to think long and hard as to whether I would go… and not knowing if there would be dates in the U.S., I even tinkered with the idea of flying to London.

When it was clear that NYC dates would be included, it was simply a matter of waiting for the tickets to go on sale…

I had a “partner” in pursuit of tickets as well… Sean, bartender extraordinaire at Ash Creek, also had a keen interest and we traded info about ticket availability and all… When Sean told me that he and his buddies scored tickets for the Monday show, it was time for me to act…

Frank Alfiero, a distinguished Grapes alumnus is a big time music fan, too… many of our early morning conversations prior to the “wardens” arriving on the grounds invariably covered sports and music… we had already taken in a B.B. King Concert in Stamford… a Concert we both loved… Mr. Frank is a big time music “ally” of mine.

When I had asked him if he would be interested in checking out Cream if the situation presented itself… it took him a nano second to reply in the affirmative. 

Now that the opportunity arrived we struck for a deuce… our date was for Wednesday, the last of the dates for this “re-union”. 

Our seats, for those unfamiliar with Madison Square Garden, were in the “Press Box”… right about the Red Line (that’s the 50 yard line for you souls who don’t know hockey)… we had a great view of the stage and the press seats meant that when folks stood up (which would be done often that night) we still had a completely unobstructed line of sight.

At 8:35 the boys hit the opening chords of the Skip James tune that Ellen hated 37 years ago… “I’m so Glad”… and like the rest of the sold out house, no words could better describe how Frank and I felt… I’m so glad!! 

An old Willie Dixon number followed: “Spoonful”.  This version was closer to the studio track on the British released album Fresh Cream (it was left off the U.S. version) than it was to the live track on Wheels of Fire…loved it! 

Then one of my favorites of the night… another blues classic, this from Arthur “Blind Willie” Reynolds: “Outside Woman Blues”… in addition to one of the classic themes in blues (women, loving them, leaving them, getting hurt by them or in some way falling to their power), the music idiom is also classic… a vocal line, followed by a guitar lick, the vocal line repeated, then a guitar lick… a more extended solo can be included with a repeated refrain at the end… ya gotta love this…

“If you lose your money, great God don’t lose your mind.
If you lose your money, great God don’t lose your mind.
And if you lose your woman, please don’t fool with mine.  

I’m gonna buy me a bulldog, watch my lady whilst I sleep.
I’m gonna buy me a bulldog, watch my lady whilst I sleep.
‘Cause women these days, they’re so doggone crooked,
That they might take off ‘fore day creep.  

Well, you can’t watch your wife and your outside women, too.
You know you can’t watch your wife and your outside womens, too.  

Cause when you’re out with your women, your wife will be at home,
Cooking your food, doing you dirt, buddy what you trying to do?  

You can’t watch your wife and your outside womens, too.
When you’re out with your women, your wife will be at home,
Doing you dirt, cooking your food, buddy what you trying to do?  

Great Song!  Each song that followed was recognized by the Cream cognoscenti… each song received a huge reception.  

One song on the play list, T Bone Walker’s Stormy Monday, to my knowledge, had not been covered previously on their main albums.  Nevertheless it is another Blues standard and the boys played a superb rendition.  

After performing Chester Burnett’s (aka Howlin’ Wolf) “Sitting on Top of the World”, Jack Bruce acknowledged the ovation… acknowledged his band mates… “Eric Clapton, please…” and then “Ginger Baker, Please..”   Clapton returned the praise, “Jack Bruce, please…”  

Then Bruce looked into the packed house… the final night of the re-union… listened to the crescendo of applause… and then said, “you know, tonight I feel like I’m sitting on top of the world…”  

And so did I…  

I looked about the room.  Not, I suspect, the typical rock concert crowd… most of the folks I judged to be of my age, give or take… then there were some moms & dads who brought their kids of an appropriate age… as I certainly would have done if Zack were present on the Right Coast.  And then there were a few younger types, too.  I attribute their presence to Clapton’s immense popularity that simply snowballed over the past 37 years… there are Clapton freaks who would probably go to hear him play if he were sitting in with the Tommy Dorsey Band.  

I saw a lot of balding and thinning hair guys (myself included… thank God I don’t have to look at myself from behind)… a lot of spreading middles (myself included… man it’s a bitch getting old)… a lot of guys who looked like they had to shed the coats & ties from the workplace…  

And I tell you what else I saw… a lot of smiles, a lot of expressions that said in every pore, I am glad I was here tonight…  

Sitting on Frank’s right was a guy who saw all three MSG performances.  the play list was identical on each night, yet each song was a unique expression of the moment… and he did not feel short changed, he did not feel that his “out-of-pocket” was a waste.  

All 3 performances?  I was not that lucky.  But I was lucky enough.  Wednesday night?  It was my night.  A night like no other.  A unique experience that will never be duplicated.  But an experience that can be the subject of “water cooler reflection”…  

You know how it is… you meet a co-worker on a break… you talk sports, you talk music… he (or she) brings up some “humongo” concert recently attended… and then it’s time to play the “trump card”…yeah “… but I just saw Cream on Wednesday, October 26… and I saw Ginger Baker, who looked like he was on loan from Madame Tussaud’s, give a rendition of ‘Toad’ that brought the house down!”  

Oh! the richness of our memories!  And the added treat for me to be able to connect two events separated by 37 years!  Think of all that has transpired in those 37 years!  My, oh my… “lotta water under the bridge”, as they say.  

I will not dwell on the those 37 years here… I prefer to glory in experiencing an event that is rarer than a Super Bowl, rarer than a Pavarotti Concert, rarer than a Renoir exhibition…  

The performance itself?  Wonderful.   

Permit me a wine analogy… I love great red wine… First Growth Bordeaux, Grand Cru Burgundy, Brunello…outstanding stuff… but as great as those wines are, the truth is you can find great red wine, although expensive, pretty much without having to cut a sweat… Great white wine on the other hand?  Real, real hard to find… great white wine is very expensive & something truly to savor.  

Clapton and Baker were terrific.  But great rock guitarists and drummers are in supply… But Jack Bruce on bass?  He is like a great White Burgundy.  You just don’t find them lying around the shelf.  

Jack Bruce’s performance on Wednesday night was simply stunning.  When was the last time you saw a guy play a fretless bass?  When was the last time you saw anywhere the skill of Bruce as he moved up and down the neck of the bass, his fingers dancing over the strings?  

It was refreshing to hear more of Clapton on vocals… Bruce’s vocal range is reduced…  

But make no mistake… Wednesday was an exquisite show all the way around… I am sure that critics will emerge from the weeds… it will always happen… folks loving taking shots at the champ… I am sure there are those who enjoy looking at the Mona Lisa and offering, “I don’t think the smile is so special…”  

Everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion…  

Wednesday?  I re-captured some time… put some sweetness in the bottle…  

It was special to share Wednesday with Frank.  Too bad my magic wand blew its clutch or Jock, Will, Zack, Philip & Doc Reid (my music “soul mates”) would have been there, too.  

Sitting on top of the world… that’s where I was on Wednesday… and do you  know what? I’m still there!

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Do You Like Dessert Wine

Posted on October 24, 2005 by Jim

I’m not the best judge of distances.  I stand by my ball… look at the green and say, “it looks like about an eight iron…”  Now this is not the way it’s done by good players.  Good players look at the green and judge the distance to be “X” yards away… and then select the appropriate club (knowing how far you hit an eight iron, say).  Maybe that’s why I was not a real good golfer… although I did love the game while I played it.  I just never let judging distances accurately bug me.  

I’m just as inadequate in determining room size.  You know how many feet by how many feet.   

We have a room at Grapes which we call our “Bordeaux Room”.  One long wall is completely covered by wood panels from the crates that fine wine (like Bordeaux) is shipped in.  This motif is repeated in our long table that is made of the like crate ends… put together in a beautiful mosaic and sealed under a protective coat of something-or-other.  

I judge the length of the room to be a long putt.  

Or maybe better stated… the size of the room seats 20 citizens around our rather long Bordeaux Room Tasting Table.  And there is room for a side table that I use as a staging area when I conduct our wine tastings.  

And on a recent night the room is split substantially in two groups… Richard has brought 6 co-workers… guys from the local and the New York office… what was going to be a couples thing turned into a guys night when their spouses spit the bit.

Occupying the other part of the table was Annalies and 3 of her friends.  Annalies is a regular attendee of our Tastings… she always brings new friends to the room.  

We had a few others sitting down, too… it just turned out to be men sitting to one side and women to the other giving the room an Orthodox feel to it…  

We moved thru the flight of Aussie wines without a hitch… Tir Na N’og Grenache ’03 from McLaren Vale is the clear cut favorite… and there is a buzz in the room as folks are busy putting orders together….  

And that’s when I bring in the final wine… 3 Bridges Botrytis Semillon ’04… a dessert wine.  

“Ladies & gentlemen… now, for the most misunderstood wine as a category in the United States:  The Dessert Wine.  I don’t care… go to any top restaurant… here or in New York.  Take a look at the wine list… wonderful reds and whites from all over the place… Champagnes… maybe a page of Ports?  Dessert wines?  One or two at best.  

“And it’s because Americans don’t understand the wine.  

“First we think they are sweet and cloying and leave a syrupy film coating in our mouth.  

“And this couldn’t be further from the truth.  High quality dessert wine is packed with lush sweet fruit flavours… but they finish dry.  They actually refresh the palate.  

“Next, we don’t really understand the service.  Dessert wines should be served cold… and right after the main part of the meal, because a good dessert wine acts as a ‘liquid sorbet’… it clears the palate.  It also is a dessert all by itself… or if you would like, serve a good dessert wine with creme brulee or zabione, or perhaps a fruit tart…  

“But regardless… when you serve a dessert wine you have instantly elevated your dinner to the highest level of dinning.  You have just transported your evening to the Cunard Line… to crossing the Atlantic before WWII, when men and women dressed for dinner & when dinner was served in courses, beginning with an aperitif white, proceeding to a fuller white, a red matched to the courses of food and finishing with a dessert wine.  

“And make no mistake… this is not Port.  Port is also wonderful… but that is served as a stand alone.  You know… it’s Sunday Afternoon, the snow and wind are beating against the window panes, you put another log on the fire and open some Port… and maybe some Stilton cheese…  

“But while Port is separated from Dinner… dessert wine is not only an integral part of a dinner, it is the key ingredient in making an evening special because it is so rarely encountered.  

“Perhaps the finest dessert wines come from Sauternes in Bordeaux… and the greatest Sauternes of all is Chateau D’Yquem.  Once you’ve had Ch. D’Yquem you get spoiled… spoiled and picky.  I have never had a bad Ch. D’Yquem… to me it’s a matter of degrees of excellence… but the pundits love to critique a champion… and so Vintages are nevertheless judged and rated… and while we are not tasting Ch. D’Yquem tonight… my recommendation is to buy the ‘worst’ Vintage of Yquem (making it less expensive to acquire) and drink the nectar of angels.  Ratings?  a big fat pah!  

“But tonight I am going to give you a taste of what that piece of heaven is like.  Tonight I am going to pour you a small amount of another dessert wine… and in keeping with the ‘down under’ nature of our tasting flight… 3 Bridges is from South Eastern Australia… it uses the same grape varietal as Ch. D’Yquem… Semillon…. it has also been affected by the same determining mold that is responsible for its unique sweetness… Botrytis Cinerea… and further, Ch. D’Yquem’s wine maker is a consulting oenologist at 3 Bridges!  

“Please have a smile prepared…”  

Did you like the dessert wine?  Well… I may not be good at judging distances; but I am good at judging smiles and nods of satisfaction.  And if you ask me I just stuck an eight iron and I’m “hole high”, five feet from the pin.      

 

p.s.  A note of thanks has to be given to Amanda who finally gave me the key to remembering the difference between “desert” and “dessert”… since we always want second helpings of dessert… it is the word that has double “s”. Thanks “My Manda”.

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