A Business Partnership in Antiquity Gone Bad

Before crossing the Rubicon River in 44BCE, Julius Caesar took time to time to write to his ally and colleague, Brutus…

Dear Brutus,

I am ready to make my return to Rome.  I am bringing a Legion, and knowing that it is a violation to Roman Law and authority, I am prepared to bring battle to my opponents. The blood of my enemies will flow like a river. I will win. I will rejoice in their agony.  I will put dung beetles on their rotting corpses!  On the lighter side, in my baggage train are 20,000 cases of wine from Gaul (it’s good to be Caesar!).  I have Sancerre from the Loire, crisp Rieslings from Alsace, all the Grand Cru Burgundies, excellent Hermitage and Côte-Rôtie, I took all of the Ch. Cheval Blanc that I could get my hands on and some delightful sipping Rosés from Provence. Oh, and some cheddar cheese from Britain.

Once I have defeated that weasel Pompey and all the Senators that support him, I want you to arrange a triumph.  I want floats, bands, caged beasts and prostitutes.  After a week of frivolity, we are going to open the J. & B. Wine Emporium… Julius and Brutus!  I have purchased a perfect location on the Appian Way (plenty of parking for chariots and ox carts!).  I have even thought of our slogan… “Wines for the Nobility at Citizens’ Prices!”  You and I will be rich and I can pay off my substantial debts.

And so Brutus… how’s by you?

Julie

The response from Brutus…

Dear Julie,

I am looking forward to your return.  Pompey is actively plotting against you.  But you will win Julie… Ev’ry guy here’d love to be you Julie, even when taking your lumps. There’s no man in town as admired as you, you’re ev’ryone’s favorite guy. Ev’ryone’s awed and inspired by you, and it’s not very hard to see why. No one’s slick as Julie, no one’s quick as Julie, no one’s neck’s as incredibly thick as Julie’s. For there’s no man in town half as manly. Perfect, a pure paragon! You can ask any Tom, Dick or Stanley and they’ll tell you whose team they prefer to be on!

I’ll begin planning the triumph.  I’m thinking your float can have vine cuttings from Gaul and a miniature villa.  You will be riding on a donkey in front of it dressed like Bacchus with a fake beard, surrounded by an entourage of nymphs, fawns and centaurs! As for the Emporium… the slogan works! But I’m thinking that B. & J. Wine Emporium has a better sound… Brutus & Julius.

Brutus

Youth of Bacchus

A memo from Julius Caesar to Brutus dated Prid. Id. Mart. {March 14th 44BCE}

From the Desk of Caesar

Prid. Id. Mart.

Brutus:

I want to run an “Ides of March Sale” tomorrow. Move all the cases of the 47BCE Bordeaux to the front of the shop and mark them down 50%.  They’re past good drinking and we might as well convert those cases into cash.  Put the Port’s and Madeira’s into the remainder bins, down 35%.  But send a case of Rainwater Madeira to Lucius Cimber.  Charge that dirt bag full price.  Create a mixed display of Whites — Albariño’s, Pinot Blanc’s and Grüner Veltliner’s and make a large sign “Special Sale, Flavorful Weekend Whites Now 20% Off Suggested Retail Prices!”  And then a smaller sign underneath “While Supplies Last!” We got to begin pushing white wines.  Set up a wine tasting table for Riesling, Gewürztraminer and Torrontes.  Put the sandwich board sign next to the table “Add some tasty spice to your Holiday Table — Today Only 25% Off!!” Something else… I just cut a huge deal with one of our distributors who is going out of business (actually I had him murdered… it’s good to be Caesar!) — Clear some space near the fire exit in the back, we have 200 cases of Châteauneuf du Pape and 20 cases of Krug Champagne coming in.  Oh, and also three wheels of Jarlsberg cheese.  Have two sent up to my Villa, and the third over to that goniff Gaius Casca with my complements.  I will meet with these nuisance Senators tomorrow.  Please plan an orgy for the evening.  What Senator doesn’t love a good orgy!

See you tomorrow!

Julie

The Ides of March, Brutus overheard muttering as he left the Theatre of Pompey, “B. & J. Wine Emporium has a much better sound…”

assassination of julius caesar

n.b. The line “And so Brutus… how’s by you” in its orignal Latin appears as Et tu, Brute

 

Posted in Ministry of Humor | 1 Comment

 Pork Cassoulet & Di Sipo Cerasuolo d’Abruzzo ’13

 Pork Cassoulet & Di Sipo Cerasuolo d’Abruzzo ’13

This is an instance where I wanted to try a wine, and selected a dish that I thought would work.  No need for suspense.  The cassoulet hit the mark for the Cerasuolo.  There are any number of variations for cassoulet.  It’s a French “country” stew composed of cuts of pork, sausages, duck confit and white beans.  I was looking for a recipe that would shorten the hours of cooking time most of the recipes required.  And I found one, only 45 minutes.  That’s 45 minutes for someone else!  From start to finish I was thru in under 90 minutes, and into my second glass of wine!

A great call for wine would have been something from Alsace or the Rhine.  Riesling, Pinot Blanc, Pinot Gris.  But I wanted to try this wine from Abruzzo.  Cerasuolo is a treasured “bistro & café’” wine from Italy’s Abruzzo.  It is a Rosé of Montepulciano, and it gets its name from its distinctive cherry hue. This is unlike any other Rosé I have ever had.  Richer and more complex in both scent and flavor than the Rosés that I so enjoy from Provence.  In every manner this wine behaves like a light flavorful red.  I couldn’t have asked for a better wine to enjoy with the cassoulet.  I thrust the bottle into the snow on my deck for 15 minutes and the wine had a perfect chill.

Di Sipo Cerasuolo d’Abruzzo ‘13 (Abruzzo, Italy)
A bright cherry red, deeper in hue due to the depth of color in Mlontepulciano’s grape skins.  Full and intense aroma of berries, wild strawberries, cherries but with a layering of almonds and garden herbs.  Transition from scent to palate is seamless.  Beautiful red fruit, softened by a subtle earthiness.  Silky, with a fresh dry finish.  Good length, and a palate cleansing level of acidity.  Great wine to enjoy on its own merit or with food!

Ingredients:

6 ounces of Tanqueray Gin
½ ounce of Noilly Pratt Dry Vermouth
3 Blue Cheese Stuffed Olives
A Goodly amount of Ice
2 tbsp olive oil
2 cans (15oz) cannellini beans, rinsed & drained
2 cups low sodium chicken broth
1 lb pork tenderloin, trimmed and cut into 1” chunks
12 oz kielbasa, halved lengthwise and sliced ¼” thick
1 onion chopped fine
4 cloves garlic, minced
2 tbsp minced fresh thyme
1 can (14.50z) diced tomatoes

Directions:

1. Put gin and vermouth into a glass pitcher, fill with ice, stir vigorously while incanting, “You who know all, thank you for providing us juniper and all the obscure ingredients responsible for creating this sacred liquid!”  Strain into a pre-frozen Martini glass of admirable size.  Skewer the olives on one of those tacky cocktail swords, place in glass.  Immediately begin consuming.  Now you can begin the food prep, and the cooking!

2. Process 1 1/2 cups of beans and 1 cup of broth in a blender ’til smooth, about 10 seconds; set aside.

3. Heat oil in a Dutch oven over medium-high heat ’til just smoking. Pat  pork dry with paper towels and season with salt and pepper.  Brown pork on all sides, about 8 minutes; transfer to bowl.

4. Add sausage and onion to Dutch oven and cook over medium heat ’til onion  softened, about 5 minutes.  Stir in garlic and thyme and cook ’til fragrant, about 30 seconds.  Stir in remaining 1 cup of broth, scraping up any browned bits.  Stir in tomatoes, pureed beans and remaining beans and simmer ’til slightly thickened, about 10 minutes.

5.  Stir in browned pork, along with any accumulating juices, into stew and cook ’til heated thru, about 2 minutes.  About 2 minutes.  Serve.

n.b.  Cassoulet is sometimes prepared with a bread crumb topping, or with croutons.  I sliced a baguette into 1/2” slices, shmeared garlic butter on both sides, and fried the slices in a skillet to make garlic toasts.

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Chicken Cutlets w/Tarragon-Mushroom Sauce and 2013 Castellari Beraglio ‘Fornaci’ Gavi

Last week I tasted an incredible white wine from Piedmont… the 2013 Castellari Bergaglio ‘Fornaci’ Gavi.  Gavi is one of the finest white wines made in the world, although it comes from a region better known for its majestic reds… Barolo and Barbaresco.  But make no mistake, the richness of this particular wine is grand on its own and a suitable match for a full flavored dish.  I have had other Gavi’s before; but none can surpass this one.  I immediately loved the wine for its complexity.  Not merely fruit or floral, the wine has a marvelous scent with a garden herbal accent that transitioned perfectly to the palate.  Smooth texture with a satisfying palate cleansing level of acidity, which is why this wine is a natural for a great food dish.

Having selected my wine I then turned my attention to find an accompanying recipe.  I found an easy recipe (easy is very important for me) that utilized boneless chicken breasts with a simple sauce using mushrooms, pearl onions and tarragon. I served the chicken with “Any-Night Baked Rice”… a recipe from Wini Moranville’s The Bonne Femme Cookbook. Food and wine worked splendidly.  Other wine choices that would have done very well… a Red Côte de Beaune Burgundy, Crozes-Hermitage Blanc, Cru Beaujolais, or a Barbera (a lighter version).

Castellari Bergaglio ‘Fornaci’ Gavi ‘13 (Piedmont,Italy)
100% Cortese. Medium-deep green-gold. Ripe scents of yellow apple and floral are blended with a note of talcum powder and garden herb; shows less of the stony overlay of the Gavis from Rovereto. The ripe citrus and anise flavors take a tropical turn, picking up a pineapple quality on the rather long, fresh finish. A textbook example of the Gavis made in the area of Tassarolo, less mineral and more fruit-forward than those of Rovereto. I’d drink this beauty over the next year or two.

CHICKEN CUTLETS W/TARRAGON-MUSHROOM SAUCE

Ingredients
6 ounces of Tanqueray Gin
½ ounce of Noilly Pratt Dry Vermouth
A goodly amount of ice
3 blue cheese stuffed olives
2 cups unsalted chicken stock
½ carrot, cut into 1 inch pieces
½ celery stalk, cut into 1 inch pieces
¼ onion, halved
1 bay leaf
4 (6 oz) skinless, boneless chicken breast halves
½ tsp kosher salt, divided
½ tsp black pepper divided
3 tbsp all-purpose flour
2 tbsp olive oil, divided
1 cup quartered mushrooms
½ cup frozen pearl onions
1 tbsp water
2½ tsp cornstarch
1 tbsp chopped fresh tarragon

Directions
1. Put gin and vermouth into a glass pitcher, fill with ice, stir vigorously while incanting, “You who know all, thank you for providing us juniper and all the other obscure ingredients responsible for creating this sacred liquid!” Strain into a pre-frozen Martini glass of admirable size.  Skewer the olives on one of those tacky cocktail swords, place in glass. Immediately begin consuming.  Now you can begin the food prep, and the cooking!

2. Bring chicken stock ½ carrot,  ½ celery stalk, ¼ onion, 1 bay leaf to a boil in a saucepan. Cook 6 minutes or until reduced to 1¼ cups. Remove solids with a slotted spoon; discard.

3. Cut chicken breast halves horizontally to form 8 cutlets.  Sprinkle evenly with a ¼ teaspoon salt and ¼ teaspoon pepper.  Place flour in a shallow dish; dredge chicken in flour.  Heat a large skillet over medium-high heat.  Add 1 tablespoon oil and 1 teaspoon butter to pan; swirl to coat.  Add cutlets 4 to a pan; cook 2 minutes on each side or until golden. Remove from pan; cover with foil to keep warm.  Repeat procedure with remaining 1 tablespoon oil, 1 teaspoon of butter, and 4 cutlets.

4. Return skillet to medium-high heat.  Add mushrooms and onions; cook 5 minutes or until browned.  Add stock mixture; bring to a boil, scraping pan to loosen browned bits.  Combine 1 tablespoon water and cornstarch.  Stir cornstarch mixture into stock mixture; cook 1 minute or until the sauce thickens.  Stir in remaining ¼ teaspoon salt, remaining ¼ teaspoon pepper, and tarragon.  Spoon sauce over chicken.

ANY NIGHT BAKED RICE
From Wini Moranville

Ingredients
1 tbsp unsalted butter
¼ cup finely chopped onion
1 clove garlic, minced
1 cup long grain rice
¼ tsp dried thyme, crushed
1½ cups low-sodium chicken broth
1 bay leaf

Directions
1. Preheat oven to 425°F. Melt butter in a flameproof, ovenproof pot with a heavy lid over medium heat.  Add the onion and cook until tender but not brown, 4-5 minutes.  Add the garlic and cook, stirring until fragrant, about 30 seconds.

2. Add the rice and dried thyme; cook and stir about 1 minute more (the rice should be nicely coated with butter and starting to cook, but not yet brown).  Add the broth and bay leaf; stir to break up any clumps of rice. Bring to a boil.

3. Cover the pot tightly and slide it into the oven.  Bake the rice for 15 minutes.  Remove from the oven and let stand, covered for 5 minutes.

4. Remove and discard the bay leaf.  Stir the rice with a fork and serve immediately.  Or let stand, covered, in a warm place for up to 20 minutes more.  If desired, sprinkle with fresh thyme.

n.b. The rice recipe is insane.  I kept the rice on an unheated back burner while I finished preparing the mushroom-tarragon sauce.

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For My Friends and Family

Some of you were there to see Sandy at her worst… the encephalitis a raging storm gripping her mind and body.  I have said to some of you, “I would have gladly signed a contract with God two and half years ago to get Sandy where she is today.”  And that is the truth.  But human nature is a funny beast, isn’t it.  We step back from the precipice and we become greedy, and we want more.

Honestly, a day doesn’t go by when I don’t think how lucky Sandy and I are.  It’s not about what we don’t have or can’t do, it’s about what we have and what we can do.  And that’s another thing about human nature… we learn to adapt. It’s a great thing.

On Sunday Sandy and I went to breakfast at Constantine’s in Woodbury. Although it’s not a favorite place of ours, I do enjoy the dark wood and coziness of the old booths. Sandy had her back to the entry; but I had a very good view of a woman bringing her elderly Father in for breakfast. Even with a walker, and the help of his daughter, he moved forward with the greatest of difficulty. The very act of getting from walker to seat was done in the smallest of increments.

It all brought to mind a writing piece I penned a few years ago about another breakfast…

Breakfast at the Silver Star

Posted on May 19, 2002 by Jim

Shaina commented to me that all the mirrors in the Silver Star Diner gave the place a spooky feel… I agreed that there were a ton of mirrors; but I thought it was sort of neat to be able to sometimes see things from a couple of different perspectives at the same time.

We had stopped in at the Silver Star for a late breakfast. I was to drive Shaina to Stamford to pick up the Saturn so she could head north for a few days to see her boy friend John.

Shaina ordered pancakes, and while my original yen was for a tuna melt on rye, the scrapple on the menu caught my eye, so I settled for my usual 2 eggs over easy w/hashed browns, toast, and scrapple. While we were chowing down, I caught sight of this guy in one of the mirrors, pushing this woman in a wheel chair to the booth in back and diagonally across from us.

Shaina’s view was direct, while mine was via a mirror. I watched as the man attended to the foot piece of the chair so he could help her stand slightly as she slid into the booth. Once he had her settled he folded the chair up so it wouldn’t obstruct the aisle.

The fellow had a pony tail, greying hair and the woman had very nice red hair, cut very short… I judged them to be somewhat younger than me, perhaps early to mid- forties. Her legs were withered match sticks… she wore light blue slacks, a deeper blue top and a white sweater…

I watched her expression as the fellow busied himself with putting the chair away… and she had this totally serene look to her face, and yes, a contented smile…

Shaina also watched this…

“What do you see?” I asked her…

And Shaina looks… and I said, “you know, I see a person who is absolutely thrilled for what she has…and perhaps all we can see is things she doesn’t have…”

The more I studied her, the more I thought about how lucky she was… how lucky to be able to have such joy in her eyes, to be able to breathe the air, feel the sunshine, have a breakfast on a beautiful day…

And I felt lucky, too… it underscored how important the small things are in our lives…

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