Paige & Milton

“The Emperor Penguin breeds in the coldest environment of any bird species; air temperatures may reach −40 °F, and wind speeds may reach 89 mph. Water temperature is a frigid 28.8 °F,which is much lower than the Emperor Penguin’s average body temperature of 102 °F.”

“The Emperor Penguin is perhaps best known for the sequence of journeys adults make each year in order to mate and to feed their offspring. The only penguin species that breeds during the Antarctic winter, it treks 31–75 miles over the ice to breeding colonies which may include thousands of individuals. The female lays a single egg, which is incubated by the male while the female returns to the sea to forage for a period of 64 days.”

MILTON: Hey! Where the hell do you think you’re going?

PAIGE: Me and the girls are going for a swim.  Thought we’d check out the chinstraps on the South Sandwich Islands, then head over to Buenos Aires, get our nails done, do some shopping, hit a few clubs.  Maybe a bite to eat…

MILTON: What clubs?

PAIGE: Milton… we’re just going out for some dinner. The “ocean club.” The Antarctic Ocean! I’ll bring you back a fish!

MILTON:  Hey!  What am I supposed to do with this fool egg?

PAIGE:  I don’t know… read it a story.  Tolstoy.  You’ll be here for a while!

MILTON:  Read it a story.  That’s fucking great!  It’s the Antarctic winter… you know.  Like it’s pitch dark, you know!  I can’t read in the dark! The pages of the book will crumble in this air temp!  Shit!  And just where am I supposed to keep this damned egg when you’re off on a hoot with your girl friends?  Sex starved girl friends, I might add.  That Sheila will do the “wild thing” with the first chinstrap penguin she finds!

PAIGE:  You keep the egg… that’s our egg, Milton… on your feet and off the ice just like all the other guys in the colony do!

MILTON:  Great, just great.  Where did you put the L.L. Bean thermal socks that you gave me for my birthday… even though what I really wanted was an underwater I-Pod player. This is great… I have to keep this egg balanced on my feet, in the dark, in the freezing cold.  What a life!  We have to be the stupidest species on earth.  Who came up with this idea anyway?

PAIGE:  I don’t hear Bartlett complaining to Sheila.

MILTON: Bartlett?  Don’t get me started about that dumb penguin.  Always bragging about how warm his feathers are… how he is rated to −50 °F.  Damn it, I’m cold already!  How am I supposed to keep warm?  Will you please tell me that!!

PAIGE: You form a huddle with all the other guys in the colony… you jam in together real close and tight, and then you take turns being on the inside of the huddle where it’s warmer. You’ll love it.  It’s a form of bonding.  You’ll get to know Bartlett better!

MILTON: Jammed in all together?  Bonding?  It sounds like a homo thing to me…

PAIGE: Nonsense!

MILTON: Hey!  What happens when I get hungry?  I think I am hungry already.  I  might not wait for you to come back from stuffing yourself!  Yeah… I might scramble me an egg!  Or maybe I’ll regurgitate some squid and make an omelet! A tasty squid omelet, some home fries and whole wheat toast with gooseberry preserves!

PAIGE:  Don’t even think about it Milton!  Look… I’ll be back in two months and I better find you and our egg!! Now let me hear your “call” so I’ll be able to find you in the colony when I return.

MILTON:  Call?  Yeah, I’ve been working on it…

Your red scarf matches your eyes

You close your cover before striking

Father had the ship-fitter blues

And loving you has made me bananas

PAIGE:  That’s your call?

MILTON:  There’s more…

You burned your finger that evening

While my back was turned

You asked the waiter for iodine

While I dined all alone!

PAIGE:  See you in two months Milton

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Fantasy Drafts Out of Control

FRIENDS…

This fantasy draft stuff is really getting silly… but, it’s finally entering into a zone where I can fully, and enthusiastically participate.

I can’t believe there are people who are unfamiliar with Fantasy Leagues… but rather than risk embarassment to friends, family and my groupies by assuming too much, I will briefly explain the concept of a Fantasy League.

It’s a way for fans (let’s say football fans) to vicariously particpate in the games that are played each week.  It’s not as simple as putting a wager down on my team (the Indianapolis Colts) against your team (the hated New York Jets… may they not win another game ’til the next asteroid crashes into earth sending a gigantic cloud into the sky destroying 98% of all life forms)… you see that’s easy, and it worked for me.  But for the a newer generation, it just ain’t good enough.

So… what would happen if I could make up my own team… a FANTASY TEAM… composed of players from all the teams?  Sure I would have some of the Colts players on my team; but I could also have some of the best players from other teams, too.  Now, let’s put like minded fans together and select teams to compete against each other… no different then when we were choosing up sides for games in grade school, right? Also, no different from the way Professional Football Teams actually select the college kids preparing to enter the NFL.  And that process is called the Draft

The Fantasy League follows the same process… in turn each fan selects a player from all the players on all the teams.  Obviously the best players go first.  And then to measure success of your fantasy team it is no longer a matter of the Colts knocking the shit out of the Jets 856-0, and let that ass-hole Jets fan in the fireman’s hat who leads their cheers develop a permanent case of rectal itch… We measure success in a Fantasy League by the actual statistical performance of the players in their games.  So may points for Quarterbacks’ completions, yards gained & touchdowns thrown.

A fan now not only roots for his “real” team to win; but he also roots for individual players from his or her “fantasy” team to perform statistically well playing for other “real” teams.

Yes, divided loyalty if you ask me.  Can you imagine if the Colts played the Chargers and I had Antonio Gates (their star receiver) on my “fantasy” team?  I get indigestion thinking about it.

OK.  Enough.  I hope you get the idea.  There’s all sorts of Fantasy Leagues… on line, office pools, you name it.  All the major sports are covered.  And then some.  I’m finally getting to my point (aren’t you glad?).  Zachary keeps on coming up with cockamammie things to organize into a “Fantasy Draft.”  But in so doing, we have left the “playing pitch” of athletic teams, and entered into the random grouping of things that have unifying themes… and, this is key, there is actually no way to measure the success of your team!

So… I heard from Zack yesterday “If I did a fantasy draft of most memorable books from my childhood, Where the Wild Things Are would be in the top 5″.

I’m in.

Last night, while experiencing the utter brilliance of rye as a grain when used in a liquid… I kicked around the possibilities for a Fantasty Draft… Black & White Movies… Comedians… Fascist Dictators (this happened around whisky #2).

Well, I settled on The League of Cartoon Characters.   And to make things easy, and hoepfully to avert a lot of in-fighting and unnecessary squabbling, I have appointed myself Commisioner of the League.  And my first act as Commisioner is to appoint me to be the head of the Rules Committee.

There will be ten rounds in the draft.

I will pick first (I am doing this in an arbitrary and capricious manner… if you must know, I fear that Gary Moss or Will Waters would choose Foghorn Leghorn, and I wasn’t about to let that happen!)  Then the order will be determined by the order in which folks join the League.  Once the order is determined, you will have 2 hours to make a selection with the day concluding at 8:00PM Eastern Time, and resuming at 7:30AM.

Jim Winston selects with his first round… Foghorn Leghorn

If you want in, sign up on my Facebook page

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Wine Tastings

Try it, you’ll like it!  Or maybe you won’t.  That’s the conundrum… a seemingly endless sea of wine, different wines, different vintages, different labels.  It’s all so confusing.  And when all is said and done, it’s still a matter of trying something that is a new and different, or resigning yourself to opening the same bottle of wine each time.  Same wine each time?  How boring is that?

What to do?  You can certainly read up on stuff… Wine Advocate, Wine Spectator, Wine Enthusiast, International Wine Cellar, Decanter… excellent monthly publications.  You can learn a lot.  The New York Times has a column on Wednesday and the Wall St. Journal has one on Friday.  You can learn even more.

Good ratings from the monthlies and editorial endorsements from the weeklies are well and good; but you drink wine for your pleasure, not for Robert Parker of the Wine Advocate or Eric Asimov of the New York Times.  A great rating speaks for the quality of the wine, not whether you will like it.

Read all you want.  The best way to learn is to taste.  And the best way to taste is to take advantage of Wine Tastings when there is an opportunity to try several wines in comparison. Wineries are a sure bet; but it could also be at a shop that specializes in wines… or how about in the home?

Here are several ways to look at wine…

Vertical Tasting. This is looking at the same wine but in several vintages. There is no finer way to experience how wine evolves over time than to try the same Napa Cab, for example;  but in different vintages.  Maybe the current vintage was rated as better; but the vintage from three years ago is drinking better?  A text book on how wine improves with additional bottle age.

Horizontal Tasting. The same wine type, different producers, but in the same vintage. Perhaps all Cabernet Sauvignons from the 2005 Vintage; but from different zones… Rutherford Bench, Oakville, Howell Mountain & etc.  Or several Bordeaux from their great 2005 Vintage.  This type of tasting provides a clue as to the variables of vineyard and winemaking quality, and how both will have an impact on price.  And isn’t it fun to enjoy a more modest Bordeaux from the Cotes de Blaye than a Classified Growth from Margaux?

Same Grape, Different Country. Interest in Pinot Noir is at an all time high. But this varietal is known for its finicky disposition.  It is a varietal that is sensitive to both climate and soil and the wines produced from this fickle grape can be dramatically different region from region, country from country.  Differences abound in Chardonnay and many other varietals, too.

Blind Tasting. Putting several wines in bags to cover their labels is perhaps the best way to focus on the taste of wine.  Be prepared to be surprised.  Also know that it can be a bit unsettling to try something when you are stripped of your predisposed preferences… the “I-don’t-like-Merlot” can be in for fall when that is chosen as a favorite wine in the tasting flight. This is a humbling exercise, and it is the quickest way to level the playing field between experienced and inexperienced wine tasters.

Potpourri Tasting. A tasting doesn’t have to be overly organized.  The wines can simply follow the course of an evening, or the dinner being served.  Begin with a sparkling wine as an aperitif, enjoy a lighter white wine, follow it with a white with a more robust structured nature, then a couple of reds… a fresh red and then one with greater complexity, and then conclude with a dessert wine.  Hey!  It’s supposed to be fun!

Sure… reading about wine can’t help but develop an interest in wine… to add knowledge.  But if you want to learn about wine, you have to taste it.  Taste, taste and taste again. Assume that you will like some over others.  But the more you taste, the more you will understand why a certain wine, given the time of the year, given the food being served, given the company that you are sharing it with, given your mood, will be the right wine.  And often the right wine, given all the variables, will not be your “favorite” wine.

Wine is only boring when you treat it as just a form of flavoured alcohol.  Wine is all about variety.  OK.  Go taste! 

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Syrah/Shiraz

You say tomato, I say tomahto.  Yes, Syrah and Shiraz are the same grape varietal (and Petite Sirah – known as Durif in France– is a completely a different varietal and a story for a different day).

Its origin is traced back to one of the World’s oldest viticultural zones in Ancient Persia and to one of its principle cities, ShirazHow the vine found its way to the Rhone Valley, in what is today France, is somewhat in dispute. It’s a good possibility that the Phocaeans from Asia Minor who founded Marseille in 600BC brought the vines with them.  Or possibly it was introduced by the Roman Legions via Egypt and Syracuse.  Ruling the World builds a mighty thirst… Rome and their Legionnaires loved their wine.

Either way, by 71AD viticulture had certainly made its way to the central and northern portions of the Rhone Valley where Syrah would find a home in what would become known as Hermitage and Cote Rotie.  It is here that Syrah would find its greatest expression.

Hermitage produced dark, rich and brooding wines filled with complex aromas of black plum, violets, spice and an incredible meatiness… not for the faint of heart, nor for the casual imbiber.  In the 19th Century, the Hermitage Vineyards set just to the north of the City of Tain, les Rocoules, le Meal, les Bessards & etc., were ranked along side of Ch. Lafite and Romanee-Conti as the finest wines of the World.

The house of E. Guigal would put the stamp of excellence in the Cote Rotie.  Their luxury bottlings of La Mouline, La Turque and La Landonne (known collectively as the “La La’s”) are harder to get than First Growth Bordeaux or Grand Cru Burgundy.

If the quality of this varietal remained just a creature of the Northern Rhone, then perhaps this story would not have been written.  And certainly the vine is seen elsewhere.  Syrah is planted in the Southern Rhone as well, where it is one of the red grapes that is used in the recipe for many Chateauneuf du Papes.  And in the huge region of Midi, use of Syrah as a blending grape is credited with raising up the over all quality of wine throughout the French south.

Where the grape has achieved its greatest lift has been in Australia, where it is known by its “other” name: Shiraz.  It is likely that James Busby brought Syrah to Australia as part of the 400 vine cuttings that he brought to that part of the world in 1832.  It was written, “Scyras… an excellent grapes, and promises to be at least equally valuable for red wine as the Verdeilho is for white.”

With an abundant grape yield, Shiraz became the most planted red varietal in Australia. But it was Max Schubert winemaker of Penfolds, taken by the wines of the Northern Rhone on a trip there in 1951, who would launch Syrah into Aussie stardom.  He began to tinker with the grape and produced an “experimental” wine he called Grange.  A huge wine, made in a rich fruit abundant style, more than any other wine, Penfold’s Grange caught the attention of the wine world.  Grange became a defining wine of what could be produced in Australia.

Giovanni Manetti of Italy also fell under the spell of Guigal’s achievement in the Rhone and brought back Syrah cuttings to his Estate, Fontodi, in Tuscany where his

Casa Via Syrah has earned huge praise in the critical press.

The same story can be repeated in Napa, where David Ramey, considered by many to be one of the finest makers of Cabernet Sauvignon, has taken a plunge into making Syrah.

Indeed, Syrah is capturing the imagination of wine growers from every corner of the globe.  It takes well to the steep rocky hillsides of the Priorat in Spain, to the soft hillsides of Stellenbosch and Paarl in South Africa (where it is also known as Shiraz), and to the “Super Tuscan” zone in Tuscany’s Bolgheri Coast.

For lovers of richly styled reds, Syrah stands with Cabernet Sauvignon as offering the satisfying depth regardless of growing region.  Greater finesse in the vineyards of the Northern Rhone, more lush fruit from the vineyards of Barossa. Wines to be savoured on their own merit, or enjoyed with hearty meat and game dishes.

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